September 30, 2009

Last night the woman got up in the middle of the night. She was moaning and groaning and holding her tummy. She probably ate to much or something. The Man got up and they left before the sun was even up and when it was time to feed two hungry kitties you know what happened?? Absolutely nothing!!! They never came back!! Just when I was about to pass out from starvation the Man finally came home to feed us.

He got on the phone and called the Grandma. It turns out that he took the woman to the people stabby place and left her there!! He said they ripped her guts out! It turns out that she has something called a "gallbladder" and its broken. Maybe they will give her a new one.

September 27, 2009

Today, about an hour after the Man woke up, the People decided they didn't want to eat at home so they were going to eat at some guy named Denny's. That works about as well for me as them eating food that Jenny Craig gives I was a little annoyed. I was good all day long, dammit! And last night, when the Woman didn't take her drugs that make her not pee all night long-and she did it on purpose, go figure--I didn't jump up and down on her bladder and I didn't get in her way when she got up every freaking hour. So they were supposed to stay home and make something kitty friendly that I could share.

But no, they decided Denny could do all the work tonight and left me at home, starving to death. So when they came home, I ignored them a little bit, because truly they deserved to be punished.

But later, when the Man was making his lunch to take when he goes to pass gas, the Woman got up and went into the kitchen too and got this little black box out of the fridge, and on it the box said DENNY'S. And she pulled chicken out of it! And she cut it up and gave it to us! AND Buddah didn't want his so I got that, too!

So clearly, Denny is a really stand up guy to end chicken home for the kitties. I would like to meet him and thank him, but we all know the odds of the people bringing him home.

He makes some REALLY good chicken, dooods! Like, wicked awesome!

September 25, 2009

The Woman knows this other woman, and she's a really amazing artist (not the Woman, the OTHER Woman...the Woman can't draw a straight line and likes these weird ass color combos that would freak out a blind man...) Anyway, check this out:

She's putting her artwork on t-shirts and cards and stuff...the Woman has this picture on a t-shirt and it's pretty cool. She's got lots of other cat things, too.

She has several online stores but the Woman got the shirt at her Zazzle shop.

Here's the hard sell...her husband was laid off almost a year ago and they could use all the sales hits they can get. So now might be the time to do a little early holiday shopping.

At least go take a look. I swear, her stuff is wicked cool.

September 21, 2009

oh my gawd oh my gawd oh my gawd oh my gawd oh my gawd oh my gawd oh my gawd

Butters in the bed

The Younger Human came over AND BROUGHT HIS DOG! And it got IN MY BED! And it slobbered ON MY TOY! AND...AND...AND...The Woman gave it some of MY crunchy treats!!!

I don't think I'll ever recover.

I need to go lie down now.

September 18, 2009

You know that Jenny Craig woman that's just made my life miserable because she's been feeding my people and giving them such tiny meals that there's not enough to share? She totally broke up with the Woman! She'll feed the Man, but I guess she took one look at the Woman and realized "Hey, this [beep] totally cheated on me with the Pizza Guys!" and she said "NO MORE FOOD FOR YOU!"

So now the Woman has to feed herself, which means REAL FOOD! And I bet she makes enough to share with me, because if she doesn't I will sneak into the bathroom and rub my butt on her toothbrush.

September 16, 2009

Look! I got a gizzy!

Max Gets A Gizzy

Mmm...I think it tastes a little like Millie...


This is so awesome!!!

September 14, 2009

Man, I have been trying to get at the computer for=, like DAYS, but the Woman has been "busy." She says she's been formatting all her books for something called "Smashwords" but really, all I see is her sitting here saying A LOT if inventive words...

Supposedly once she does this her books (in eReader form) will be available at Barnes & Noble, kind of like they are at Amazon.

But notice the most important part: she's doing HER books. Not mine. HER BOOKS.

Clearly, she does not have her priorities right. We all know who sells the most books.

It sure as heck ain't her...

September 10, 2009

Dooods...yesterday was awesome! There were so many kitty pictures and posts and videos online yesterday that WE TOTALLY WON!!! Maybe now they'll learn that without cats, the Internet would COLLAPSE. Totally it would.

September 09, 2009

September 08, 2009

Dooods. We must spread the word to stop the insidiousness of hat a bunch of PEOPLE are trying to do---they want A DAY WITHOUT CATS ON THE INTERNET!

We can't let this happen! THERE MUST BE CATS ON THE INTERNET! So tomorrow, help me thwart their evilness by posting a picture of yourself on your blog. Post anything! Just post!


September 06, 2009

Ohmygosh. This kitty...this kitty is...something is wrong with this kitty!!! THE HORROR!!! I can't even speak of it, you just have to watch for yourself.

I have to go lie down now.

September 04, 2009

Ok, I have a massive case of Teh Fail at blogging this week. The Woman has been hogging the computer, but what else is new? And Buddah's all I'm famouser than you! which is really annoying because it's just not true. But, he got his in the end...he must have eaten a thread, because tonight the Woman had to pull it out of his asterisk, and folks, that was just funny.