It just occured to me--I haven't seen any of the Sticky Little People in a long time. I did see another cat outside a window, and I tried to talk to him, but he just looked at me like I was speaking some foreign language. I think the People forgot to bring the Stikcy Ones along...

Ok, boys and girls, this is the true definition of "Moving." :

First, you will be locked in a bathroom, during which time everything you own and love will disappear.

Then, you will spend 2 days in an empty house, your meows echoing off the walls. Just when you think maybe your people just went broke and had to sell it all, they shove you in this tomb and then into the car, where you will spend the next 4 days, all freaking day long, with nightly breaks to stay in strange and awful-smelling rooms.

If you're lucky, at the end of the 4 days you get to stay in one of those rooms for more than one night, and your Younger Human will show up. But then you'll be tossed back into the tomb and the car and taken to another strange new place. It's bigger, but it's still different. And no stuff.

After 3 or 4 days of that, you'll start to relax. Once you relax they grab you and throw you into another bathroom for an entire day. It'll be hot in that bathroom, so you have to howl a lot to make sure they know you're pissed about it. But when you come out--Boxes and Boxes and Boxes, all there to jump on and climb on, and most of it smells like your stuff, even though you can't see your stuff. Your stuff will be somewhere in those boxes, and you just have to get really bitchy about it, complaining until the People rescue it all for you.

But that's moving.
I don't recommend it.

The Younger Human!!! They brought me to see the Younger Human!!! He and his Much Better Smelling Friend showed up at that little room we were in, and talked to me and petted me. Of course, I couldn't let them know how happy I was to see them, but hell! Now I know why we had to spend so much time in the freaking car!

Yesterday they didn't make me ride in it, but today they did. This morning the woman put me in the tomb and took me to the car, but I was only in it for about 10 minutes. They drove me to a new place, a much much bigger place than that room. It smells funny, but there's a lot to explore. And the Woman keeps saying "no more rides, you're safe," but I don't believe her.

But it's a nice place, so maybe...

Man, they did it to me again yesterday...we got up and they shoved me into the tomb and back into the car. I complained enough--and loudly, very loudly--that they stopped early and I got to relax the rest of the day.

And I must have been really annoying, because this morning they left me alone. They've been in and out, but I get to stay here, curled up on the bed or in a chair. I don't particularly like this place because there's not enough room. but if it means not getting back in that car, it'll do.

It works!

If you sleep all day, you have all night to drive your People NUTS. I let them sleep a little last night, but at about 5 a.m., I started. It was awesome. I jumped on them, I practically danced all over the bed, I head butted and rubbed on them…

And it got them up, when it was still dark outside.

Yeah, sure, they stuffed me back into that tomb and I spent the next 14 freaking hours in the car, but they fed me well, and now we’re in another room. I expect it’ll be the same tomorrow, hour after hour after hour in that car…

=sigh=
This is my life now, isn’t it?

I think I figured out what “moving” really means.

It doesn’t mean getting from one side of the room to the other, or turning 3 or 4 times to soften your bed pillows. It means being shoved into this plastic tomb, put in the car, where you stay all freaking day. Not just for a little while, but from sunup until it’s dark. The people get out every once in a while, but every time I try they tell me no, I have to stay, they’ll let me out “later.”

And I tell you what—those plastic tombs are impossible to dig one’s way out of.

I may have figured something else out today. Instead of talking to them all day—and yeah, I did that yesterday, thinking that if I asked politely they would take me home—I just curled up after a couple of hours and went to sleep. Since I’m well rested, tonight while they try to sleep, I’m going to run around the room at top speed, howling my head off.

That’ll teach ‘em.

Oh of all things holy and furry… You are NOT going to believe the crap I’ve gone through the last few days.

Okay, you know it started with my People letting total strangers in the house, then when I was locked in the bathroom we were robbed. Everything was gone, and I mean everything. The house was so empty that my sweet little voice echoed off the walls like a toddler screaming. Really. It was that empty.

So over the last couple of days the Woman started cleaning. Like, why couldn’t she do that when the stuff was there? Really…everything we owned was gone, so why bother? Who cares if the house is clean now? Yesterday I was so fed up I hid up on top of the refrigerator, at one point prompting the Woman to run through the house squealing “I can’t find the cat! I can’t find the cat!”

Heh. Remember that boys and girls. It’s totally worth seeing the look and hearing the squeal in their pathetic little voices.

But then they left me alone for most of the day, in that empty house. All my toys were gone, my bed was gone…all I had was a tiny little bit of food and a litter box. After a few hours of this I looked out and could finally see them outside the window, with all those other People, and they were freaking playing with fire. Don’t they know that’s just wrong?

But…it gets worse.

After they’re done playing with fire, they scooped my up, shoved me into the plastic tomb—which was in their car—and took me to a strange new place. My bed was there, and my food, but none of my other stuff. We stayed there for one night, then back into the tomb I went… for whole damned day!

I kid you not! We made a quick stop home—the house was still empty—and my People stood in the yard hugging all the other people (yeah, gag me)…and then we left.

All.
Damned.
Day.

So now we’re in another strange room (have to admit it’s nice than the last one) and they let me out of the tomb, but I think I can kiss off ever seeing my stuff again.

This is so poop on the pillow worthy…

All I can do is hide...

We were robbed.

Seriously. EVERYTHING is gone, except for my plastic tomb and a few other odds and ends. They freaking locked me in the bathroom this morning—for the entire damned day—and when I got out late in the afternoon, it was all gone. All the boxes, my Supreme Commander Kitty Tower, the comfy chair…all gone.

And you know what? I bet the People spent all their time sitting outside on their asses so they weren’t in the house to put a stop to the thievery. If they would just stay inside for ten minutes, crap like this wouldn’t happen and I would have all my stuff!

They better buy me new stuff. And I mean it!

Luckily, there were no strange people in my house today, but all my stuff is still in boxes, and they taped the boxes shut so that I can't get to any of it. And my People don't seem to grasp that...it's MY stuff! I want it!

The one good thing about all those boxes is that there's something to jump around on, and I'm not even getting yelled at for it. I jumped up and the hopped over on top the the big stand they have their TV on, and no one got mad. I took up all of the sace on the Woman's chair, and she didn't make me move, she sat on the footstool instead.

The Woman took me outside in the new plastic tomb today, too. I hate to admit it, I kind of liked being out there. It was breezy and there were birds (but they didn't come too close) and the Peoples' friends came outside, but didn't pester me. Even the Sticky Little ones were tolerable. One of the littlest little ones called me "KiKi." I don't know who KiKi is, but she was cute, so it's okay. She didn't cream at me or stick her fingers in to poke at me, so I suppse she can call me anything she wants.

But I want my stuff back. I think my kitty crack is in one of those boxes.

There are people in my house! Strange people that I don’t know, and they’re taking all my stuff and putting it into boxes! Worse yet, MY People seem to be okay with it—so okay that they took all my window perches down. I can’t even look out the freaking window now!

Normally a bunch of boxes would be a good thing, stuff to play in and jump on, but I don’t like this, not one bit. It’s not quiet enough in here, I don’t know where my stuff is, there’s all this other stuff more or less blocking my litter box, and I don’t know what the hell is going on!

I am not a happy cat today, not at all.

I did not think that those little holes in the wall were bugs. No matter what she says, I absolutely did not. I only jumped up to see how deep they were. I mean, come on. For all I know there are edible things lurking in those holes.

The Man took a bunch of his shiny things off the walls, and left the holes. The shiny things looked better, if you ask me. But no one has, like my opinion on the decor of this house doesn't matter.

And the Woman tells me things are coming off the walls because we're "moving." The only moving I'm doing is from the comfy chair in the living room to the kitchen and back, with occasional side trips to the litter box. And I've been watching the Woman. She's barely moving at all most of the time, so I don't know what the hell she figures is really going on.

And, oh yeah, she left this morning without feeding me! I was good; I didn't launch off my window perch onto her stomach this morning. I didn't howl in her ear. I waited patiently, and instead of feeding me after she got up, she left the freaking house for half an hour! My breakfast was late. After all that being good, it was late.

I tell you what, when dinner time rolls around she better be moving her ass from where ever she's plastered to into the kitchen. That's the only moving I want to see around here.

Ok, so she finally opened the damn box. And you know what was in it? Another freaking plastic tomb! Somethig else she can haul me outside in, so the sticky people can try to touch me and scream at me. Why the hell does anyone need two of those things???

When the man in the brown truck brings a box, it's not fair to just set it down and not open it. Open the box! Come on already! I don't care if you already know what's in it, open the box already! I want the freaking box!

Any discussion that begins with “We need to talk about your bathroom habits” is bound to be one sided. Yeah. One sided. I am not going to sit here and listen to the criticisms of the naturally occurring effects of having a digestive system.

Look, people, you try using a litterbox. Give up the big white throne litterbox and use the real one. Let’s see how well you do trying to squat in a little box of sand and have perfect aim. Let’s see how wellyou keep the litter in the box. Go ahead. Try it.

Oh, but first, tape fur to your feet. Then try to get out of the box without leaving a little bit of litter trailing behind you. And let’s not forget the important act of burying your waste—come on, face it. The box is not the biggest thing in the world, the litter gets wet, so yeah, once in a while some is going to fly out and stick to the wall. Deal with it!

Your world is not going to come to an end if you have to sweep stray litter up once in a while, and your fingers will not fall off if you occasionally have to pick up a piece of poop that didn’t quite make it into the box.

And if you try to have this little talk with me again, I’m going to start using the bathtub instead. Let’s see how you like cleaning that up.

They took me outside again the day before yesterday. Not only did I have to put up with the Sticky People, but the Man kept running a stick over the plastic tomb, and also kept sticking it through the slats at me. What the hell is wrong with these people? I’m not a fricking dog that has to be let out everyday because he’s too stupid to use a litter box. I’m a cat, People, a feline. I’m perfectly all right with staying inside where it’s safe and quiet.

When the Woman took me back inside and opened the door to my tomb, I bit her.

Yeah, I said it. I bit her. And she deserved it. I bet she won’t be doing that for a while now, eh?

My stuff is going missing, and I don't like it one bit. First the nice loveseat upon which I occasionally napped suddenly vanished, and today it's the piano. And not just that, the bench I sat on to look out the front door went with it. The Woman keeps going through things and throwing stuff away... I'm afraid if I'm not careful, my bed will be next. Or worse, me!

This just isn't right. And I have the feeling things are only going to get worse...

They took me outside! ALL THE WAY OUTSIDE!!! LOOK!
I mean, come on! Not only did they shove me inside that plastic tomb, but they took me outside where all the sticky little creatures were playing. LOOK! They stuck their fingers in to try to touch me, they laughed, they were loud, and little littlest one...oh crap, he actually banged on it!

Worse yet, I could smell food on their germy little hands, but did I get any? Was there a reward for me not biting their dirty little fingers off?

Hell no! I just had to sit there and take it for like FIVE MINUTES!

Surely, this is poop-on-the pillow worthy.

I'm trying to figure out the point of the Woman's recent flurry of activity. There used to be all these boxes in my private little litter box room, and since they didn't keep me from what I needed to do in there, I didn't mind them. But now she's taking the boxes out, to another room, where she picks through them, as if she doesn't know what's in there.

Hello? Does she not remember that she's the one who put that stuff in those boxes?

It's harmless enough, and it keeps her occupied so that she's not bugging me, but she's not leaving any boxes empty for me! I don't ask for much, and I did notice the other day that my see-through box seems to be missing...so why won't she leave just one of those boxes empty for me? And what is so freaking important about looking in them anyway? If she'd listen I could tell her--nothing important. If there were food in any of them, it'd be bad by now anyway.

I dunno...this just doesn't seem like it's a good thing, at least not for me.

Getting a running start for an early morning wake-up head butt is very effective...it gets a Person out of bed in record time, let me tell you. They don't like it, but it's good for them. Really.