Ok, People, I know what was in that box that you had in your hands when you rushed out the door, being all weirded out about it sneezing and having foot long boogers. What I don't get is why you brought it BACK. And I also heard it having fun in the Younger Human's room. You bought it toys, didn't you? You bought it a shiny, tinkling little ball, so that it could be in there, making happy noises with MY Younger Human, while I'm on the other side of the door with nothing.
Oh, I bet you didn't even think of that, did you? That maybe I might like a new toy?
And what's with the pink stuff in the fridge? I don't get any of that either, do I? It gets that treat three times a day! I heard you say so.
Oh holy Pope on a pogo stick. You gave it some of MY toys, didn't you???
The last human to fall asleep tonight is going to enjoy some toothy Max fun. I swear.