Around 3 this morning the Woman was making some really strange noises with her nose while she was sleeping, so being the NICE KITTY that I am, I jumped up on the bed next to her head, and said, "Wake up. Your nose is broken."
She stirred and reached a hand up to pet me, but that wasn't why I was there. So I said again, "Hey. Your nose is broken."
She rolled over, so I stomped over the back of her pillow and said one more time, "Your nose is broken. Get up and fix it!"
Finally, she opened her eyes and said, "It's not time to eat."
No. Really? It's three in the freaking morning, I know it's not time to eat!
And then Ms. Genius muttered "Damn, my sinuses are packed."
Well, yeah, Woman, that's why I woke you up. So you could get up and fix the dang thing before something popped and flooded your brains out through your nostrils.
But did she get up to fix it? No, she just sniffed really hard and complained about how gurgly her head felt, and she closed her eyes!
If her nose is broken again tonight, I'm not going to do a freaking thing to help her. Let her brains squirt out her nose. It's not like we'd notice the difference anyway.