July 17, 2006

I figured it out this morning: how to defeat the squirt bottle.

The Woman keeps it right beside the bed, within easy reach, so she can aim it at me if I try to wake her earlier than she feels is necessary. I've knocked it away before she can get to it a few times, but that just ticks her off.

So this morning I just sat there and meowed a little bit; she reached for the bottle, as expected, but did not squirt me. All I had done was let out a little "hello?" and that just doesn't deserve a good squirting. I let her get hold of the bottle, and waited. I knew she was not exactly awake and would fall asleep with the bottle in hand. And I knew if she fell back asleep the bottle would tip to its side, and just lay there beside her.

When she was asleep and the bottle was safely on its side, I did what every cat should do. I laid down across the bottle.

And then I poked her in the eye.

"Wake up. I'm hungry."
"Come on, I know you're in there."
"This hurts you more than it hurts me. Get up!"


Oh, she opened that eye and muttered, "Don't think I won't grab you by the tail and swing you around the room like a little kitty helicopter," but I knew better. She was awake, and once she's awake, I can pretty much count on breakfast within 5 minutes.

But just in case, I took my tail and jumped off the bed, where Buddah was waiting to be sat on.

All in all, a very good morning.

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