March 15, 2019

It's me! Buddah!

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! Max said I could take over his blog today on account of this is my 14th birthday and he wanted me to knock myself out, but I don't think he meant it like I should run head first into a wall or anything, just, like, use the blog and have some fun and let me take my nap in peace, so that's what I'm doing.

The Mom says that today I get to have extra crunchy treats and my favorite flavors of stinky goodness even though I like all the flavors and I'm not picky like Max is, but I bet I get some beef Fancy Feast because that's the best Fancy Feast, or maybe I'll get some of the new Prime Plus stuff because that's always good, too, or even something with a lot of gravy on it, but not people food because I don't usually like people food, except steak when it's fresh off the grill, but there won't be a fresh steak today because that's Max's favorite food and today is my day.

When I was little I got really big presents on my birthday, like one year I got a screen door for the front door because I like sitting by the open door and getting fresh air, and another year I got a brand new cat tree, but I didn't want big things this year because I have all the big things a kitty could want, but Max said I'm getting something I really like and won't be disappointed about, and I thought that was the beef Fancy Feast but he said, no, it's a real present, just not big, it's fun and I'll be happy, but we don't get presents until after dinner so I have to wait ALL DAY to see what it is and that seems a little mean but he said it's just the way things are and birthday are about hope and by not getting my present until after dinner I have something to look forward to all day, and it'll be worth it.

So for the rest of the day I'm going to take 8 naps, eat lunch and snack, and Max and I are going to spend a little time working on a book that we're writing together even though it seems like I should get a day off for my birthday, but it doesn't feel like work so I suppose that's okay, and then he's going to work on his own book with the Mom while I take another nap, and then the Dad will be awake and it'll be time for dinner, and THEN I get my present and I can't wait!

Max says he didn't think he would be around for my 14th birthday or that I would even make it to 14 because someone was bound to strangle me but he's glad he's here and the day isn't over with yet, so if I bite someone who knows what will happen, but I don't bite as much as I used to even though I still chase him around the house and make him think I'll bite, but I did bite his neck a few days ago so maybe this isn't a good thing to talk about because it makes me look bad and no one should look bad on their birthday.

Happy birthday to me!!!

March 10, 2019

It's mine. All mine.

The people got new furniture. Just a loveseat, which is kind of like a sofa that got washed on hot when it should have been washed on cold. I don't know why they thought we needed one, since there's a sofa and another loveseat in the other room that no one ever uses, but here it is, and I have claimed it.

It's basically Max-sized, and it's in the perfect location to lounge and stare at the Woman while she sits in her recliner and pretends to work. She can feel me watching her, and after half an hour or so usually grumbles "WHAT? What do you want?" and then I get food, which is what I wanted.

There's something up high, though, and I'm not sure what, and have no way to get up there to check it out. I think there's a bird outside on the roof, right where I can hear it, but it might be a roof rat, too, which will thrill the people if it really is.

Seriously, we had them when we moved in, and let me tell you, the people got, like, 53 kinds of excited about it. They even let a total stranger go into the attic just so they could be all BEHOLD OUR HALLOWED ROOF RATS but I think the attention got to the little buggers and they left...but it's been 10 years so maybe they came back.

Oh yeah...10 years in this house. Remember how many times I was forced through the M-word before? Staying put has been nice.

Oh, and this week, Buddah turns 14. FOURTEEN. It feels like he should still be spasto-kitty, but he's an old man, too. I hope he gets what he wants for his birthday, because--like the Woman says a lot--old men should get what they want when they want it.

And don't tell him, but I got him his favorite brand of nip banana. Three of them, even. I hope he'll share one, but if's his present, he can do what he wants. But I bet he will, because even he can't play with three of them at a time.