January 31, 2007

Hey! The book is up at Amazon. Sorta. They don't have the cover image yet, but that'll come. And...AND...they bought 10 copies for stock. That's like eight more than they usually order from the distributor.

Oh! It's up at Books-A-Million, too!

Doesn't look like Barnes & Noble has it yet, though...

The order of books the Woman is getting is in UPS's hands and supposed to get here Monday, so she'll mail books out on Tuesday and Wednesday (hopefully all on Tuesday...)

In other news...the Woman stepped in a great big splotch of kitty barf first this morning. She wants to know who did it, but we're not talkin'... but she should be grateful that I hocked it up on the bathroom floor and not on the carpet. Really now.

January 30, 2007

No, I Do Not Want To Go Downstairs And Help Put That Thing Together...

January 28, 2007

Books...books...books... The Woman still has not received the shipment of books she ordered; she didn't place a rush on it like she usually does because she didn't want to use any potential money that would be donate-able, but her client rep assures her the box of books will be here soon. And her client rep is very reliable, so we're thinking they'll get here this week.

While she was pondering and wondering and looking online for good kitty places that proceeds could go to, she sat back and sighed hard and mumbled "I would feel better if someone would tell me for sure of a reputable place" (she really says things like that. I just snort and then lick myself, continuing to ignore her) when this story came on the news about this place that helps out disbaled animals. Her eyes got real big and she smiled and said that maybe someone up there heard and that's why the story came on when it did.

Anyway...this place is called Rolling Dog Ranch Animal Sanctuary and they have lots of cats there. There's lots of dogs and horses, too. She likes it because they give animals a second chance at life, when other places would put them down.

But we all get a voice. I know everyone has their favorite charities and we got so many good ideas when we asked before, but it was hard to pick from all of them, so the Woman took the news story as a sign...but you still get to vote. And she will abide by your wishes.

So...vote! This is my first poll, so be gentle.

All done...

January 27, 2007

It came! I have my very own "Oreo's Posse" sweatshirt!

OK, I'm letting the Woman wear it because she's always cold and stuff, plus her amrs fit in the sleeves, but I think it's pretty spiffy.

See that picture behind her? It's a kitty and a hamster and it says DETENTE. I think that's Latin for "I won't eat you...yet."

January 26, 2007

Sheesh...the Woman said the Younger Human was going to wee in the family room, but I just went down there to tell him that was a really bad idea, because the Man and the Woman would get all bent out of shape and decide he was sick and take him to the stabby place, but all he was doing was playing a video game. Go figure.

January 25, 2007

How To Wake A Person Up:

  1. Sneakily creep up on top of them
  2. Curl up for a few minutes, to let them get used to your weight on their sleeping body
  3. Make sure your nose is cold
  4. When you're sure they're not about to roll over, stick your cold wet nose in their armpit.
  5. Be prepared to fall when they kind of halfway sit up
  6. If they don't sit up, lick the armpit
  7. Run like hell

They'll be awake, and then you can start doing the Yay You're Up And You Can Feed Me! dance.

January 24, 2007

You know it was a really good poop when a person walks out of a room upstairs, covers her mouth and nose with her hands and says "Ohmygawd, what died????"


January 23, 2007

What do you mean, the question "Do you want some blueberry muffins?" was not directed at me?

I want a blueberry muffin.

I want one very much.

Give me a freaking muffin!

January 22, 2007

How was I supposed to know that kitties don't belong in the little office fridge? No one ever told me that before. And if I'm not supposed to try to jump in there, why open it when I'm sitting right in front of it? Really now. It seemed like a good idea, but you'd never know that from the way the Woman yanked me out and said "Kitties don't belong in there."

January 20, 2007

It's The PsychoKitty Caption Game!

Just think of a caption, and submit it in the comments.

If the first kitty playing assigns a name to the kitty in the picture, then that's the name everyone has to use!

January 19, 2007

She wants to know why I was in the bathtub, meowing my little fool head off.

Because it sounds good.


You'd think she'd get the idea, after all these years of asking why I do what I do and why I sing where I sing. But no, she just keeps asking...

January 18, 2007

Oh man, LOOK!

We can all join Oreo's Posse!

Dooooooooods....this is so cool! We can be like our own kitty GANG (ok, club) and make our people wear wicked awesome sweatshirts, and we'll be all BADA$$!!! Plus, it helps Oreo out, so all the better!

I can't wait until it gets here...I know the Woman will wear it for me because she's a sweatshirt whore and she thinks Oreo is ubercute, but I'm gonna try to get her to take a picture of me with it.

Oh and today! Buddah totally scored for us a little while ago. He did the cute thing and got up on his back legs and petted the Woman on the arm and meowed at her. He sais "I'm so hunnnnggggrrrry" with this tiny little voice, and after she looked at me (I know, I'm not supposed to get the good stuff) she said "Ok. You can have some crunchies, and Ill let Max have a taste, too."

And she did! She gave him some, and put down some for me, too. I think he got more than I did, but I was just so happy to get anything that I'm not complaining. Well, not much... it would be nice if she'd that whan *I* ask, but no...

Obviously, she loves him more.

January 17, 2007


WooHoo...the printer that works with the book distributor was able to pull the interior of the book and stick the revised layout in its place, so books ordered through the online bookstores will be the correct version (the profit margin is still a lot better when you order through the Woman; she gets the books at wholesale and because the book biznezzz is what it is, Amazon and Barnes & Noble and every other book store gets them at 55% discount, which squeezes a lot out of the whole thing...) It's still gonna be wicked cool to see it up on Amazon and Books-A-Million and stuff.

Oh, and I gave the Woman a gentle headbutt to the cheek (in a nice way) because she figured out the who PayPal shopping cart thingy. Yes, we are proud; this is a person who can handle the whole book layout and printer and publishing thing, but it was seriously stressful for her to sit here and figure out where to click at PayPal to get a real shopping cart. :::rolls eyes:::

Oh! I had a new Stinky Goodness flavor! Some kinda Catch-a-torry. Buddah decided he just won't eat the new Stinky Goodnesses, so the Woman bought him some Fancy Feast Stinky Goodness, which means I get the new stuff ALL TO MYSELF! But I wouldnt mind the occassional can of Fancy Feast, either. That's just good eatin...

January 16, 2007

It took a little while, but the Woman figured out how to get PayPal to let people order more than one copy of the book at a time...For anyone who ordered more than one, doing it one at a time, I'm really sorry she's so slow. She says PayPal moved things around on her, I think she's just wandering around life with a finger up one nostril and another in her navel, but let's give her the benefit of the doubt... :::rolls eyes:::


Spread the word, if ya would...the more book orders, the more work the Woman has to do, and trust me, she needs to have more to do than bug me all day long.

January 15, 2007

Pre-orders for the Greatest Book Ever Written

It's $12.95, but the pre-order price will pop up as $15.95 for U.S. orders, and $18.95 for outside the U.S. orders...that covers shipping.

The pre-order books will be what the final edition *should* be; what winds up on Amazon and the other online books stores will be missing a short story, a poem, and some pictures. In a couple of months, we'll do a revision so the missing stuff is there.

Since the Woman can order at wholesale prices, more money goes to the kitties when you get copies from her, anyway.

Got a suggestion for where the first royalty check should go? Leave it in the comments!

January 14, 2007

Oh man...we found a Stinky Goodness we really don't like. I mean, you know it's bad when the person opens the can and the kitty backs away in revulsion. Buddah was on the counter tonight when the Woman started to dish out dinner, and he dang near backed himself off the counter and onto the floor. When neither one of us would even taste it, she shrugged it off and said "Well, I won't be buying anymore of that, will I?" I wanted to say "Buy it if you want, but you're the one who'll be eating it," but I didn't since I really wanted her to throw the abomination away and give us something edible.

I'm not stupid, I know when to bite my tongue.

So she opened another can, this time some thing really good, and after we were done (ok, we inhaled, both of us did) she asked, "Was it good?"

That's when I said, "No, we like the taste of fetid armpit roasted over a fire made with cow poop..."

I don't have to be nice until tomorrow...

January 12, 2007

So far we've got to try Nutro canned Stinky Goodness (I had a pouch once and hated it), and Avoderm Stinky Goodness. I liked them both, but Buddah just picked at the Nutro. When the Woman opened the can of Avoderm, he tried to stick his face in the can to start eating before she could get it on the plate. She says there's one more kind we get to try, Natural Balance, and whatever we wind up liking the best is what she'll buy.

The only thing I don't like is that no one is opening cans for us first thing in the morning. Like today the Man came home from passing gas and he went to bed! He didn't feed us! And when the Woman got up she didn't open a can, either, she just sat down and read the paper. She didn't feed us until 10:30! And then tonight when it was time for dinner, she said no, not yet. And she made us wait until 9 o'clock!

Oh, she said there was a little dry food if we were that hungry, but there's only like 5 pieces of dry food in the dish and we didn't want dry food, we wanted the Stinky Goodness to which we are rightly entitled!

You know what it is, she just doesn't want to have to get up in the morning. She's lazy and selfish and too sleepy for her own good. She should be happy to get up and feed us! What else does she have to live for?

Hey! I was just at William's blog, and he's About.com's Cat Blog Of the Week! The Woman says she always thought Fran Syufy, the Guide there, was one smart lady (the Woman does lots of reading there about cat food,) but she also obviously has good taste too!

January 11, 2007

Ha! WE WON! It took gaining some additional girth, even on Buddah's part, but we won.

Here's the thing...Remember when Buddah and I were getting just Stinky Goodness? We were in gastronomical heaven. But then we started barfing alot, chucking hairballs hither and yon and then hither again, so the Woman thought we needed a little dry food in our diets, especially since I would absolutely not allow that brown hairball goop anywhere near me.

So we got some crunchy food, and she cut back on the Stinky Goodness. I was only getting one freaking ounce of the stuff! ONE OUNCE! And she was stingy with the crunchy food, too, so I was starving and Buddah was too...but we both gained weight anyway.


Buddah doesn't look it, but he weighs 14 pounds now. He's all skinny on the sides, but he has a tiny little tummy starting to form. It's not nearly as impressive as mine--mine swings back and forth when I run--but it's enough the Woman noticed it. We both got weighed today, and it made the Woman sad. She blames herself. As well she should.

So the Woman did more research on cat food. And she and the Man discussed our girth while watching Buddah tear around the house like a maniac. And then the Woman disccused our size and activity and other such things with a lady stabby guy.

Apparently kitties can do quite well on a quality dry cat food, but she didn't seem to think what we've been gettng meets the criteria for quality. And boy kitties, she told the Woman, have a greater chance for crystals, and dry food can exacerbate that. And crystals can make it hard to pee. Most kitties are happier on Stinky Goodness. Some prefer crunchy food and that's ok if it's high quality, but for kitties such as ourselves*, Stinky Goodness is the better choice, if it's a good Stinky Goodness.

My Stinky Goodness of choice is, evidently, the equivalent of human fast food. We can live on it and be perfectly healthy, as it is a complete cat food, but there are better foods, the lady stabby guy intimated. If we get just Quality Stinky Goodness, we should both slim down (but not too fast. Losing too much weight too fast can be a Big Bad for kitties) and be happy.

So the Woman is going to put the Foodmobile into reverse, and gradually switch us back to ALL STINKY GOODNESS!

I hope I like the new Stinky Goodness. But if I don't, I heard the Woman tell the Man that the lady stabby guy says that it would be ok to give us the old Stinky Goodness, as long as it was the flavors without high carb grains and the first ingredient is real meat.

*Apparently, kitties such as ourselves develop attitudes and behavior problems if they don't get as much food as they'd like, and we wouldn't be getting as much crunchy food as we would want to make our tummies happy. It all means the Woman is pretty sure we'd turn into raving lunactics, bent on hounding her until she went insane if we thought our tummies were growling...

On the book front: the Woman got the proof copy today and it's all pretty and spiffy, but there was an omission and she needs to see what the printer can do about it. Either way, she should be taking pre-orders in less than a week.

January 09, 2007

WooHoo! Over 200,000 visitors now! I wish I'd paid more attention, we coulda have had a contest again. Dee was the Magic Visitor... Dee gets a virtual purr, without any noses up his nostrils or anything else gross.

Oh, and to naswer a comment from yesterday...my header hasn't changes, but that new nav bar blooger has makes me look all crooked. If the Woman was smarter, we'd move our blogs to our websites, but she's too chicken to install Wordpress or anything. She thinks she'd break something. She's probably right...

Ohhhh and she called Buddah "sweetcheeks" today. I've bit that butt, and I can tell her those cheeks are NOT sweet. Not even close.

January 07, 2007

I think if I hear "sweetie, sweetiekins, booboo, angleface, snookums, baby, babykins, or smoochieface" again I will projectile vomit in every room, on every surface.

How can Buddah stand being called all those things? He LIKES it!

The boy just isn't right...

January 04, 2007

You're Curious, I Know You Are...

It goes to the printer tomorrow.
You're waiting with bait on your breath, aren't you?
Aren't you???

January 01, 2007