Today, he is 12...

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/15/2017 11:29:00 AM


Hard to believe it. I've been putting up with him for twelve years. But, the people seem to like him, even though he's a bitey sort of cat, and even though he's taken to yelling at them when they don't bend to his will.

Seriously. He throws temper tantrums.

He hasn't gotten any presents yet, but I'm pretty sure he'll get something tonight, after dinner. I'm 99% sure I saw the Woman hide a new nip banana in a drawer the other day, and birthdays are always a prime day for real live fresh dead things.

Happy birthday Buddah Pest. One more year, and you'll be a man.

Okay. I think we're back...

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/12/2017 02:25:00 PM


The Woman picked a bad time to get sick. My goal was to post every day in February, and she had to go an muck that up. But, she feels better now and says she'll make sure I get to blog more often, even if it's not every day.

Yeah, let's not hold out breaths...

But, we are back to work. The first draft on the third Wick book  is done and is being proofed. We know there are some deep rewrites to be made; the story is awesome and fun but the narrative lags in a few places and I want that tightened up (pretty much the same thing happens with every book, so it's not an indication of suckage, just that we write without editing as we go along.) ((This is the royal "we" since we all know I write my books all by myself.)) (((Shuddup.)))

I did learn something valuable while working this week. If you roll onto the keyboard, you can highlight the entire document, and then if your head hits the touch-screen while you're trying to get up, you can delete the whole thing. FOR REALZ.

I almost had a panic attack when the Woman said, "Wonderful, furball, you just erased your entire book." But then she closed it without saving and opened it back up from the file in the cloud, and we only lost like 3 typo corrections.

Really she should know better than to sit here in the comfy chair to work, because I'm always going to sit on the arm of the chair to snoopervise, and experience should tell her that sometimes a kitty accidentally touches the screen. She should be grateful I didn't open another porn link. She still hasn't recovered from the last time.

Well, she says she hasn't. Secretly, I think she enjoyed it.

She's still coughing...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/20/2017 09:13:00 PM


...and it's totally ruining my lap time.

The Woman has a cold

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/19/2017 09:18:00 PM


So today's content is basically just cough,cough,cough,cough,cough,cough,cough.

But I did get the fireplace tonight, so there's that.

It's not even a new argument...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/18/2017 06:15:00 PM


Here's the thing when your protagonist is a cat: he's gonna get attention and affection from the other characters in the story, unless they're all giant gaping asterisks. Being the 3rd book in a series, the Woman and I have had a similar discussion many, many times.


"...while giving me head and chin skritches..."
is not an acceptable way to describe said attention and affection.

Worse, it takes her staring at the sentence for a good hour before it finally clicks and she understands why it looks so very, very wrong.

The first time was forgivable. The second was understandable. But now? HOLY HELL, WOMAN, WHERE DID YOU PUT YOUR SPARE BRAIN?

I mean, at least she's doing the editing necessary, but it's still hard to believe this krap makes it out of her brain and into even the vomit draft.

She earned the back of disrespect

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/17/2017 10:08:00 PM


First, she wouldn't give me an extra snack this afternoon.
Then, she wouldn't let me walk across the new computer.
Then, she wouldn't let me have seconds at dinner tonight because snack was only 4 hours away.

I am shunning her.

More bad words...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/16/2017 07:27:00 PM


I got to hear the Woman mumble ALL kinds of things on the Bad Word List while she surfed online with her iPad, looking at laptops and reviews and prices. She got 16 kinds of grumpy when she realized prices have shot up since last year--the same system she got for $800 13 months ago is $1300 now--but none of the backup thingies she already has will run the software she needs.

One thing she was blown away by...last November she bought a Lenovo X1 Carbon off a guy in a writing group for $50 because some keys fell off and he didn't like it. Same one right now runs $1400 and he got it when it was a new release and paid more than that. She got it and popped the keys back on and hooked it up to a monitor, and yeah, totally spiffy general use computer. The screen is too small for most of the things she does and the keyboard is space out weird so she runs words together, otherwise he would have limped by on it even though it doesn't have enough memory.

Anyway, she kept running into the same laptop in reviews and Best Buy had it for $400+ less than Amazon, so she went and got the last one they had in the local store.

So you know what she's doing right now?


Like, holy frijoles, dood, talk about spoiled and entitled. Worse, I think she used all my book money on it. If I bought the damn thing, I better get to use it.

It's super light so I should be able to handle it just fine. She's gonna give it a good whirl and it might even get to go to Starbucks with her since the old Mac Air needs a new battery. It might even persuade her to sell the old Mac Air. But then she keeps saying she wants to sell the old iMac but it's just sitting on the floor waiting for that to happen. And it has been for like 8 months, at least.

Once this new one is all set, work shall resume.

What goes EEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeeebonk?

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/15/2017 08:17:00 PM


The Woman's laptop at about 4pm today.

Well, her main one. She still has the little MacAir to putz around on, but the screen is small and her eyes are already yelling at her.

In the grand scheme of things, it's not a huge deal...but it'll have to be replaced before the last draft of Wick book 3 is done. She can't run any professional-level software on 4GB RAM, but she can run Word so that we can keep writing.

Still...I think I have a couple new things for the Bad Word List.

From the bottom of my heart...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/14/2017 03:13:00 PM


Why is no one making this for me tonight?

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/13/2017 09:10:00 PM


It's been weeks since I had any.

I think my ears are bleeding

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/12/2017 10:08:00 PM


Ok, well, not for real, but damn.

The Woman watched the Grammy Awards tonight, which is always a bad idea, because she hears all this spiffy music with awesome singers, and then tries to sing along.

I was on her lap, curled up and warm and happy, when all the sudden this NOISE starts.

Doods. I totally growled at her.

Then I jumped down onto the floor and she kept on with the wailing, so I started yelling at her...and she laughed at me! Like it was funny!

I showed her. I left the room and refused to sit in her lap after that.


Posted by Max | Posted on 2/11/2017 10:24:00 PM


It's too far away.

Bring it to me.

Ozoo news

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/10/2017 05:05:00 PM


Ok, I now have 10 paperback copies of Ozoo (I can get more, that's just what I started with.) So if you were waiting for the paperback to get a pawtographed copy, you're in luck!

Paper or Hard back
(It's in the sidebar, too.)

With all the rain we've had lately the Woman has stayed home quite a bit so we got a TON of work done on the 3rd book in The Wick Chronicles, and the vomit draft is pretty well sewn up...but now the discussion (between me, her, and her editor) is whether or not the entire series can shift from YA to General SciFi, because the tone is definitely changing.

The 4th book will definitely depart from YA, but we'd already planned for it to be the start of its own series, Wick After Dark. Yeah, it will not be for kids. The bulk of the outline is done, but the actual writing won't start until Book 3 is at least in formatting. So no asking to read it yet, Mrs. Undr, it's only think-stuff on virtual paper.

In other news, the Woman has raised enough money for St. Baldrick's that she has to record herself on video singing, so I'm being tortured while she tries to remember how to play the guitar (it's been a while.) The guitar part isn't bad; she just does chords and she's not horrible at it, just kinda slow on going from one to another because it doesn't feel natural anymore. What hurts is the singing. You people are going to be so tortured.


Posted by Max | Posted on 2/09/2017 09:13:00 PM


My friend Diane sent me a really cool fridge magnet that looks like me!

This is it up close:

And the message is totally on point.

No, really.

Feed me.


Posted by Max | Posted on 2/08/2017 07:18:00 PM


All right, tonight I wandered into the living room, and since there was no fire going, I tried to turn it on by myself. The switch is hard, though, and even after all these years I can't budge it. The Woman saw, though, and got up to turn it on for me.

"There ya go," she said as she sat back down.

My mission accomplished, I turned around and head to the back of the house for a nap. I heard a lot of bad words as I went down the hall.

I wonder what she was upset about.

Yeah, still doing the same thing...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/07/2017 08:59:00 PM


There isn't a picture because it would look dang near identical to last night. This evening has been spent in front of the fire, which I got because after dinner I asked nicely. This resulted in the Woman taking her pants off, but I can't have everything, I suppose.

And dangit, I deserve the nice, warm fire tonight. All last night the wind blew so hard that the thingies outside the bedroom windows banged against the house, and it kept me awake all night. I didn't want the Woman to worry--she has this weird hearing thing where she hears music and stuff that isn't there and she's almost convinced that someone is living it the attic, but she's not mad since they're not too noisy and don't take things out of the garage refrigerator--so I woke her every 10 minutes to let her know what the noise was.

She did not appreciate my efforts, not one bit.

Oh, and in other news, I will have a few paperback copies of Ozoo on Thursday, for anyone who wants a pawtographed copy.

She said it wasn't cold...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/06/2017 06:56:00 PM


...but she still turned the fireplace on for me.

Once I've baked enough, I'll chill in my mancat cubby for a while, and then go back for more. This is one of the perks of being an old guy. I get the fireplace most of the time when I ask, and they aren't any complaints except on the day when the Woman sees the gas bill.

Yeah, it's been high the last couple of months. Like, she could make her car payment for 1.5 months on it. But it's only for the rest of this month most likely, and then it really will be too warm to turn it on.

Although...she'll be bald a month from now and might need the fire to make up for the loss of hair warms.

Oh, and I still haven't gotten to play with the toy I wanted. Every time I look for it, Buddah has his asterisk covering it up. I may never see it again.

He looks so comfy

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/05/2017 09:18:00 PM


Doesn't he?

He's snoozing away, jammed into the corner of the recliner, all warm and happy and HE'S HIDING THE TOY I WANTED! He saw me with it, snagged it, took it onto the chair, and laid down on it. He didn't want to play with it, he just didn't want ME to play with it.

Do I look happy?

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/04/2017 09:53:00 PM


'Cause I'm not.

See that thing in the background? The black thing? Well, inside that black thing is another thing, and it has strings on it and the Woman pulled it out of a closet today, for like the first time in 10 years. To "play" it.

Doods. That was not play. She tortured the poor thing. The sounds that came out of it were not unlike the wailing one might expect after a rousting bout of water boarding.

To add insult to injury...she tried singing.

Guys...every once in a while she sits here and sings, and I have to jump on her lap and put my paws over her mouth to stop her. With the THING there, I couldn't do that. So she sat there torturing that poor thing, and tortured me while she was at it.

Buddah went and hid in the back of the house. I can't really blame him.

When she was done, she put it back into the black thing, looked at her fingers, and said "Damn, that hurts."


Worse, it didn't go back into the closet.

I think she's gonna do it again tomorrow.

Oh, sure...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/03/2017 10:25:00 PM


The stupid little Thumper doll that lives on top of the desk gets his own Doctor Who shirt.

What about me? Where's my cool shirt? Or even like a bed covering or something. Everyone else around here has cool Doctor Who things to wear but all I have is stuff to look at. AND THE WOMAN THINKS ALL OF IT IS HERS!

It's not fair.

When she's not looking, I'm totally going on Amazon and buying myself a TARDIS bed.