Happy Blogoversary to me!!!

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/26/2016 09:17:00 AM



We started this blog 13 years ago, when the Man and the Woman and I were living in Evil, Ohio, where there were tons of sticky people outside my window and lots of red stupid drinks being consumed.

In that time we engaged in the M-Word way too many times, Buddah came to live with me, a bunch of you helped write 2 cat blogger books (we totally need to do that again!), I bought a house (don't let the people fool you, I know I paid for it), and I've met so many super cool doods. A lot of the cats who started blogging along with me have gone onto the Bridge--and I miss them like crazy--but we'll see 'em again on the flipside. So many new kitties have taken up blogging that there's no way to keep up with them all.

And to think...when I started, I couldn't find any others. Now look at you all.

Thirteen years, doods.

Thanks for making it awesome and fun.

Finally...the hots might be over

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/24/2016 07:03:00 PM


The last few days the People have been able to open doors and windows to let the fresh air in, which is nice because I was getting pretty tired of the hots.

I'm ready for cool days, and even more ready for the fireplace, which has only been turned on twice lately, and then just for a little bit to burn the smell off.

Apparently, the fire gets all stinky over summer. Who knew?

Even better...there are only 2 months until Christmas. Which means it's even less time until the People set up my Doctor Who tree, so that I can celebrate Whovimas, too.

Like every other year, I'm asking Santa to not bring me anything but to take extra stuff to the shelters for the kitties and woofies who don't have a forever home, I don't play with toys anymore, anyway, except for the occasional romp with a good nip banana (and I have a supply of them), and I have all the beds and stuff a guy could ever want, so it would be a wasted effort on his part.

And we have a new goal this holiday season...you know how we try to fill the back of the HHR with toys for Toys for Tots? Well, this year we have the CX5 and the back is way bigger, so we're hoping to fill that. That's where the money goes when you buy my books: toys, stuff for shelter pets, and various charities.

Gotta admit, I'm excited to see if we can fill the CX5 this year.

Maybe, Possibly, In the Can

Posted by Max | Posted on 10/17/2016 05:18:00 PM


Stylish picture, just because
I don't know what that means but I heard the Woman say it last night. She said it as she hit SEND on an email sending the next book to the editor. That doesn't mean it's 100% done, but it's done enough to show it to the person who will say how awful it is. It's also done enough to start the graphics train moving, finding cover art and picking a spiffy font, and done enough to try to figure out what the blurb will be.

I leave that part to the Woman, and she hates it. She says if she could condense something to a paragraph, she wouldn't be writing book-length things.

While we're waiting on the editor, we're plowing ahead into book three. We have the story, some notes (which will be expanded) and know what's going to happen. It's just the process of getting it written. Sure, no biggie, right?

I think the rest of this month will be notes and stuff, and the actual writing will start in November. The Woman is thinking about doing NaNoWriMo with it this year, even though she loses a week to the 3 Day Boobie Walk. We can write enough words in a day to cover that, I think. It works out to around 2700 a day for three weeks, and it's not unusual for us to get 5,000+.

Now, when she works alone, the Woman is lucky to hit 1000. She needs me. But I bet you anything, at the end of November when we're way over 50,000 words, she keeps the winner's certificate.


Posted by Max | Posted on 10/07/2016 09:44:00 AM


Okay, so the Woman got up at a normal people hour and fed us at 7:20 this morning. Now, normally after I eat in the morning I go take a nice 4 hour nap in order to prepare myself for the nice 3 hour nap I enjoy most afternoons. But this morning I decided to stay up, and I sat on the end table near the Woman's comfy chair and stared at her.

That's it. I sat there and stared.

I was still for a good half hour, until she was finally unnerved enough to tell me to go find something better to do. And that seemed perfectly reasonable, so I jumped to the chair's headrest and started meowing in her ear every 6.35 seconds. Right about the point I knew she was getting irritated, I jumped down, sat in front of the treat machine, and politely requested that she remove a few for me.

Sure, I can get stuff out of it myself, but why? I already know that if I ask nicely, she'll do it for me. And she did, she got up and put down a handful of the dry Fancy Feast food that serves as filler in the treat machine. And since she was up, she decided to get her own breakfast.

Well...I was not going to eat dry krap if there was a chance at something better. So I followed her, and reminded her I was there, and I would like to know what she was planning on having, just in case it was something I would like a taste of. That's all I expect, a tiny taste. And I was filled with disappointment when it looked as if she was going to have the same oatmeal bar she usually does, but she looked down and said, "You're still hungry, aren't you?"

Now that you mention it...

So before she had her own breakfast, she opened another can and gave me a spoonful from it, and gave Buddah a spoonful, and it was the kind with gravy and chunks of meaty wonder. It was awesome.

And now I can go take my nap, which is over an hour late, but totally worth it. While I sleep, she gets to go through my newest manuscript to look for typos and chit.

It's a hard life.

Oh, and I have more hardbacks of The Emperor, if you want a pawtographed copy. I have paperbacks, too.

Link to purchase is in the sidebar.

If you don't want the pawtograph, Amazon is the next best place to get it.

Royalties from this book (from release date to around December 1st...I won't actually get paid by then but I'll know the amount and can borrow from the Woman) will go toward buying Christmas toys for Toys For Tots...and we have a new car to load, and the load space is way bigger than the HHR!

My brain is melting...

Posted by Max | Posted on 9/26/2016 05:53:00 PM


I can't think of any other reason for forgetting to do my Ask Max Monday column last week. We've been working a lot, some days spending 12+ hours writing, but I didn't think it was making me forget what day or even what week it is, though. Seriously, if you had asked me a couple of days ago where the column was, I'd have sworn I uploaded it.

This week's is there, though.

Last night we finished working a little early so the Woman decided to go to bed at a normal-people hour. She was almost asleep, but a noise outside startled her, so she was wide awake. And it happened again... =this= close to being asleep, and then =bam= a noise outside. So she gave up, got out of bed for a few minutes, and waited until she was good and sleepy to go back to bed.

Lookit that face. Who can be made at that?
Now, I have a habit of talking to her at intervals during the night, so she closed the door, hoping for some peace and quiet. This was about 2:30, and by 3:30 she was finally asleep.

Good for her, right?

Well, I thought so, too, and at 4:40 I crept out from where I'd been hiding under the bed and was going to congratulate her on a solid hour of sleep, but when I jumped onto the bed near her head, she kinda lost her chit and had a little bit of a pretend heart attack.

Well...it's not my fault she didn't check under the bed before she closed the door.

And it's not my fault she's so delicate that she has sleeping issues.

I was gonna be NICE, dammit, and all it got me was kicked out of the bedroom.

Well, rush it is, then...

Posted by Max | Posted on 9/22/2016 03:46:00 PM


We kinda sorta sold out of the hardback books yesterday, but the Woman saw it coming and placed an order for more the night before. We were worried because it took freaking forever to get the hardbacks in in the first place, but she paid an extra $13 for rush service, and doods...rush service must work, because the books are shipping today. Which means we'll have them probably by Monday, because they were sent from Las Vegas and that usually doesn't take too long.

We've also been working really hard...book two has elevated itself from Vomit Draft to First Draft status, and it's gotten to the point where we're letting a beta reader have a crack at it, because we need fresh eyes looking for mistakes and seeing if there's something missing. The Woman worries that there is, because this thing went from notes to Vomit to First Draft in about six weeks, and that's pretty fast for us.

Thing thing is, we started this one with some pretty comprehensive notes and knew exactly what the story was and where it was going. The whole concept has been simmering in the backs of out brains for a couple of years, so it's not like we pulled the story out of our asterisks. We even have notes for the next one, and ideas for any that might follow. So she's probably worried for nothing. Sometimes a book damn near writes itself.

Actually, that's probably because it's my book. Her books tend to take a lot of time because she's limited by that puny human brain.

The thing that has surprised both of us with book one?


I mean, seriously. More than one of you has asked about a more adult theme for future books with the Emperor...and that kind of took us by surprise. This was always intended to be a teen/young adult thing, but that doesn't mean that there can't be a grown up story to spring from it. If we do that, it probably won't be considered part of The Wick Chronicles, but a stand alone kind of thing. We're not discounting it.

That said, we're pushing right up against the edge of the YA genre this time, I think. Nothing graphic, but there are more mature elements to the next story, because face it: there are teenagers in Wick's world, and two of them are planning a future, so...there has to be some realism. Not to mention the King and Queen. They might be old married grunts but they still like each other.

And we still don't have a title. That might wind up being the hardest part of all.

My new Facebook cover image. I kinda like it.

I got some books

Posted by Max | Posted on 9/20/2016 05:38:00 PM


All righty, it took freaking forever, but I finally have a shipment of both paperback and hardback copies of THE EMPEROR OF SAN FRANCISCO.

If you would like a pawtographed copy, this is how you get it.

Paper or Hard back
It's probably cheaper for you to get it on Amazon, especially if you're not in the U.S., but if you want my sterling signature and paw print, this is the only way.

If you were one of the people who asked the Woman to hold a copy or two and arranged to pay via check*...don't use this link. You're already covered.

And y'all know how we were talking about the vomit draft? Or maybe the Woman did that on her blog, I dunno. But by working 14-16 hour days a whole lot of the last couple of months, we've gotten past the vomit draft and the first draft of Book 2 of The Wick Chronicles is actually written and will be going to beta readers soon. We know it need some work--we're at that Well I like it but I know something is missing stage--but dang, doods, there's a chance it could be out by Christmas.

The problem is we have no title. We always have at least a working title. But not this time.

*She's only doing this for people she has a personal relationship with, because she knows where they love and can go break some of their toys if they don't pay.

Okay, not really, but you can see what I mean, right?

A request...

Posted by Max | Posted on 9/16/2016 11:33:00 AM


The Woman has been away watching that Damned Dogs Butters and his sister Lady, so I haven't been able to get online much, because the Man just doesn't turn the laptop on for me that often. But, today we're making do, because it's important.

Y'all remember Ginger the Cat, right? I still miss her. She was awesome. And so are her mom and dad, Rita and Fred.

Bluntly... Fred has cancer. It's aggressive. And because it's draining him, he can't drive to appointments and the like, and it's costing an arm and a leg to get him there. Right now he's in the hospital trying to get stabilized so he can go home, but holy hell, this is going to be a hard, hard fight, and the last thing they need to worry about is the costs of just getting him where he needs to be.

Insurance isn't going to pay for it. And it can cost over $600 just to get him to a single appointment.

So. Jasper McKittencat's people started a Go Fund Me page so that we can all pitch in. Any little bit will help.

These are truly amazing people, and if I could, I would actually go outside in order to help them, but this is the best I can do.

Click here to donate.

And doods...thank you.

I'm just gonna sit here and stare...

Posted by Max | Posted on 9/08/2016 10:49:00 PM


...until she gets up and opens a can for me.
I will win.
I always do.


Posted by Max | Posted on 9/03/2016 03:34:00 PM


What do you want Wick to look like?
There's your answer.

But I want it NOW...

Posted by Max | Posted on 8/31/2016 09:43:00 PM


See the shiny TARDIS?

It's mine.

The Woman ordered it a couple of weeks ago, and said it was for me, but I won't actually get it for a long, long time. Until then, I just get to look at it nestled among some of her Doctor Who toys.

Oh yeah...she has a lot of those now.

She also has several plastic TARDISes, but this one is ceramic. And some day--she says not for a long, long time if she gets her way--it's where my remains will rest while I go off onto the next great adventure.

She said she felt a little creepy buying it, but she wanted to get it while it was still available.

In the meantime, I get to enjoy it while I lounge on the desk during work hours. And there's been a lot of those lately. Sometimes 12-14 hours a day.

(Not complaining...we're having fun. Maybe too much fun, because when we get to the final draft of this book, a bunch of stuff will have to be cut because there are some adultish things that need to be toned down.)

((OTOH, there might have to be an R rated version, because honestly? Bouncy things through a cat's eyes is...interesting. And funny.))

I'm also trying to talk the Woman into buying a 2nd ceramic TARDIS because doods...it could hold a TON of crunchy treats.


Posted by Max | Posted on 8/21/2016 02:06:00 PM


♦ The Woman put pants on today and went outside--I know, right? PANTS!--and when she came back she had a plastic bag in her hand, so I asked her of she bought me anything. Doods, she totally did! She bought me a bag of Fancy Feast dry food, because that's what goes into the treat machine. And I didn't even have to work for it; she put some in the machine but then also dropped a handful down onto the plastic base so that I could just eat a bunch.

♦ I learned this week that the Woman has a friend named Honkers McBonkers. And it really doesn't surprise me.

♦ I still have not see a printed copy of the hard back version of my book. The printer is supposed to send me a proof copy, but every time I check it's still "in printing" so I ordered one off Amazon and it'll be here Monday. Go figure. You guys might see it before I do.

I guess I should have warned people.

You might cry when you read it.

You might not, but you might.

You also might go out and adopt a kitten just to name it Wick.

You also might notice--especially if you're friends with the Woman on Facebook--that we used a few names of people she knows.

Last year, her friend Rider was all Oh I want to be a princess! and because she's a super nice person, she got to be a princess.

And the whole royal family was named for a super cool dood named Jeff, but the Woman probably should have told him that before the book went to print, because what if it pissed him off?

And Wick...well, his name came from one of the sweetest people the Woman has ever met.

♦ I don't know if we'll do the same thing in the next book, unless you have a burning desire to have someone kinda douchey named after you.

♦ The Woman's birthday is next week and the Man is not going to go pass gas, so I don't know how much writing we'll get done. It sounds like they want to go places and do things WITHOUT ME so who knows?

♦ I was going to take a picture of the spiffy new office spot I have, but someone needs to clean some crap off the desk first.

♦  Instead, here's a picture of me looking down on everyone. Well, not YOU. You're awesome.


Posted by Max | Posted on 8/17/2016 04:34:00 PM


All righty, doods. The book went live on Amazon for the Kindle about an hour ago, and it's in the distribution system for print and can be ordered, though Amazon says it'll take a couple of extra days. I have not yet seen a print copy, just the e-proofs, but I'll see one tomorrow (I think the hard back, but I'm not 100% sure) and if it looks sucky I'll tell you.


Clicky here for Kindle version.

Clicky here for hard back.

Clicky here for paperback.

I had really expected it to be available like a week ago, but there was a hiccup with the cover of the hard back, and then just silence from the distributor (no idea what was going on there. Maybe too many tacos at lunch and they were all stuck in the litterbox room) but once they got rolling, they got it moving pretty fast.

I am 23 kinds of excited about this book because it was so much fun to write, and I am 698 kinds of nervous because I've never written anything like this.

But doods...you're gonna love Wick.

When I grow up, I want to be Wick.

In fact, I wish I had my fun bits, so I could spawn, and I would name him Wick, so that Wick could continue on. But I don't, so there will just have to be more Wick books. Next one is pretty much outlined to the end (except a few parts) and the vomit draft is half done. Oh yeah, I have found my calling, and it is Wick.

We'll get to space sooner or later

Posted by Max | Posted on 7/30/2016 01:45:00 PM


Ok, so now that the book is pretty much out of our hands and we're taking notes for the next one, I revisited the idea of Cats in Space, with Feline Overlords. The Woman flipped through the considerable volume of notes we have and said, "Well, I don't think it will fit into this book, but I can see it working in the third book."

This is how I tell her what I want to do
Now, that sounds all right; just be patient and my Feline Overlord story idea will come to fruition. But do you know how long it takes to write and then get a book published? I'm 15 now. I'll be 16 when the second book is done, which means she expects me to hang around until I'm 17 years old.

I mean, that's doable, but not bloody likely.

So while she's taking notes for the next book, I'm also making her take detailed notes for the third, and maybe even the fourth. Seriously, doods, this thing has legs...Wick is super fun to write for and I kinda hope she takes my ideas and runs with them.

Gotta get the first one out, though. It's in the printer's paws, and as soon as we see a clean proof, we'll click on "ACCEPT" and let it fly into the public's hands. Looks like you'll get your choice of Kindle book*, trade paperback, and hardback.

A HARD BACK, DOODS!!! That's how much the editor liked it!

I haz an excited.

Okay, back to work. We have book two of The Wick Chronicles to write.

*If you read on another type e-reader, I can arrange for you to buy a copy. We just have to do the conversion here, at least for now.

While we wait...

Posted by Max | Posted on 7/23/2016 09:02:00 PM


...for the final proofing so that corrections of typos can be made, the Woman and I are plowing through and starting more copious notes for book #2.

I mean, we HAVE notes, but these are a little more involved and we're hoping it means the second book will get done faster than the first. Like, way faster, given that we kicked this story around for 2-3 years before I was able to staple her asterisk to the chair to get her started with the actual writing.

Tell ya what, though, I don't think I've ever had more fun writing something or liked it quite as much, even if I am nervous about it. I think the Woman is enjoying it, too, because the notes for book two are keeping her awake at night, as the story percolates in her brain. This is perfect for me; I get to sleep, she gets to think.

And doods, trust me, she needs a lot of practice doing that.


Posted by Max | Posted on 7/11/2016 10:41:00 PM



Enjoyment shall commence... NOW.

Why I'll never be on the New York Times Bestseller's List:

Posted by Max | Posted on 7/08/2016 03:46:00 PM


Me: I have an idea for the next book.

The Woman: Let's finish this one first.

Me: But it's a great idea!

The Woman: Let's finish this one first.

Me: But we should at least take notes so I don't forget my idea.

The Woman: Let's finish this one first.


The Woman: Let's finish this one first.

Me: But we'll save humanity!

The Woman: Let's finish this one first.

Cripes almighty, doods, this book is essentially done. We're just doing some minor revisions and proofing. She could set it aside and take copious notes for me, but nooooo.

Oh...and for your viewing pleasure, here's a little preview of the very much unfinished cover mock up.

The Woman's name is on this one but probably won't be in the final version. I mean, who gives cover credit to their typist...?

Holy Birthday Box, Batman!

Posted by Max | Posted on 6/23/2016 03:15:00 PM


Doods, check out the birthday stuff I got from my friend Mighty Kitty. I GOT A WHOLE BOX FILLED WITH STUFF!!

Ok, it's really for both Buddah and me, but it was sent for my birthday so it's technically all mine, but I'll share it with him because I'm not a jerk.

Buddah will probably get most of the treats since my tummy is particular, but I get to try them all anyway. But first up...I'm getting into the Silvervine, because, NIP!!!

Oh. I need to get into it and then help the Woman work on my book. We worked yesterday and if you ever doubted that I dictate to her...well, here's the proof.

We were having a discussion about the word "horrible" because she said I had used it too many times on one page and needed something else, and I was pretty firm that horrible was the right word, trying to work with her.

We're on the home stretch with the book. Revisions are nearly done, and then it needs to be proofed. We are WAY ahead of the deadline, so if we get finished and it gets proofed and the editor says ok, it may go to print long before expected. And we have tons of notes for the next one, so we might jump onto that, too.

This is gonna be a fun, nipped out, story-writing summer!

The Big Onety-Five

Posted by Max | Posted on 6/20/2016 12:00:00 AM


Yep, it's the annual Max-Turns-Another-Year-Older Day.

I have to admit, I was not expecting to reach this milestone, but I'd damned glad I did. I still have things to do and people to annoy, so I'm not ready to shuffle off to the next big thing.

Today I am hoping for 5 naps in different places around the house, some real live fresh dead shrimp (which I have been getting for the last couple of days, because I'm that awesome), and maybe some real live fresh dead steak, too.

Everyone celebrate with me.


Y'all need pretty things to look at today

Posted by Max | Posted on 6/12/2016 01:41:00 PM


This has been a horrible day for people, and for that I am truly sorry. When a day like today happens, with people dying needlessly at the hands of someone who cannot be in their right mind, it's too easy to see nothing but ugliness all around.

But this is a beautiful world, people. It's more beautiful than it is ugly, and that includes people.

Click on image to biggify...go on, it's magnificent
Just look around. The people doing the ugly things are broken people; there are more of you that are whole and wonderful and so breathtakingly beautiful, and you need to remember that. There are far more good people in the world than bad, but it's the ones doing awful, horrible things that get noticed most.

But look around. You'll see, this world is a wonderful place.

I'm happy to be in it, however few the years I'm given might be.

You're a big reason why. I see you out there, going about your people-lives, the effort you make in getting from day to day and the good you do without even thinking about it.

But...sometimes, on a day like today, people need to be reminded that they are wonderful and special, and to not let the ugliness that swirls in microscopic mists drown them out.

Weep for the dead and the people who loved them, but never forget...there's all this awesomeness around us.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

I haven't blogged the last couple of weeks because my routine has been turned upside down. The Man had to go to the stabby guy, who is apparently a stabby lady, and she did stabby things to him, and it included someone else passing gas on him, which I thought was both ironic and funny.

But...while I popped onto Facebook some, the Woman has been distracted and not helping me with my blogging. I can't complain too much, because she has been helping with revisions on my book, which looks like it will be done way ahead of the September deadline.

Ya, I have deadlines.

In any case, the Man is healing spectacularly and even though he'll be off work for a couple of weeks still, the Woman is not nearly as distracted and should be more willing to help me blog in between bouts of helping me write.

If not...I'm on Facebook, you can find me at my "official" author's page