Ok, so you guys know the Woman (and Jeter's Mom
and Skeezix's Food Lady
) are walking for boobies in October, right? The last couple of mornings the Woman has gotten up really early (well, early for her...she thinks it's the buttcrack of dawn but the rest of the world has been up for at least an hour, maybe two) so she can get outside and practice her walking. Because, obviously, she doesn't have the whole one-foot-in-front-of-the-other thing down pat yet.
So this morning I decided to be helpful. She wants to get outside before it gets hot, so I figured I would help her get up before it got hot outside. I jumped up on the bed, got really close to her ear, and said, “Wake up!”
Well. She jumped like I'd clipped battery cables to her boobs and fired up the car. And then she got really rude and grumbled, “It's three-farking-thirty in the freaking morning, Max!”
Well, yeah...isn't that what she wants? It was cool outside, I'm sure of it.
So I told her to get up and save the boobies, and doods...she pushed me off the bed. I mean, it wasn't like she shoved me so hard she launched me, but even in slo-mo, my asterisk was on the ground.
I jumped back up and thought about giving her what-for, but I've learned that when she gets all rude like that and uses not nice words, it's pointless. So I curled up on the bed beside her pillow, making sure I was close to her face, and then...doods...I did it.
I totally farted in her face.
That'll teach her.
Doods! The Food Lady is doing an awesome prize thingy for her boob walk.
A custom pet portrait! Look at the one she did with the Grate Jeter Harris on it:
$5 gets you a chance at getting one. Hurry up, though, the deadline is July 5th at noon Pacific.