February 28, 2013


This evening the dood in the brown shorts brought me the proof copy of my book...he rudely just dropped it on the front porch and walked away, but the Woman heard him so it didn't sit out there getting all of the outside intruder kitty cooties all over it.

You've seen the front...this is the back.
Now that we've seen the proof, and it looks good, the Woman approved it with the distributor, so hopefully withing a week it'll start popping up in the online stores.

And she's gonna order a few copies in the next day or so for the people who want a pawtographed copy. She just has to try to figure out how many to order. I want a bunch, like 1000, but she says that would be insane. She just likes to always have like 3-4 copies of each of our books on hand, but a few people said they wanted one, too.

Money-wise, it won't make much difference to us if people want to buy them online or from us. It's only whether they want me to sign it.

What, you don't think I can?


In other news, the Woman had something for dinner that smelled all right so I asked for some, but when she gave me a bite it was like...meh. Plain spaghetti. NO SAUCE, sheesh. So I let Buddah have my bite. Mostly he just played with it, I don't think he actually ate it, but what the hell, it made him happy for 3.5 seconds and in the morning the Woman will have to chisel it off the floor.

February 25, 2013

Talk about rocking the pink...

...and you can't say the Younger Human doesn't hold up his end of the bargain. You guys donated a lot of money toward his Polar Plunge--he made his $2000 goal!--so he followed through and jumped as Princess Peach.

Doods...he's even wearing white gloves and a crown.And he's smiling, so I think he might have liked it a bit.

His team raised $14000 for the Special Olympics...that's a lot of equipment for the athletes!

Thank you for helping him raise enough money to embrace his inner princess. And thank you for helping the Woman and the Man have pictures to giggle over.

And about the book only being available for the Kindle (or devices that can use the Kindle app)--we'll work something out, once we figure out how to do that without violating the terms of the 90 exclusivity deal. There's got to be a way...

February 24, 2013


Man, we haven't even gotten to see a proof copy of the printer version yet--that might be another week or so--but my book has gone live on Amazon for the Kindle (and other tablets if you have the Kindle app, which is FREE...)

The Woman was all, oh it'll be at least tomorrow before it goes live and then I had to download a copy because sometimes it doesn't look the way it did in the Previewer, but the Previewer has updated and it looked pretty good in there, so as soon as she saw it was live she bought a copy (hahahaha yeah she had to buy a copy) and it looks pretty good!

So now you can buy a copy too! If you don't have a Kindle or table with the Kindle app...WHY THE HECK NOT?

Ok, fine, some of you have Nooks...but it's not going to be on B&N for the Nook for at least 90 days.

Oh! Oh! Oh! You can even download the Kindle app for your PC or Mac! So there you go!

This is the book description (and the back of the book):

He’s a pioneer of cat blogging and channels his inner Ann Landers every week in his advice column for mousebreath! magazine, and is the author of three popular books; this is the book his fans and minions have been waiting for: the memoirs of Max Thompson. Bite Me is a book that will have you laughing out loud, will have you crying until your nose runs, and will have you wondering out loud, “Am I really reading the autobiography of a cat?”

Yes. Yes, you are.

This is the book Max’s readers have been asking for–from the moment the Younger Human brought him home, through the tortures of the M-Word, living with a dog, and then with Basement Kitty Buddah–this is Max Thompson’s memoirs, in his own words.

Sort of.

Oh yeah, it's my memoirs. From the time the Younger Human brought me home til now. All yours for only $3.99.

The print version, as long as the proof copy looks all right, will probably pop up in online books stores in a couple of weeks, and it's going to be $15.95 US.

I'll be sure to get some copies here so I can sign them. Because that will make them, like, valuable.

February 22, 2013


Since the people are officially old, they went out to have dinner at 4 in the freaking afternoon, like all good little AARP members do.

When they came home, there was steak.

We're talking the really good, really tender, perfectly cooked real live fresh dead cow. The kind that makes you start drooling as soon as you smell it.

Well, the Woman cut up some for us, in perfect little cat sized bites and gave me a plate with some, and gave Buddah a plate with some, plus a couple of crunchies because he won't eat people food without a crunchy topper.

So I ate mine, and when I was done...well, Buddah wasn't, so I jumped on the counter and finished it for him.


The Woman saw this and sighed, but Buddah walked away like he didn't care. He probably did, at least a little, but what's he gonna do? I already chewed and swallowed it.

And then, to rub it in, I jumped onto his tree and plopped down on his favorite spot.

He didn't seem to kind, but the Woman...heh..."Damn, you can be a dick sometimes, Max."

Yes. Yes I can.

And I'm fine with that.

February 18, 2013

It's a Twofer

I blocked both the computer monitor AND the TV.
I planned it that way.

February 17, 2013

Aw, Pete...

First time I saw this picture, I howled with delight. I mean, that was a kitty with spunk, with attitude. The Internets loved him, too, because I saw him on Fark and reddit and a couple other places. It was a while before I found out who he was...and then it was DUH, that was Peter Pete from PurrChance2Dream.

Okay, so sometimes I don't pay attention as close as I should. But I still love this picture.

I always will.

Pete grew into one heck of a handsome mancat, so awesome that I think somewhere along the line we must be related. Two black and white tux boys, both Freaking Sweet...surely we share a common ancestor.

Yesterday Pete had to be rushed to the emergency vet. From the time I found out until I got the news update today, I had paws crossed and was hoping hard that he would somehow be okay, but it seems he needed to go off to the Bridge. We're all upset and 20 kinds of sad, but NTM and iDaddy are heartbroken.

Pete's gonna have a wicked awesome time at the Bridge, but still...NTM and iDaddy and all the Purries have these huge Pete sized holes in them now.

Petey, we'll see you on the flip side. Party hard, have more fun than a guy ever should, and make sure you find where the Cheetos are, so you can show me when I get there.


February 16, 2013

A Sneak Peek

First off...instead of doing away with Anonymous comments, I changed it to 2-day moderation. So if you're commenting more than two days after I post something, your comment won't show up immediately; it'll have to wait until my staff gets her lazy asterisk online to approve it. I suspect spam will still sneak through, but we'll wait and see how it goes. I dunno what it is--Blogger used to be so good at catching spam, now most of it filters through.


Something Spiffy This Way Comes!

You're getting a sneak peak at the literary wonder that is *so* close to getting from line editing (it's out of the main editor's hands and into the line editor's) to layout.

This is the first stage of the cover mockup. The front cover will get about 90% done and the back cover will get about 80% done, but the whole thing being tweaked and laid out back-spine-front has to wait until the book has been formatted for print.

If the line editor gets done this weekend--and we've been told he's working on it this weekend instead of saving it for the workweek, because he's just that nice--the print formatting could start this coming week. E-book formatting will follow. I think they do it in that order because it takes longer for the print book to become available once the printer has it; the e-books usually go live about a day after they're uploaded.

I'll also get a few print copies so that I can sign them. That will make them, like, valuable or something.

No word on pricing yet.

But it's coming! I'M GONNA BE FAMOUSER!

February 14, 2013

This guy is ticking me off

I bet he's not even really that cute...
He keeps leaving comments without saying who he is.

He keeps trying to get kitties to go visit other websites, where he's just gonna try to sell them things.

He isn't trustworthy, and he's annoying as chit.

So it's his fault that I am now going to have to disallow Anonymous comments. I'm tired of all the spam that makes it through, and all the moderating of comments that don't.

Anyone can still leave comments and I won't enable word verification because that's just annoying, but you'll need to sign in with something to do it. If you have a gmail account, Blogger takes that as a Google sign in. It also takes Open ID so I think you can sign in with Wordpress and a bunch of other things, or you can fill out your name and URL.

But no more Anonymous, and I apologize. I am generally opposed to limits on commenting, but the spam scum is driving me a bit bonkers.

If this turns out to be a pain, I can revert to allowing Anonymous again, but then I'll have to turn on word verification.

Lemme know which you prefer.

I'll make the change tomorrow, I think...so chime in.

All your luvvy duvvy stuff today

It's awful.



February 10, 2013

...And off it goes...

The book is now in the editor's hands.

She's already seen it before, so hopefully it won't take much time at all for her to get the edits back to me.

I'm already looking for artwork for the cover. We had an idea about it before, but there might be a title change because the few people who heard the working title went "Huh?" so it might not be as funny as we thought it was...so that means we need a new idea.

But... the mean lady has the book.

This is forward progress.

You'll buy a copy, right? RIGHT?

February 07, 2013

In my defense...

Look, before the Man has a chance to spread lies about me, I want to get my side of the whole issue out. Because it totally wasn't what it looked like.

Ok, so last night before he went to bed, the Man had a snack. And that snack was a chicken leg. He ate it at the table, and then got up to get a drink.

He left the bone on his plate on the table.

Well, now. I saw the bone there and I jumped up on the chair, but I was not going to take the bone and nom the little bits and pieces of meat off of it.

I wasn't!

I was guarding it for him. I mean, it was just sitting there all exposed, and there's another kitty in the house, one who is far less scrupulous than I am. I was just making sure that Buddah didn't take the leg bone and try to chew on it, because there's that little pokey bone on it that he would have choked on.

Clearly, I was being honorable here.

But no, the Man saw me and was all Get down from there, Max. You can't have that, Max.



Some people.

February 04, 2013

Sniff, Sniff, Sniff

I had to investigate...the Man's sweatshirt smelled like outside.

February 01, 2013

OhOhOh! I Forgot! A SHINY!!!

Doods! You remember that the Younger Human is going to jump into icy cold water in about three weeks to raise money for the Special Olympics, right?

And if he hits his goal of $2000, he's going to dress like a girl when he does it. And not just any girl. PRINCESS PEACH!!!!

Well. This has to happen. So someone provided a SHINY PRIZE, and some lucky donor is going to win it. Every $5 is a shot at the shiny.

What is this shiny?


Click to biggify and see more detail on this awesome shiny
It's a Bulova two-toned women's watch, and retails for a little over $300. If you're not into wearing women's things, it would be an awesome gift for someone you want to impress, maybe get a little bow-chikka-bow-wow thing going. Or your Mom. But not both because that's just gross.

Oh, and for the Special Olympics, too, but mostly...I wanna see him in a dress and tiara. Pictures of that? Doods, they're live on the Internet FOREVER.

I don't care if the tree is Buddah's

If I want to use it, I'll use it.

AND I'll squish his little red bird toy while I'm at it.