Ever since we moved (I still don't recommend it) the Man has been home every morning, and he gets up-without any prodding-and opens up a can of Stinky Goodness for me. Then he goes and reads the comics in the newspaper, and I wander to the bedroom, where the Woman is still asleep, and I sing to her.
She doesn't seem to appreciate this, but I still do it, because People need some culture, after all. Once I know she hears me (I know this because she either sighs really hard, or says "Stop it, Max!") I go to the bathroom to use the litter box (no, I don't have to be delicate about it. A good meal precedes a good poop, and you know it,) and then I go back and sing to her some more.
One of two things will happen. Either she'll threaten to throw something at me, or she'll get up. Well, actually if she threatens to throw something at me, she still gets up, but most mornings she doesn't threaten.
But...there's a giant Worry forming here.
The Man is home every morning.
This is not right.
Before we moved, most mornings he would get up very, very early (without feeding me) and leave. He'd come back later in the day, but just about every morning he went somewhere, and I know it has something to do with his ability to provide me with Stinky Goodness every day.
If he's here every morning, he's not doing whatever it is he does to get the Stinky Goodness.
Does this mean we're going to run out?
And what do I do if that happens?
I cannot exist on dry food alone!
The Woman has muttered something about "work" and "just a few more days," but I understand time-in a few more days I could starve to death. I don't understand why she's not making him get up and go out every day. Or for that matter, why she doesn't get up and go out every day.
I'll sing her awake every day, I really will.
Anything so I don't starve.