THE EASTER BUNNY CAME

Posted by Max | Posted on 4/20/2017 02:27:00 PM

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Ok, she came on Sunday (yes, she. The Easter Bunny is a girl. How did you not know that?) and we took a picture but we've been working (read: playing online a lot) and instead of posting I ate a lot of the treats.

Shuddup. That sentence got away from me.


I'm being nice and sharing with Buddah. I mean, I'd like to hog them all, but I'm pretty sure Santa would find out about that.

But yeah, work. Wick 3 is basically done and headed for formatting and cover creation. We're hoping everything will be in the can by the end of this weekend. Well, the Woman does, because next weekend the Man is off work and it's his birthday and stuff, so she kinda wants to not have work looming over her.

Oh hey, I just looked at his birthday is one week from today.

I should get him something.

'Scuse me while I head for Amazon. Surely I can find something there, and charge it to his credit card.

The sticky notes...and reviews

Posted by Max | Posted on 4/09/2017 12:06:00 PM

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The notes on the monitor in the previous post...those are coding reminders for the Woman. She can never remember how to make InDesign auto-flow text from the first page to the last, and she sometimes forgets how to make it show page numbers. So she keeps sticky notes on the monitor where she can see them, and then every time she needs to know that information...well, she forgets those notes are there and starts saying things from the bad word list, and she digs through books to find out what to do, and then starts to make new notes. When she sees she already had notes? Yeah, more bad words.

Other thing we're contemplating today...book reviews. I used to get a lot of reviews on my books, but lately...none. There's only one review on Amazon for Ozoo. I know people are reading it, because they email me about it. But no one is leaving good reviews.

This isn't just about me or the Woman. Indie writers especially live and die by the reviews they get, and we know a lot of indie writers (you might be one of them.) The fewer reviews, the worse the sales become. It doesn't take long to write a review, but the impact it has is pretty big. So if you buy a book and like it--anyone's--please take 2 minutes to review it on Amazon, especially if it's by an indie writer.

Why Amazon? Because it's where most book sales occur, especially digital books.

In other news today, I have successfully opened 27 more links on Reddit by rubbing my face on the computer, and I have a special knack of finding the X-rated things. The Woman is so proud. And newly educated. But she keeps asking me why the hell I can't just open cat pictures...it's not my fault the things she looks at have links to nekkid people. I'm just really good at finding them.

Huh

Posted by Max | Posted on 4/06/2017 03:56:00 PM

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I don't know why the Woman took a picture of the computer monitor while we worked. She just did. What I want to know is why she needs to have a box that says PENCIL. Like, does she keep it in there so that when she needs one, she knows what it is? Can't she leave the pencil in the desk, and just GRASP that's what it is? And more importantly, since the pencil is ON THE DESK, when she goes to open the box, won't she be confused??? I mean, more than normal?

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

Posted by Max | Posted on 4/01/2017 12:18:00 PM

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Buddah and I had a heart to heart talk last night. He sat in his box, clutching his favorite nip banana, and I was on the floor, licking up the nip that spilled out of the hole on my banana. And we realized something during this talk...we're not really brothers. The people may have adopted us both, but there's no paper trail or anything.

Since we are not truly related, this opens up a whole new vista in our relationship. I mean, I still don't like him, but he is a fixture in my life and he's not going away. So we figured we might as well make the most of it.

We like you guys an awful lot, so we wanted you to be the first to know. Buddah and I are getting married. I mean, I know a lot of married couples don't like each other and they make it work, so I think we'll be just fine.

It will take some time to get all the details worked out, so we decided to have a year-long engagement, and we'll make it official one year from today.

Everyone is invited!

Yes, he really did get that box for his birthday...

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/30/2017 11:39:00 AM

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Buddah loves boxes. I mean, I like boxes, but he LOVES boxes. For several years, before the people had the kitchen remodeled, he had a special shoe box on the counter. It was set there for "a few minutes" which turned into a few years, because he claimed it 6.27 seconds after it was set down, and the people didn't have the heart to take it away from him. It became his safe place, the box to which he ran when he was upset or nervous.

His counter box was bigger than this...
When it fell apart, the Man ordered a new pair of the same shoes to make sure that the box would be the same, and it went right onto the same spot. If Buddah noticed the swap, he didn't care; he had his box in his safe place.

When the kitchen as re-done though, the box was put away. They wanted to see if he would be okay without it; if he'd been upset, they would have put it back, but with everything being so new and needing exploring, he didn't seem to care.

Still...every now and then they bring a bog box home, and toss it onto the floor for him. He gets to keep it for 3-4 weeks, or until I pee in it, whichever comes first. When it occurred to them that it had been a long time since he'd had a new one, they went to Costco, because Costco has the best boxes. And that was his birthday present...there's really nothing better they could have given him.

He spends a good part of the day in it, either sleeping or playing with my nip taco, and I have not yet peed in it (I peed in the Man's closet, though. And on some towels on the bathroom floor.)

((No, there's nothing wrong with me. This is not new behavior. The Woman knows better than to leave a towel on the floor, because I WILL pee on it. Just because. Now the Man knows, too; leave a towel on the closet floor, and I will pee on it. And get pee all over the carpeted floor while I'm at it.))

In other news...the third book in The Wick Chronicles is with the editor now. She's going to read it over the weekend and then send notes; hopefully she won't have too many things to say, so that we can get to the next part. There's already some concept artwork for the cover (and if you read my Ask Max Monday column at Mousebreath, you've seen it) and the trim size will be the same as the other two books. We has an excited, because this one is a fun romp.

And if you haven't read the first book yet, stay tuned...the Kindle version will probably go on sale when this one hits Amazon.

And maybe somewhere along the way we can figure out why Amazon stopped carrying the print versions of some of my books....

The One That's Partly About Buddah

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/24/2017 10:14:00 PM

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This is what Buddah got for his birthday. A box. And really, it was the perfect present...he plays in it every day and has even taken a few naps in it. It's not too big and it's not too small, and it gives me something to pee on if he gets me mad enough.

Don't look at me like that. If I do it, he totally deserves it.



He's also been trying to help with the new book. Mostly, he just holds papers down, but it's proving to be an important job because the people have had the front and back doors open, and the wind blows them all over the place.

The first draft is done and we're well into the edits and re-writes. I really want to get it mostly done before the middle of April, because Doctor Who starts in April, and once it does I'm going to watch it over and over every week, which might cut into my work time.

Hey. I'm almost 16. I think I should get to take 3 months to power-watch the Doctor if I want. I mean, who knows how many more seasons I'll be around for ? (The Woman say ALL OF THEM because she thinks I'm that stubborn.)

The Woman will be distracted by it, too. She was a little bit sick for a couple weeks and one afternoon when she was curled up in bed and I was takign care of her she said, "I can't croak now, Big Guy. I'll miss Doctor Who!" Then I called her a drama queen and she got all better, but she has a point. We need to be extra careful to be sure we're around for this season since it's the 12th Doctor's last one (Ohhhh...and that really upsets her because she totally wants him to stick around for like 20 more seasons. I swear, she would pay a thousand bucks to sit in a room with 500 other people to listen to him read from the phone book.)

(Ok I'm old. I know what a phone book is.)

(Shuddup. You're old, too.)

In any case, Buddah had a good birthday, he's helping, and we're in the final stretch of Wick #3.

Today, he is 12...

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/15/2017 11:29:00 AM

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Hard to believe it. I've been putting up with him for twelve years. But, the people seem to like him, even though he's a bitey sort of cat, and even though he's taken to yelling at them when they don't bend to his will.

Seriously. He throws temper tantrums.

He hasn't gotten any presents yet, but I'm pretty sure he'll get something tonight, after dinner. I'm 99% sure I saw the Woman hide a new nip banana in a drawer the other day, and birthdays are always a prime day for real live fresh dead things.

Happy birthday Buddah Pest. One more year, and you'll be a man.

Okay. I think we're back...

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/12/2017 02:25:00 PM

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The Woman picked a bad time to get sick. My goal was to post every day in February, and she had to go an muck that up. But, she feels better now and says she'll make sure I get to blog more often, even if it's not every day.

Yeah, let's not hold out breaths...

But, we are back to work. The first draft on the third Wick book  is done and is being proofed. We know there are some deep rewrites to be made; the story is awesome and fun but the narrative lags in a few places and I want that tightened up (pretty much the same thing happens with every book, so it's not an indication of suckage, just that we write without editing as we go along.) ((This is the royal "we" since we all know I write my books all by myself.)) (((Shuddup.)))

I did learn something valuable while working this week. If you roll onto the keyboard, you can highlight the entire document, and then if your head hits the touch-screen while you're trying to get up, you can delete the whole thing. FOR REALZ.

I almost had a panic attack when the Woman said, "Wonderful, furball, you just erased your entire book." But then she closed it without saving and opened it back up from the file in the cloud, and we only lost like 3 typo corrections.

Really she should know better than to sit here in the comfy chair to work, because I'm always going to sit on the arm of the chair to snoopervise, and experience should tell her that sometimes a kitty accidentally touches the screen. She should be grateful I didn't open another porn link. She still hasn't recovered from the last time.

Well, she says she hasn't. Secretly, I think she enjoyed it.

She's still coughing...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/20/2017 09:13:00 PM

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...and it's totally ruining my lap time.

The Woman has a cold

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/19/2017 09:18:00 PM

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So today's content is basically just cough,cough,cough,cough,cough,cough,cough.

But I did get the fireplace tonight, so there's that.

It's not even a new argument...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/18/2017 06:15:00 PM

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Here's the thing when your protagonist is a cat: he's gonna get attention and affection from the other characters in the story, unless they're all giant gaping asterisks. Being the 3rd book in a series, the Woman and I have had a similar discussion many, many times.

This

"...while giving me head and chin skritches..."
is not an acceptable way to describe said attention and affection.

Worse, it takes her staring at the sentence for a good hour before it finally clicks and she understands why it looks so very, very wrong.

The first time was forgivable. The second was understandable. But now? HOLY HELL, WOMAN, WHERE DID YOU PUT YOUR SPARE BRAIN?

I mean, at least she's doing the editing necessary, but it's still hard to believe this krap makes it out of her brain and into even the vomit draft.


She earned the back of disrespect

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/17/2017 10:08:00 PM

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First, she wouldn't give me an extra snack this afternoon.
Then, she wouldn't let me walk across the new computer.
Then, she wouldn't let me have seconds at dinner tonight because snack was only 4 hours away.

I am shunning her.

More bad words...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/16/2017 07:27:00 PM

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I got to hear the Woman mumble ALL kinds of things on the Bad Word List while she surfed online with her iPad, looking at laptops and reviews and prices. She got 16 kinds of grumpy when she realized prices have shot up since last year--the same system she got for $800 13 months ago is $1300 now--but none of the backup thingies she already has will run the software she needs.

One thing she was blown away by...last November she bought a Lenovo X1 Carbon off a guy in a writing group for $50 because some keys fell off and he didn't like it. Same one right now runs $1400 and he got it when it was a new release and paid more than that. She got it and popped the keys back on and hooked it up to a monitor, and yeah, totally spiffy general use computer. The screen is too small for most of the things she does and the keyboard is space out weird so she runs words together, otherwise he would have limped by on it even though it doesn't have enough memory.

Anyway, she kept running into the same laptop in reviews and Best Buy had it for $400+ less than Amazon, so she went and got the last one they had in the local store.

So you know what she's doing right now?

SHE'S WHINING ABOUT SETTING UP A NEW COMPUTER.

Like, holy frijoles, dood, talk about spoiled and entitled. Worse, I think she used all my book money on it. If I bought the damn thing, I better get to use it.

It's super light so I should be able to handle it just fine. She's gonna give it a good whirl and it might even get to go to Starbucks with her since the old Mac Air needs a new battery. It might even persuade her to sell the old Mac Air. But then she keeps saying she wants to sell the old iMac but it's just sitting on the floor waiting for that to happen. And it has been for like 8 months, at least.

Once this new one is all set, work shall resume.

What goes EEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeeebonk?

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/15/2017 08:17:00 PM

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The Woman's laptop at about 4pm today.

Well, her main one. She still has the little MacAir to putz around on, but the screen is small and her eyes are already yelling at her.

In the grand scheme of things, it's not a huge deal...but it'll have to be replaced before the last draft of Wick book 3 is done. She can't run any professional-level software on 4GB RAM, but she can run Word so that we can keep writing.

Still...I think I have a couple new things for the Bad Word List.

From the bottom of my heart...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/14/2017 03:13:00 PM

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Why is no one making this for me tonight?

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/13/2017 09:10:00 PM

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It's been weeks since I had any.
WEEKS.

I think my ears are bleeding

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/12/2017 10:08:00 PM

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Ok, well, not for real, but damn.

The Woman watched the Grammy Awards tonight, which is always a bad idea, because she hears all this spiffy music with awesome singers, and then tries to sing along.

I was on her lap, curled up and warm and happy, when all the sudden this NOISE starts.

Doods. I totally growled at her.

Then I jumped down onto the floor and she kept on with the wailing, so I started yelling at her...and she laughed at me! Like it was funny!

I showed her. I left the room and refused to sit in her lap after that.


Human...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/11/2017 10:24:00 PM

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It's too far away.


Bring it to me.

Ozoo news

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/10/2017 05:05:00 PM

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Ok, I now have 10 paperback copies of Ozoo (I can get more, that's just what I started with.) So if you were waiting for the paperback to get a pawtographed copy, you're in luck!


Paper or Hard back
(It's in the sidebar, too.)

With all the rain we've had lately the Woman has stayed home quite a bit so we got a TON of work done on the 3rd book in The Wick Chronicles, and the vomit draft is pretty well sewn up...but now the discussion (between me, her, and her editor) is whether or not the entire series can shift from YA to General SciFi, because the tone is definitely changing.

The 4th book will definitely depart from YA, but we'd already planned for it to be the start of its own series, Wick After Dark. Yeah, it will not be for kids. The bulk of the outline is done, but the actual writing won't start until Book 3 is at least in formatting. So no asking to read it yet, Mrs. Undr, it's only think-stuff on virtual paper.

In other news, the Woman has raised enough money for St. Baldrick's that she has to record herself on video singing, so I'm being tortured while she tries to remember how to play the guitar (it's been a while.) The guitar part isn't bad; she just does chords and she's not horrible at it, just kinda slow on going from one to another because it doesn't feel natural anymore. What hurts is the singing. You people are going to be so tortured.

Look!

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/09/2017 09:13:00 PM

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My friend Diane sent me a really cool fridge magnet that looks like me!

This is it up close:


And the message is totally on point.
FEEEEEEED MEEEEEE.

No, really.

Feed me.