Ok...I decided to stop ignoring the Woman and start sitting on her every chance I get. Sometimes she likes it, but a lot of the time it just annoys her, especially if she's trying to concentrate on something. But I'm not trying to punish her exactly, 'cause after listening to her and the Man talk, I suppose they had a good reason for being gone. Plus, the Younger Human was here to take care of us, and he fed us pretty well.
Some of you know because you read the Woman's blog...but her Mom's (that would be the Grandma we haven't met) heart attacked her and they had to get inside a giant lipstick tube that hurtled through the air to go see for themselves that the Grandma's heart did not explode or anything. I guess they were very very worried for a while that other thingies inside the Grandma's body were going to make her heart want to go to sleep or something, but the guys in the white coats with pokey-stabby things did some kind of Mojo inducing medical magic, and she started looking better and feeling better. But she doesn't really want to eat, and the People want her to eat. I tried to tell them to send her the extra special Fancy Feast Stinky Goodness because EVERYONE who tries it loves it, but I don't think they heard me.
Yesterday I heard the Woman on the phone thingy talking to one of her 163 sisters and she said the Grandma is in rehab, smoking her crack pipe, and they're going to torture
her! I know stabby places can be scary, but that sounds like the scariest. Oh, wait...she only has three sisters, and the rehab is something called physical therapy, and the crack pipe is some kind of breathing treatment so her lungs feel better.
It's a good thing the Younger Human did such a good job of opening cans for me and Buddah, cause the People are going to ride another lipstick tube in a couple of months to go back. They make it sound like they want to see all those people again, but after really listening, I think they're going in order to swipe #2 sister's Way Cool TV set. She better hide it.