September 28, 2008

Hey! Look what the People brought home! They went out to get enchiladas, but came back with a spiffy new fountain!

Now. we've had a regular Drinkwell Fountain for forever but it started peeing on the mat, so the Woman declared "This must be replaced!" and the Man said "Yeah, whatever. Feed me first." So off they went, in search of enchiladas and a new fountain.

Since they're kinda cheap, I didn't expect much. Maybe one of those drinking things that squirt a tiny little bit at a time. I certainly didn't expect a PLATINUM fountain!

Now, I know I deserve a platinum fountain, but a part of me is a little suspicious, because when they start being nice, that means bad things are looming. Like trips to the stabby place. Or the withholding of Stinky Goodness.

Whatever. I'm gonna enjoy it for now. And I got to it first! Buddah sat in the living room and watched the Man put it together, but I sat right there to be sure I got the first taste. And you know what? Platinum water tastes better than regular. I drank and drank and drank, until the Woman said I I was going to explode in a furry, watery blob. While I might like the effect of that, I didn't think I'd enjoy the experience.

Maybe Buddah will explode. That I'd probably enjoy.

September 27, 2008

Aw man...we lost another good kitty from the cat blogosphere. Cap'n Nelson John LaPurr set sail for the Rainbow Bridge, and this bums me out mightily.

He was a wicked handsome cat, and a fine writer to boot. I hope it's all right, but I wanted to share with you something he submitted for We Are The Kitties: Read This Or I'll Bite You.

I'm slinky and sneaky, a sleek, naughty cat.
My black tail, black spot, and saucy black cap
Can be glimpsed near the site of crimes galore:
Spilled beads, torn book, and pens on the floor.

I commit planticide with teh greatest of ease,
And my glare brings the other cats to their knees.
If there's a place that shouldn't be seen
It's sure that LaPurr will soon make the scene.

In repose, I am haughty. My basilisk stare
Can chill you right through. You know you don't dare
Cross this kitty or ruffle his fur--
I'm Nelson the Wicked--N.J. LaPurr!

Salute, Cap'n.
May your journey to the Bridge be smooth,
Your sails full
With the sun lighting a nice warm spot all the way.

September 26, 2008

This is my opinion about the stuff the People brought home and gave to Buddah tonight:


Why couldn't it be useful, like shrimp or fish or real live fresh dead cow?



September 25, 2008

....and the winners is...

First the names got written down:

Then the names got cut into strips and folded:

And then instead of a bowl the Woman used a paper bag:

And she stuck her hand in it five times to draw five names:

And we got the winners!

Crew's Views!
The Meezers!

If you didn't leave your email address and you won, please email me at with your snail mail address, so I can make sure the Woman gets your book to you!

Thanks for playing!

September 24, 2008

Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man! Today the people went out to buy fishies for the Man's fish tank (apparently they need replacing. A lot.) and while they were getting the fish the Woman bought Buddah a light-up rolly ball, and since she knew I wouldn't enjoy it, she got me this pad to lay on. And the best part? If she sticks it in the I-can't-wait-more-than-2-minutes-to-eat box, it's all warm! She heated it up for me and then picked me up and stuck it under me, and I was thinking oh, carp, just leave me alone and let me nap but then I settled onto it and OMG! It's nice now but during winter it's going to be awesome! I'm just surprised she thought about me while she was out hunting fishies, because I usually get the short end of these hunting trips.

Don't forget to go to the post below and enter to win the Chicken Soup book!

September 22, 2008


FIVE books to give away!!!

This is Chicken Soup For The Soul: Loving Our Cats and it's 101 of of the best stories from the Chicken Soup For The Soul mondo-big library (I got that off the back of the book, but they don't seem to use good words like "mondo" so I dressed it up a bit for them...I'm pretty sure they'll appreciate that.)

I don't know about your people, but the Woman has been known to read the occasional Chicken Soup book, and they always make her leak. It's not a "oh no, someone went to the Bridge" kind of leak but that squealy, gooey, someone poked her heart kind of leak. And you want your people to leak, too, don't you?

Of course you do.

So...I'm giving away ALL FIVE COPIES! Because I'm generous that way. Oh, and because I said I would. But I would have anyway. Yep. This is like the last couple of give-aways: just leave a comment that says Enter Me, and I need someway to contact you if you win, so your email address would be greatly appreciated, too. This is open to everyone anywhere in the world, except maybe Antarctica, mostly because I don't know if the post office goes there.

Want a taste of what you're trying to win? This is an excerpt from the book, Chicken Soup For The Soul: Loving Our Cats, used with permission.

The Power Of Love
God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the lion.
~Fernand Mery

When I first saw the big gray-and-white cat in our yard, I knew right away that he was a stray. He was fierce-looking— a wounded warrior with a huge head and shoulders
and a badly scarred body.

I started putting out food for him each day, and, even though you could see that he was starving, he wouldn’t come near it if anyone was in sight. Because of one dead eye, which gave him a malevolent appearance, all the neighbors who saw him were afraid of him, even the cat lovers. Winter came, and he still wouldn’t trust me or my family. Then, one day, it happened — a car hit him. I realized this when I saw him dragging himself through the snow to the food dish. I knew then that we would have to humanely trap him. It took some ingenuity, but we finally did it.

He spent a week with the veterinarian getting treated for his injuries, and also being neutered, de-wormed, de-fleaed, having his shots, being bathed, etc. We were eager to bring him home to join our family, but, when we arrived at the veterinarian’s office to take the cat home, we were met by a very serious doctor who told us that we should put the cat to sleep immediately. Our big stray was so ferocious and mean that he would never, ever become tame, let alone a pet.

I wasn’t convinced. I have always had great faith in love’s power to tame even the wildest beast. I thought to myself, I’ve been praying for this cat since the day I first saw him. I’m not giving up that easily!

I told the vet, “I want to try. I’m taking him home.” We named him Paws.

We opened the cat carrier under the bed in the guestroom, where we had put food, water and a litter box — in the farthest back corner so Paws would feel protected — and we left the room. Three days went by, and we did not see any sign of the cat. The only way we knew he was under the bed was that, when any of us walked by the
open bedroom door, we heard deep growling and hissing.

I wanted to touch his heart, to somehow let him know that he was safe and loved. I devised a plan to reach him safely. I put on my husband’s large hard hat and a pair of his welding gloves. Lying on the floor, I slid under the bed toward Paws, with my face to the floor and only the top of my head, protected by the hat, facing him.
I reached out to stroke him, all the while gently repeating over and over again, “Paws, we love you, we love you, we love you.”

He acted like the Tasmanian Devil — snarling, growling, howling, hissing, hitting his back on the underside of the bed as he tried to scratch and bite me. It was scary — but I knew he couldn’t hurt me, so I just kept going. Finally, my gloved hand reached his face, and I was able to stroke him, still telling him how much we loved him.

Ever so slowly, he began to calm down. He was trembling with fear as I continued to stroke him and speak to him in the same soft tone for a few more minutes. Then I slid out from under the bed and left the room.

The first step had been made. I was pleased but wondered how long this campaign would have to go on.

Several hours later, I came back upstairs and went to my bedroom. I noticed a cat on the bed, then did a double-take. It was Paws — all stretched out on the pillows and purring up a storm! I clapped my hand over my mouth. I literally couldn’t believe it.

That dear cat became the love of our household. He often had three of our other cats licking and grooming him at one time, two dogs snuggled up next to him throughout the day, and, best of all, every night he would assume his special place to sleep — on my pillow with his beautiful, scarred, furry face nuzzling mine.

Although Paws finally succumbed to cancer, his legacy — my continued and steadfast belief in the power of love — lives on.

~Barbara (Bobby) Adrian
Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover’s Soul

Go ahead! Enter now! Comments will be closed on Thursday, September 25, 2008 at 8 p.m. Pacific time. Then the Woman will draw 5 names, but I think maybe we'll see if we have a hat this time, instead of a bowl. Or maybe one of their helmets, because we're gonna need a BIG hat because YOU'RE ALL GOING TO ENTER! Right? Right.

September 21, 2008

You guys know how helpful I try to be, right? I am an especially considerate kitty, and every morning I do my best to help the Woman get out of bed. She has a routine: she puts her glasses on, gets up, gets dressed, goes into the giant litterbox room where she does her biznezz and takes some drugs her medications, and sometimes she sticks her head under running water as if that will take care of her head funk. Then she goes downstairs where she opens a can of Stinky Goodness for us.

So, I help. When she opens her eyes I try to get her glasses for her, and while she gets dressed I push the giant litterbox room door open, because she mostly closes it at night (the light from the tiny window in there disturbs her in the Buddah likes to play with the vanity doors) and then when she's doing her biznezz I try to open the box on the wall where she keeps her stash meds. I haven't gotten t open yet, but at least I try.

But this morning. Phffft. This morning I went in to wake her up and she was all "Go away, Max," and "I'm not ready to wake up, Max" but it was past wake up time and I was HUNGRY. So I tried to get her glasses, but I must have been a little too heavy pawed because, dang, those suckers went flying and they wound up on the floor.

She got all "d&^%$%^ you little *$@%#@" on me and kind of shoved my butt out of the way so she could find them, but I know she can't see without them so I jumped down and tried to pick them up but did she appreciate that? No! She just snatched them up and then laid back down and closed her eyes!

Well, I was nice and let her sleep for another ten minutes, and I know it was a full ten because I counted. One, two, three...all the way to ten. Then I poked her eye with my little furry fist and holy carp! Her eyes flew open and this VOICE came out of her all deep and grumbly and POSSESSED like and she said Get. Off. The. Bed. and then her head spun around on her neck three times. I swear! Poor Buddah was so scared that he ran for it, and I can't say as how I blame him, but possessed or not we needed an open can of Stinky Goodness.

So I did what any good kitty would do when his Woman is suddenly possessed. I head butted her right in the nose and knocked whatever was making that deep grumbly noise in her right out. I'm not sure she was possessed by anything like, you know, the devil. I think maybe it was leftover Taco Bell or something.

In any case, that's when she finally got up. And oh yeah, she looked like h-e-double hockey sticks, but still I braved it and opened the giant litterbox room door for her and made sure she swallowed all those pills.

After all my effort, we didn't even get a special flavor of Stinky Goodness. Just chicken. And Buddah doesn't much like chicken.

Truly, she doesn't deserve me.

September 19, 2008

Look! An open window!

Open Window!

This is my favorite time of year, when it's nice and breezy outside and not too hot, and the Woman opens all the windows and lets the fresh air in.

I won't complain too much when it gets too cold for this, because that means it's cold enough to use my Christmas present from last year, and she'll have to turn on the fire thingy.

But for now...I'm loving this.

September 18, 2008

First, the Woman set the papers with all the names on her desk

Wow! It turned out to be a whole bowlful of names!

So the Woman stuck her hand in and dug around until her fat little fingers couls snag one of those pieces of papers.

And then she pulled out a name!

You win the Dewey book!

I'll be emailing you shortly, 'cause I'm not sure I have your mailing address.

Thanks to everyone who entered! And if you didn't win, chin up! I'm expecting FIVE copies of a new Chicken Soup book about CATS soon...and I'm giving those away, too!

September 17, 2008

You know, I think if the people are out all day long doing who knows what, the least they could do is bring home some real live fresh dead shrimp for the kitties. Because you know at some point they at least went by a place where they could buy some. But now, people are selfish and didn't even think of the kitties while they were out doing who knows what.

Don't forget to enter to win the Dewey book! Just add your comment to the post below!

September 15, 2008

A couple weeks ago, the Woman got this email. It said (in people ways) Hey! You wanna read this book about a cat? It's really spiffy and you'll love it and you can even give it away on your blog!

Well, truly, it was meant for me, because who even reads her blog?

Anyway...we curled up this weekend and read all about Dewey the Library Cat. And let me tell you, Dewey was a pretty awesome doood. And pretty tough. And smart...he totally knew how to train people.

If you don't know about him, Dewey was dropped into the Spencer, Iowa library book-return box on a very, very, very cold winter night back in 1988. It was so cold that because the box was metal, it was probably colder IN the box that out of it. The little dood shouldn't have survived the night, but he did, and the People that found him were appropriately in awe of his Awesomeness, and declared HE SHALL BE OUR KING! Or maybe just our library cat. But the thing is, they gave Dewey a chance that whoever was mean enough to shove him in that box wouldn't.

The book is the story of what comes after, how Dewey, just by virtue of his innate awesomeness, pretty much brings a little town together by reigning over the library. We get a glimpse of small town life surrounded by tons and tons of corn, how important something as seemingly innocuous as a library can be so important to a community, and we get to know Dewey, who in his 19 years (19!) trained a whole bunch of people to serve him, care for him, and love him.

Doooods...Dewey had fans all over the world and could have gone anywhere and been anything, but he loved his library life and--get this--he LIKED Sticky Little People! He jumped on their laps WILLINGLY!

You're gonna love this book. It's gonna make your people leak, but in a good way.

And guess what? I'm gonna give this book away! If you want this copy of Dewey, The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched The World, leave a comment that says PLEASE ENTER ME (in so many words, it doesn't have to be exact) and your email address (if you don't want to put your email address in there, that's fine, but it'll mean it'll take me longer to let you know you won...)

Want a little more Dewey? You can become a fan on Facebook, there's a Dewey Look-Alike contest on Flikr, and a slideshow with video.

This is another short giveaway--last comment accepted on Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 8 p.m. Pacific time. This one is open to kitties worldwide! So enter now!

September 13, 2008

Things I liked about today:

  • When I went in to wake the Woman up this morning, she saw me and said "Good morning!" and not "Get the phk off me."

  • We read a book about a cat named Dewey. This will important to y'all next week.

  • After the Woman went for a ride on her rumbly bike she made a lap for me, and gave me tons of chin skritches.

  • Buddah didn't get any chin skritches.

  • I got to sit on the desk right where hot air blows out of the laptop, and that felt very good on my...well, where my goodies used to be.

  • The Woman called me a pervert, but she didn't sound mean about it.

  • She made another lap for me and we watched TV. I let her rub my tummy.

  • When I asked for dinner, she looked at her watch and said "Sure." And then we got chickeny stinky goodness!

  • Buddah still hasn't gotten any chin skritches today.

  • Ok, so he won't sit still for any. But still. I got them all today!

September 11, 2008


First, the Woman put the papers with all the names on the table

Then she cut the names into strips

Then she folded them up and put them in the popcorn bowl

Then she had the Man pick a name, because she was all OHMYGAWD I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO LOSE!

And the Man picked the winner! Guess who gets the Breeze Box?!?!?


I'm gonna email you in a few minutes, dooood...gotta know where to send it!

Thanks for playing, everyone! And in a week or two, there's gonna be another giveaway!!!

September 10, 2008

Hey a favor to ask. There's a newish blog out there, Tripping Over Kitties but the Person needs lots of Mojo, good thoughts, prayers, whatever you can give, for her new dog Hughie. He's in a pretty bad way, was obviously seriously abused before she got him, and needs to pull through so he can enjoy finally having a Forever Home and people who care. So please go off your Mojo and stuff. I tried to post to the Cat Blogosphere but it seems to be down at the moment, but I will as soon as I notice it up.

Breeze Box Giveaway in the post below...go enter if haven't yet.

September 08, 2008

Warrior Needed For The Great Breeze Box War of 2008!

Ok, I'll poseOk, so we still won't used the Breeze Box. But, at least we had the chance to try it without denting anyone's wallet.

And I know there are a few of you out there who would like to try it.


The Woman has procured another box. She can be handy that way sometimes. Rarely. Whatever. She got another box. And we were thinking, since we won't use it and some of you want to try...well, this is your shot.

I'm gonna give it away.

Now...if you want to try the Breeze Box, all you have to do is leave a comment that says PLEASE ENTER ME along with your email address. Nothing else, just that. If you already have a Breeze Box, please refrain from entering. This is for kitties who want to try it and don't have one.

This is gonna be a quick give-away, so enter now! One entry per household, please. Entries will be accepted until 8 p.m. Pacific Time on Thursday, September 11, 2008. Then the Woman will write all the names down, and pick one out of a hat or sock or something.

Enter now!

Edit: US kitties, only please. I'm sorry, but it would cost a fricking fortune to ship it outside the US.

September 05, 2008

We haven't done this in a long time...

It's The Psychokitty Caption with Buddah!

Just think of a caption, and submit it in the comments.
Bonus points for doing it like an LOLcat!
(This is Buddah at about 10-12 weeks old...)

September 03, 2008

Well, the chicken I sweet talked the Woman out of tonight certainly tasted better than her armpit...

September 02, 2008

I don't know why the Woman was so grossed out when I licked her armpit. I'm the one that wound up with a mouthful of yuck.