OK, so all week I've been looking forward to today, because I heard the Woman say that for Easter, Buddah and I were getting a chicken. Not just bites of a chicken, but a WHOLE FREAKING CHICKEN. Now, I wasn't clear about whether this would be a real live fresh dead chicken or a real live fresh live chicken, but it didn't matter. We're capable of taking down a real live fresh live chicken and turning it into dinner. So yeah, I was seriously looking forward to dinner tonight.
Then the Man and the Woman sat down and had pork chops, which we were not allowed to have bites of because they were covered in this goo she called "Terikyaki" which apparently means "causes hairballs" so we couldn't taste it. but that was okay, because CHICKEN WAS COMING.
And then the time came. She said she was getting our chicken.
Doods. WTF? I can't eat this! And trust me, I made sure of it.
This chicken...it smelled like failure and disappointment.
Buddah wasn't sure about it, either...
...but that didn't stop him from trying to eat it.
Now the thing is sitting in the living room, mocking me. And he won't even tell me his name. He needs a name. Something worthy of the shame and disgust he brings to chickens everywhere.