May 19, 2006

Just for jollies, I sat there on the bed this morning, and watched the Woman's nose break and ooze all over the place. It was gross and kind of fascinating at the same time. I was waiting for her brains to get loose, but she woke up, said a few unrepeatable words, and went into the bathroom, where I presume she stuffed all that gunk back into her face.

Now, I was thinking this would be a good time to just go downstairs and feed the kitties, but noooo...she went back to bed. So what if it was 6:45? Other people get up at 6:45. Normal people get up then, I'm sure. I ave to have backwards people; the Man goes out and spends the entire night passing gas and then sleeps the day away, and the Woman stays up late and sleeps longer than someone who needs to feed the kitties should.

In fact, the only normal person here is the Younger Human. He gets up, goes to work, and comes home at a respectable hour. Then he goes out anjd sees his friends. But he doesn't have to be normal because it's not his job to feed the kitties! So why can't the Man be more like him? Pass gas all day long, but feed the kitties! Why can't the Woman go to bed at a normal hour and get up to feed us?

Really, I bet her nose would fix itself if she started being normal.

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