WHERE YOU BEEN DOOD???

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/19/2015 10:30:00 PM

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I BEEN HERE, DOOD!

Okay, so, maybe not here since I haven't blogged in for-freaking-ever, but here. In the comfy chair. In my house, where I have the fireplace and noms and no real reason to do much of anything other than be awesome.

If you miss me when I go for a while without blogging, you can look to the right and there in the sidebar are the things I'm posting to Facebook. They go from there to Twitter to here, so if you click on them you might need a Twitter account to see the whole thing. I don't know, I haven't tried it without Twitter or Facebook. But it's there!

But the real time hog...work discussions with the Woman. I want to write another book. She says I'm pretty well tapped out. So I said, well how about what you do? I can do that. And she was all, you want to write fiction? And I was like, hellz yeah!

Ok, so we sounded more normal than that.

Or I did. She rarely sounds normal.

So I pitched an idea to her. And she actually liked it! But she's not sure about the marketability of cat-written fiction.

Maybe we could co-write.

I really want to write this. Depends on if anyone would read it.

Whatcha think, doods? Fun-funny idea, or stupid?

Guys!

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/03/2015 04:58:00 PM

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I stole the picture from Jeni's FB page
You guys know Jasper McKitten-Cat and Josie and Maggie and Huggy Bear, right?

They do a lot of stuff to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis--like 50 miles walks and 100 mile bike rides--and in about a month they're doing the MS Challenge Walk. It's kinda like the boobie walk the Woman does, but for MS. Three days, 50 miles.

That's a lot of miles.

They each have to raise $1500 and have a ways to go. So if you want to help in the fight against a pretty awful disease, AND reap a tax deduction AND get good karma, pop on over and donate a few bucks if you can afford it.



If you can't afford a donation, sharing their pages would be just as good!

Almost intercepted it...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/02/2015 06:37:00 PM

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Oh yeah, I said the D word over and over and over...

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/28/2015 12:47:00 PM

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The People have a couple of Dammit Machines set up in the library. Some day I expect they'll morph into Coat Racks, but for now they're Dammit Machines.


Now, they've had the one closest to the window for a long time; the Woman uses it when she's practicing her walking for Boobie things and doesn't feel like practicing outside. That's not often, but she does use it once in a while, especially if it's really cold or raining.

The Dammit Machine closest, that's new. The Man got it for her right after Christmas, because she thought she would enjoy pedaling to nowhere and playing on Facebook while she did it.

Now, last year she went on a bike ride outside on her real bike, and barely made it home before she passed out, so I felt obligated to snoopervise her today while she sat on it and surfed Facebook. I mean, if I didn't, who would be there to mock her in her misery if she did faceplant right off it?

I'm not stupid, though. I watched her feet going around and around, and while I needed to be there for her, I didn't want to get hurt by a giant foot slamming into my head.


So I pawed at the blue plastic tomb, which lives right next to her fake bike, and she reached down to open the door for me. EVen though I was erfectly safe in there, it was still kind of noisy what with her pedaling and the fan blowing on her and the TV going, so I kept talking to her.

Whatcha blabbing about, Big Guy? she asked

Nothing. I was blabbing about nothing. I was just saying dammit over and over, because...dammit, that was a lot of noise.

She was only on it for half an hour this time because she said her feet and butt went numb, but supposedly she's going to get back on it later, because, and I quote, It beats the hell out of housework.

That's how lazy she is, doods. She will get on a Dammit Machine and sweat rather than get off her asterisk and clean anything.

I better go take a nap, so that I'm ready to snoopervise again later.

Damn, my life is hard.

The People went to Disneyland...

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/27/2015 05:18:00 PM

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...and what did they bring back for me?

NOTHING, that's what they brought back for me. I expected some real live fresh dead mouse or duck or even Goofy, but no. Not a freaking thing.

In fact, when they came home with so much nothing for me, I had to give them a good hard stare.

Oh, the Woman said they had a lot of fun once they got to go into the parks and they rode all the rides they wanted and walked a bunch of miles every day, but she didn't eat all the food she wanted because she can't eat a big meal and then walk around, but that was fine. She had a couple of good dinners.

That doesn't do ME any good.

Now see that? That came off a damned big bird. I bet she could have gotten one for me, wrapped it in paper and stuck it in a plastic bag, and then brought it home for me. But she didn't even THINK about doing that.

No, she just went about her business, not considering the kitties left at home, drinking her red stupid drinks (even if they were blue) and riding her rides and talking to new people.

I wasn't expecting much.

Just, you know, something to show she was thinking about me while she was off having fun.

Since I don't have any surprise gifts to show you, here's a kitty you don't want to mess wth,



You know you have the tough when even a bear is afraid of you.

Wow...didn't mean to go so long...

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/18/2015 05:02:00 PM

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...and it'll be a bit more. The Woman and the Man are going somewhere tomorrow morning for a few days, and while I'll have the Grandma, I won't have computer access. 


To entertain you, here's a cat who can't find the exit. Maybe he'll find it before I get back.

Someday you'll stay up there, little woofy

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/03/2015 06:41:00 PM

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Maybe lay off the pooch hooch, though...

Guys. Guys. Guys.*

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/01/2015 12:30:00 AM

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I have not pooped since last year.

Oy.



*Wendell, my man, I still miss you...

Keep going, little dood.

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/30/2014 04:57:00 PM

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You'll catch it in no time.


Gutted, and leaking again...

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/27/2014 02:55:00 PM

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Guys...I am so sad right now, and feel like someone kicked a hole right through my gut.

One of my oldest blogging buddies, Derby, went to the Bridge today. Man, this was so unexpected...like a couple days ago he was okay, and today he's gone. I'm leaking, the Woman is leaking, so I can only imagine how his mom feels and how Ducky is feeling.

He started blogging in 2005, so he's been at it nearly as long as I have. I've known him from the start and have loved him like a bro. I know a lot of you have known him just as long...

I love this picture of him. I stole it off his blog.
Coming on the heels of Beau Beau going to the Bridge, too, this is just a sad, sad end to the year.

Derby, my man, I will see you on the flip side. It has been an honor.

Merry Christmas!

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/24/2014 07:36:00 PM

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When in doubt...

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/22/2014 05:19:00 PM

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...go ahead, slap whatever's in the bag.


Look! It's almost Christmas!

Posted by Buddah | Posted on 12/18/2014 09:26:00 PM

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Ok so Max laid down in front of the fireplace tonight and it was off and he wanted it on so he nagged and nagged and nagged until the Mom got up and turned it on but I kind of wanted to remind him that Santa comes NEXT WEEK and there aren't many more chances to be really good and then I thought no, it doesn't matter, he should know that Santa is coming soon because the Christmas tree is RIGHT THERE and if that doesn't remind him then nothing will, so I decided to mind my own business and just be good all by myself in the other room where the lights are off and Santa can't see me anyway, but then I could feel the warms coming in from the fireplace so I decided it would be ok to go in there and enjoy it because I'm not the one who nagged and it's probably ok to enjoy it when someone else was like a whiny little girl to get his way


This is our little tree this year and it looks a lot like it did last year and there's a big tree in the front room but Max and I ran under it during a game of THoE and tripped on a wire so now the lights don't work and the Mom and the Dad aren't happy about that but we didn't get in trouble and I don't think Santa will hold that against us but if he does I'm blaming Max because he started it.

No, for reals, he did. He was just playing but he totally started it.

I'm leaking...

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/17/2014 06:52:00 PM

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Aw, man, Beau Beau...

His mom just posted on FB that he had a couple of inoperable tumors in his heart, so they decided to let him go onto the Bridge.

I'm glad he's not hurting anymore, but damn...he's been my blogging buddy for a bazillion years along with his sister Angie.

Dood...I'm gonna miss you.

I'll see you on the flipside.

Dammit

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/14/2014 12:41:00 PM

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Ok, so you know I love my crunchy treats, right? Well, a while back the People stopped giving us Temptations and just gave us a few pieces of dry Fancy Feast because of reasons. I was not happy, so they caved last week and gave us my treasured crunchy treats again.

Here's the problem: those were the only crunchy treats I didn't throw up. But after they quit giving them to us, the total amount of barf to be cleaned up every week dropped, and when they gave them back Buddah (they know it's him because they've seen him and before they weren't sure who it was) started barfing more. So they're pretty sure it's the Temptations.

So...unless they can find a crunchy treat we can both eat, it's back to dry Fancy Feast (or some other brand, as long as it's different from what we normally eat so that it's special, and it's back to me not being a happy cat because I freaking love my 11:30 a.m. crunchy treat and my you-can't-have-a-bite-of-my-dinner crunchy treat.

Maybe freeze-dried treats? Anyone ever tried those? They're not crunchy but if they're tasty, it might be worth a try. 

Here. I'll help.

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/03/2014 02:31:00 PM

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Keeping tabs on me

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/02/2014 01:20:00 PM

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Ok, I know a lot of you don't do Facebook and you don't do Twitter, so you're missing out on a ton of my Facebook-posted wisdom. So I sat the Woman down and told her to fix it, find a way for my blog friends to see it all i one place.

Damned if she didn't do it.

Look to the right sidebar. You might have to scroll down a bit. She set it up so my Twitter feed (which I never really used) posts to there. And she set it up so my FB stuff posts to my Twitter feed, so...what you see there is what I post on FB.

There was probably a more direct way to do it, but this covers all the bases.

If you are on FB and want to follow my page (pretty please, I need more followers) just click here and you'll go to my author page.  If you're on Twitter and want to follow there, I'm @PsychokittyMax. But now that it's all right here, you have one-stop Max viewing. Well, unless the widget somehow breaks, and then that's totally the Woman's fault.

Christmas idea for the kitten in your life

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/01/2014 02:14:00 PM

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You're welcome.
(click here to see a better loading version if it's slow)

And Now, A Moment of Buddah...

Posted by Buddah | Posted on 11/30/2014 11:16:00 AM

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Oh! Oh! Oh! It's me, BUDDAH! Max says that since my own blog just gathers dust and people seem to like me and want to hear from me that every now and then he's going to let me pot of his blog and also because he's getting old he worries that when he goes to the Bridge it will just sit here and rot so I have to prove that I am worthy of the Psychokitty blog but the he said not to look forward to it too much because even though he's old he still plans on being here for a good 5 years and maybe more but that's okay because I just want to write something every once in a while.

I'm kind of surprised he picked now to let me write because last night after we had dinner we started to play a game of Thundering Herd of Elephants and I kind of forgot we were playing and I grabbed him with my mighty teeth and dropped him to the floor and then he started growling and we started bunny-kicking and he growled louder and the Dad stomped down the hall and the Mom threw a box of tissues so that it would hit the floor right by me but not on me to make me let go, and then Max ran away and I sat there with a mouthful of Max fur but no one got in trouble because Max started the game and he wasn't hurt, just upset, and I didn't gag on his fur even though I had a lot of it stuck to my tongue.

After that he went to hide in his nook by the fireplace which is now hidden mostly by the little Doctor Who Christmas tree which might be his favorite thing ever and I went to lay under the big Christmas tree in the other room which will be my favorite thing once someone puts down the soft velvety blanket thingy that goes under it.

But yay! I get to join Max's blog! I don't know how often I'll get to write but it's better than nothing! And I still write on Facebook a couple times a week, too!

Just ordered 50 copies of the book

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/26/2014 06:00:00 PM

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All righty. We got the proof copy of the book while the Woman was off boobie walking, and it looked good, so she gave the distributor the thumbs up on it, and it'll start popping up in online books stores.

BUT...it's $11.95 unless it goes on sale and even then it'll be over $10. And for a short book, I think that's too much, but that's what it worked out to. So we ordered 50 copies that should be here in plenty of time for giving as gifts (if you're in the U.S.) and we can price it way lower, so if you want a physical copy of it and not the digital, order it from me.

It's only $6.50 plus shipping, which is $3.00...that's still less than ordering it from Amazon or B&N.

Epistle

Non-U.S. orders are $8.50 US plus $3.00 for shipping. That seemed to be the easiest way to account for the extra costs in shipping. Just use the drop down menu in the Paypal link above to see the International option.

Bonus: I'll pawtograph copies you get from me.

Now, of you read on a tablet and have a Kindle app AND an Amazon Prime membership, you can read it for free. For reals! I highly recommend you get it this way. I still get paid a little bit per borrow and it's a really short book, so you might as well get it for free.