May 31, 2009

You know, I thought it was a little risky, considering there are birds outside that poop on everything, but the Woman cooked dinner out there tonight, and it was actually very tasty. The worst part was the waiting; she kept opening the door and these chicken smells kept coming in, and I didn't think it was ever going to be ready.

And then, witch-widda-b that she is, she made me wait even longer. She ate, and the Man ate, and I had to sit there on the floor, issuing gentle reminders every so often that I was there and being good, and that I was very very hungry.

Really. My blood sugar dropped so hard and fast that I almost had to lie down on the floor for a bit.

It was totally worth the wait. She gave Buddah and me each a little bite, and Buddah walked away from his so she gave it to me. Normally when stuff gets cooked outside we get told "No, no, it's not for kitties, it will make flames shoot out your ass" but not tonight! So maybe tonight I'll let the Woman have the middle of the bed when she goes back there to "work."


May 29, 2009

Ok. The big bed with the fuzzy blanket is supposed to be MINE during the day, and I graciously allow it to be used at night. But the Woman has been "working" in there a lot lately, and I'm getting used to that. She leaves me a big part of the bed, and I get the occasional head and chin skritch.

But today, geezeiz, she was there, and the Man came in and he got on the bed with her, and then BUDDAH got up there! Every freaking mouth breather possible was on MY bed disturbing MY nap.

Watch the idiot box somewhere else, people, and take that little black monster with you!

My fuzzy blanket has cooties on it now, but no one will wash it for me.

May 27, 2009

Apparently, it's bad form to bite a person on the hand to make them wake up to feed you. Who knew?

May 25, 2009

Patriotic Kitty sez Thank You

To all who served, and those who gave all

May 24, 2009

Look at this. LOOK AT THIS!

Not only does she hog both the computers that I could use, now she's got one hooked up to a giant idiot box, and she sits on MY BED so that she can pretend to work. During the day it's MY bed. I should NOT have to share. Heck, I even only allow Buddah a tiny place on it. He has to curl up on one of the pillows at the top of the bed and the rest is supposed to be just for Max.

Oh and to top it off, this afternoon I woke up from one of my naps and smelled pizza, so of course I got up to go see. And the Woman gives me this "Oh this isn't real pizza, Max, it's just microwave crap."

Well. It seems to me that if it smells like pizza and it's edible like pizza, then it doesn't matter if it's microwave crap. I should get to at least sniff it and take a lick. But no, she wouldn't let me have any.

And now she's sitting up here on the bed with me like she expects me to just hand everything over to her. Well i got news for her. I'm gonna go visit at least a few of my friends' blogs, so she can just stuff it. Her "research" (which I think is a confused attempt at looking for p0rn online, but she's failing miserable at that) can just wait.

Unless she'll go open a can of Stinky Goodness for me. For that, I'll let her have her precious keyboard...

Oh! I almost missed it! It's HUGS WEEKEND in honor and memory of the wonderful and most awesome Bonny Underfoot. Since I really don't want to hug any people around here...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS FOR ALL MY KITTY FRIENDS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

...and we shall never again mention that I actually hugged anyone...

May 22, 2009

The Man was off work for something like 10 days, which chewed up my potential blogging time even more than the Woman's pretense at work has been.

They went and did stuff. Like going to movies that I WANT TO SEE and then they went to San Francisco and SAW STUFF I WANT TO SEE.

They saw these jelly fish at the Aquarium by the Bay:

Jelly fish

I wonder how that tastes with peanut butter...

They saw this girl kitty:


I would like to meet the girl kitty. I think we'd get along. She looks kinds snarky, too.

The Younger Human looks like he had a bunch of Stupid Drinks

The Boy

but he didn't, because he was the one driving. The People are too chicken to drive in San Francisco,so he did it for them, and the Woman sat in the back seat screaming WATCH OUT! a lot.

And SOMEONE got a present, but IT WASN'T ME!

Butters & his snake

That woofie Butters got a snake! A GIANT SNAKE! And they didn't bring ANYTHING home for me!

I'm wounded. Truly I am.

May 14, 2009

This is every freaking day:

Me: I would like to blog now.
The Woman: Just a little bit...I'm almost done with this section.
Me: You said that ten minutes ago.
The Woman: i know, but I'm on a roll here.
Me: Its my turn to have the computer.
The Woman: Max, I'm working.
Me: So?
The Woman: So, if you were writing another book, we'd split computer time. But you're not and I am.
Me: I miss my friends.
The Woman: I know, Big Guy. But I won't be writing forever.
Me: Your last book took you TWO YEARS.
The Woman: This won't take that long.
Me: I'm going to go poop on your pillow now.
The Woman: That's nice. I'm almost done...


May 06, 2009

You know, I've been pretty sure all along that I was special. But I didn't realize how special until just a little while ago, when the Woman looked into the litter box right after I used it and said, "Oh, holy crap!"

I mean, wow. Who'da thunk? Even my poop is that good.

I'm contemplating an attempt at walking on water this afternoon, but that whole getting wet thing kind of skeeves me out.

But really, I'm just glad she FINALLY appreciates my awesomeness.

May 01, 2009

Oh man, I love it on the days the People have chicken for dinner. As long as I'm good, I get a tiny little bit. And Buddah just sits there and doesn't beg, so he gets a tiny little bit.

But Buddah still doesn't like chicken very much, so when I'm done with mine, I get to eat his!

I don't know why this doesn't happen when we have chicken stinky goodness; that he'll eat. Which bites. I would totally eat his chicken stinky goodness if I could. For some reason, he really scarfs it down. Like he thinks I might try to eat it.

Would I do that?