Look! It's almost Christmas!

Posted by Buddah | Posted on 12/18/2014 09:26:00 PM

9

Ok so Max laid down in front of the fireplace tonight and it was off and he wanted it on so he nagged and nagged and nagged until the Mom got up and turned it on but I kind of wanted to remind him that Santa comes NEXT WEEK and there aren't many more chances to be really good and then I thought no, it doesn't matter, he should know that Santa is coming soon because the Christmas tree is RIGHT THERE and if that doesn't remind him then nothing will, so I decided to mind my own business and just be good all by myself in the other room where the lights are off and Santa can't see me anyway, but then I could feel the warms coming in from the fireplace so I decided it would be ok to go in there and enjoy it because I'm not the one who nagged and it's probably ok to enjoy it when someone else was like a whiny little girl to get his way


This is our little tree this year and it looks a lot like it did last year and there's a big tree in the front room but Max and I ran under it during a game of THoE and tripped on a wire so now the lights don't work and the Mom and the Dad aren't happy about that but we didn't get in trouble and I don't think Santa will hold that against us but if he does I'm blaming Max because he started it.

No, for reals, he did. He was just playing but he totally started it.

I'm leaking...

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/17/2014 06:52:00 PM

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Aw, man, Beau Beau...

His mom just posted on FB that he had a couple of inoperable tumors in his heart, so they decided to let him go onto the Bridge.

I'm glad he's not hurting anymore, but damn...he's been my blogging buddy for a bazillion years along with his sister Angie.

Dood...I'm gonna miss you.

I'll see you on the flipside.

Dammit

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/14/2014 12:41:00 PM

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Ok, so you know I love my crunchy treats, right? Well, a while back the People stopped giving us Temptations and just gave us a few pieces of dry Fancy Feast because of reasons. I was not happy, so they caved last week and gave us my treasured crunchy treats again.

Here's the problem: those were the only crunchy treats I didn't throw up. But after they quit giving them to us, the total amount of barf to be cleaned up every week dropped, and when they gave them back Buddah (they know it's him because they've seen him and before they weren't sure who it was) started barfing more. So they're pretty sure it's the Temptations.

So...unless they can find a crunchy treat we can both eat, it's back to dry Fancy Feast (or some other brand, as long as it's different from what we normally eat so that it's special, and it's back to me not being a happy cat because I freaking love my 11:30 a.m. crunchy treat and my you-can't-have-a-bite-of-my-dinner crunchy treat.

Maybe freeze-dried treats? Anyone ever tried those? They're not crunchy but if they're tasty, it might be worth a try. 

Here. I'll help.

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/03/2014 02:31:00 PM

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Keeping tabs on me

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/02/2014 01:20:00 PM

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Ok, I know a lot of you don't do Facebook and you don't do Twitter, so you're missing out on a ton of my Facebook-posted wisdom. So I sat the Woman down and told her to fix it, find a way for my blog friends to see it all i one place.

Damned if she didn't do it.

Look to the right sidebar. You might have to scroll down a bit. She set it up so my Twitter feed (which I never really used) posts to there. And she set it up so my FB stuff posts to my Twitter feed, so...what you see there is what I post on FB.

There was probably a more direct way to do it, but this covers all the bases.

If you are on FB and want to follow my page (pretty please, I need more followers) just click here and you'll go to my author page.  If you're on Twitter and want to follow there, I'm @PsychokittyMax. But now that it's all right here, you have one-stop Max viewing. Well, unless the widget somehow breaks, and then that's totally the Woman's fault.

Christmas idea for the kitten in your life

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/01/2014 02:14:00 PM

5


You're welcome.
(click here to see a better loading version if it's slow)

And Now, A Moment of Buddah...

Posted by Buddah | Posted on 11/30/2014 11:16:00 AM

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Oh! Oh! Oh! It's me, BUDDAH! Max says that since my own blog just gathers dust and people seem to like me and want to hear from me that every now and then he's going to let me pot of his blog and also because he's getting old he worries that when he goes to the Bridge it will just sit here and rot so I have to prove that I am worthy of the Psychokitty blog but the he said not to look forward to it too much because even though he's old he still plans on being here for a good 5 years and maybe more but that's okay because I just want to write something every once in a while.

I'm kind of surprised he picked now to let me write because last night after we had dinner we started to play a game of Thundering Herd of Elephants and I kind of forgot we were playing and I grabbed him with my mighty teeth and dropped him to the floor and then he started growling and we started bunny-kicking and he growled louder and the Dad stomped down the hall and the Mom threw a box of tissues so that it would hit the floor right by me but not on me to make me let go, and then Max ran away and I sat there with a mouthful of Max fur but no one got in trouble because Max started the game and he wasn't hurt, just upset, and I didn't gag on his fur even though I had a lot of it stuck to my tongue.

After that he went to hide in his nook by the fireplace which is now hidden mostly by the little Doctor Who Christmas tree which might be his favorite thing ever and I went to lay under the big Christmas tree in the other room which will be my favorite thing once someone puts down the soft velvety blanket thingy that goes under it.

But yay! I get to join Max's blog! I don't know how often I'll get to write but it's better than nothing! And I still write on Facebook a couple times a week, too!

Just ordered 50 copies of the book

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/26/2014 06:00:00 PM

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All righty. We got the proof copy of the book while the Woman was off boobie walking, and it looked good, so she gave the distributor the thumbs up on it, and it'll start popping up in online books stores.

BUT...it's $11.95 unless it goes on sale and even then it'll be over $10. And for a short book, I think that's too much, but that's what it worked out to. So we ordered 50 copies that should be here in plenty of time for giving as gifts (if you're in the U.S.) and we can price it way lower, so if you want a physical copy of it and not the digital, order it from me.

It's only $6.50 plus shipping, which is $3.00...that's still less than ordering it from Amazon or B&N.

Epistle

Non-U.S. orders are $8.50 US plus $3.00 for shipping. That seemed to be the easiest way to account for the extra costs in shipping. Just use the drop down menu in the Paypal link above to see the International option.

Bonus: I'll pawtograph copies you get from me.

Now, of you read on a tablet and have a Kindle app AND an Amazon Prime membership, you can read it for free. For reals! I highly recommend you get it this way. I still get paid a little bit per borrow and it's a really short book, so you might as well get it for free.



I'm CONSIDERATE, dammit!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/25/2014 10:36:00 AM

10

All right, so the Man was the one to feed us this morning, while the Woman stayed in bed snort-snoring and drooling on her pillow. I ate, had some water, hit the litter box, and then went into the bedroom and crawled under the bed, as I do most mornings because it's a spiffy napping spot.

As I do every morning, once I was under the bed I meowed a few times, because it's polite to announce your presence.

So I meowed and then heard the Woman grumble, "Yeah, I didn't miss that at all, furball."

Excuse me?

I WAS BEING POLITE! I let her know where I was so that when she finally rolled her asterisk out of bed she wouldn't be all Where's Max? Where's the kitty? as she lumbered up and down the hallway, slapping those giant feet on the fake wood floor, worried that I somehow got out or someone broke in and catnapped me.

I was thinking of her, and that's what I get. "I didn't miss that at all, furball."

And she wonders why I did't act 52 kinds of happy to see her when she got home yesterday.

Cripes.

I'll be right here until Monday...

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/19/2014 08:13:00 PM

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The Woman is leaving tomorrow morning to go meet up with DKM and the rest of their team to walk for boobies, so I figured this spot right by the fire is a good place to wait. If the Man sits out here and watches TV, maybe he'll let me get online to see if she posts any pictures on Facebook, but I won't be able to blog or anything until she's back.

And that's all right. It's all for the boobies.

BOOBIES!

Oh! And look what the Man got yesterday.


Even he's getting tattoos that aren't of me!

It's pretty cool, though, and he didn't even cry.

See ya guys next week! My Ask Max Monday column will be a little late, but don't let that stop you from asking questions! You can leave them in the comments on this week's column, or email me at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

Because Amazon is freaking fast...

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/15/2014 11:04:00 PM

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The print version probably won't be available for at least a week, maybe two; we still have to see a proof copy and then approve it before it even goes into the distribution channels...but if you read books digitally, Amazon has it.

We haven't actually seen the digital version yet because it went live so fast, so hopefully there are no bugs to work out.

And Buddah did write the foreword...as only Buddah can.

The End Is Near...

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/11/2014 02:13:00 PM

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Well, sort of. The end of the writing of the book, that's what's near. It's pretty much in the can; the editor lady has poked through it and declared it acceptable and the Man has poked through it looking for typos, and a friend of the Woman has poked through it because she whines if she doesn't get to read stuff early and says the editor lady is bat crap crazy for the major cuts she wanted, and I'm just sitting here waiting for the humans to get their chit together and turn the manuscript into a real book.

The only real hiccup is that there is no cover yet. Well, nor a title. It's had a working title from the very start, but it no longer fits the book.

That'll all come together over the weekend, I think.

In any case, 90% of it is done, it's just the particulars to be dealt with...and it should be available in plenty of time for Christmas.

Now, one thing I ask you guys about before was if you wanted Buddah to write a chapter...and we started out thinking it would work and it would be funny, but it honestly did not fit the format of the book, so in lieu of that he wrote the forward. I've never had a forward before, I don't think. I hope you guys like it, because he's 12 kinds of excited about it.

So, soon. There will be a bouncing baby book soon, and maybe I'll have more time to actually blog more often.

This is why Doctor Who calls people "Pudding Brains" now...

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/06/2014 04:57:00 PM

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STAY ON THE FREAKING BIKE AND TURN IT AROUND!

You can't run faster than an elephant but that rumbly bike probably can.

Cripes, people...

Dona Nobis Pacem ... Blog Blast for Peace 2014

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/04/2014 12:00:00 AM

16


It's the big Onety-One!

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/26/2014 10:17:00 AM

26

11

Holy carp.

This blog is 11 today.


I think this is how I'd like to celebrate.

Spending all day watching Doctor Who reruns. But...I have a book to finish. It's THIS CLOSE, doods! First the book was short, then the book was very long, then we cut a bunch of stuff out because it was stuff I'd written about too many time before, so now it's short again, but it works better that way. So this weekend we're tightening a few things up, then another pass through, then it goes to the editor lady.

I was asked on FB if Buddah gets a chapter. We still don't know. He's been working on something but because of the format of this one, we're not sure it will fit. The editor gets the final say, so we'll see. At this point it's only about a 30% chance...the Woman says she wants to include Buddah but it's hard to make him being in it make sense.

Not that he would make sense anyway.

But yeah. TODAY THE BLOG IS ONETY-ONE!

Quickly, quickly, time is running out!

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/23/2014 03:05:00 PM

3

There's not much time left to make the Younger Human slap on a dress and go singing in public.

The bigger thing, though, is the rebirth of a performing arts group in Northern California, something he's heavily involved in. He does a lot of acting in NorCal, and making theater accessible to everyone is important to him.

Face it, the arts are important. It's not just about watching a play; it's about engaging the creative brain, lighting the match that gets the fire of imagination going.

And then there's the thing personal to me...in the first production, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, he has the lead.

So it's a win all the way around. Donate and help get this company going again, with the bonus that he has to dress up and sing. The fundraiser isn't going as well as hoped, and time really is running out. AND I WANT TO SEE HIM SING IN A DRESS!!!

Score!

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/21/2014 11:56:00 AM

9

After being asked (politely) 63 times this morning, the Woman oozed out bed and shuffled into the kitchen to open a can for us. She then turned around and shuffled back down the hall, and oozed herself right back into bed, because Food O'Clock and Get Up O'Clock for her are two different things.

Well...about fifteen minutes later the Man woke up and came out into the living room, and it was an opportunity we couldn't pass up. We asked him (politely) for breakfast, and since he didn't know the Woman had just fed us (the plate on the floor was no clue, since it could have been a plate from last night), he nicely obliged.

Being all full and warm, I got sleepy, so I crawled under the bed to take a nap, and Buddah got on the top of the tower in the bedroom to sleep.

Then later, when the people were both up, I came out and asked for a snack, and because I was so nice about it I got a few bits of crunchy food. And that's when they started talking and discovered we'd played the Man for extra foods this morning.

Heh.

Best part...no one got mad. They thought it was funny and declared us to be sneaky and smart and totally deserving of the extra noms.

The other shoe did drop, though. From now on, after our nighttime snack they're going to pick the plates up and stick them in the sink if the dishwasher is already full, so that they'll know that if there's a plate on the floor, the kitties have already eaten.

Still. Score one for the kitties.

We totally rule this place.

At least I didn't pee myself...

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/18/2014 07:57:00 PM

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All right, so early this morning I was being nice and quiet, curled up by the Woman's head because it was not quite food o'clock, and besides, the Man went to pass gas last night which meant he was going to be the one to open cans for us this morning. Buddah was asleep on the tower in the corner, his feet sticking straight up like a corpse, with his tail hanging over the side.

We we all nice and relaxed, sleepy-warm and happy.

Then out of nowhere, the Woman snorted so loud and so hard that Buddah jumped, I jumped, and she grabbed her own face and said several things off the Bad Word List.

But guys...I'm not really sure she even woke up. Her eyes stayed closed even while the heels of her hands were pressed hard onto her cheeks, and after a minute she sighed and her hands went back down, and she was definitely asleep.

I checked to make sure I hadn't peed--I couldn't care less if I whizzed by her head, I just didn't want any on my furs--and then jumped down, lest she go off like a shotgun again.

I didn't even see Buddah jet out of the room, but he must have because he was in the front room when I got out there and I had no explanation for him about what had just happened other than maybe she had tried to eat her own head from the inside out and the release of all that hot hair that swirls around inside her skull created a vacuum.

Tonight, I'm sleeping in the other room.

Wow.Just...wow.

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/14/2014 06:27:00 PM

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I am kind of speechless...

Dear Max, 

 I had to write to you because something occurred to me this afternoon and sharing it feels important. My son was always a non-reader, to the point that his grades were horrible. He hated homework, because that required he read; he hated classwork, because that required he read. We tried everything, to no avail, and because we are dedicated readers, this was heartbreaking. Then in 8th grade he was issued an ultimatum by a teacher he respected: read a book cover to cover and write a report, or you will be kicked off the baseball team and you will not pass English. That meant he would not graduate from middle school, and would not start high school with his friends.

I had a copy of your first book and, hoping that he would at least give it a try, gave it to him. He balked, because it meant doing his least favorite thing, but once he started it, he realized he could read it in 5 minute chunks, and that made all the difference in the world. It took him over a week, but he finished it and wrote his report. After that, he asked for your second book.

It was a springboard. Once he realized that every book out there wasn't a literary hurdle that he couldn't hope to jump over, he was willing to give other books a fair try. He started with short young adult books and worked his way up, until he found a love of storytelling I never could have imagined. The boy who thought reading was "stupid" now reads every day, and most recently finished Stephen King's Dark Tower series.

What prompted me to write? All those dots connected this afternoon, because he came home from school with a letter from his counselor: my once-stubborn non-reader is graduating from high school a semester early, and with honors.

This would not have happened without two very important things. One was a teacher who cared enough to put him in an uncomfortable position. But the other was having these wonderful books written by a cat who would take over the world if it didn't mean missing a few naps and meals of real live fresh dead things.

I cannot thank you enough, And please, share this with your friends and fans. You're touching the lives of real people, and I want them to know.

Best wishes,
Tereska Walsh

Totally am going to use this to get myself some extra crunchy treats...

Guys. GUYS! This HAS to happen!!!

Posted by Max | Posted on 9/30/2014 09:29:00 PM

3

I know I've asked you guys to donate to stuff before, but this time, I am BEGGING. Ok, so you know the Younger Human gets up on a stage in front of people a lot and tells lies to entertain them? It's like TV, but right there in front of people. And people really seem to love it.

Well, right now he's the president of the board of directors of Solano Repertory Theatre Company, and they are currently without a home theater, but they have a play to put on and to do it they have to rent the space. They're doing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and there are a bunch of expenses involved aside from the rent.

So what they're going is an Indie GoGo fundraiser...any donation, big or small, will go a long way but this is what has to make this happen:

THE YOUNGER HUMAN WILL PUT ON A DRESS AND SING I FEEL PRETTY IN PUBLIC FOR EVERY $1000 RAISED.

OhMyCod OhMyCod OhMyCod the world needs to see this.


PleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePlease help.

I may wet myself with joy just thinking about it.