Here's the thing. Remember a long time ago when the People decided to try giving Buddah and me Stinky Goodness only? It worked, sort of. I was happy, Buddah was happy, and the People were happy when I lost a little weight. We were all one big happy, furry, stinky bunch.
But then Buddah started hacking up hairballs.
And then I started hacking up hairballs.
We started hacking up hairballs on a regular basis. The Woman tried this goopy hairball stuff, but every time she pulled the tube out of the drawer I ran like hell (come on, it looked like the brown goop they force fed me when I was sick. I wasn't going through that again.) She even tried smearing it on my paw, but I just waited and got Buddah to lick it off for me.
So they decided for the health of our tummies, we needed something. They embarked on a find a dry food they can both tolerate quest. After a few false starts, they tried Iams Multiple Cat Formula, which has taken care of the hairball problem, and we both like it.
I have gained 2 pounds. I don't like being 2 pounds heavier. It slows me down and makes it easier for Buddah to catch me. And I'm not a totally lazy cat; I run around a lot, too. Just ask the Woman. Buddah and I ran laps at 5:30 this morning.
But she's really, really, really worried about my girth. And since daily throwing up is not an option, she's trying to decide what to do. I have a bad feeling it might mean massively shrinking portions of Stinky Goodness. Heck, the stabby guy told her last year to take me off of it altogether, but she was concerned about my happiness (read: she doesn't want me badgering the bejeezuz out of her) so she didn't.
So here we are. I've gained a bit of weight; I don't like it, the People don't like it, but no one wants us to have to give up Stinky Goodness. And I don't like any other than Fancy Feast...believe me, she thought about a diet Stinky Goodness, but that's really just Stinky Badness.
The debate is now this: is it better for Max to be a little fat and happy, or for him to be pissed off and unhappy, but leaner?
I don't think I really wanna know...