I did not have a bug up my ass, nor was I attacking everything in sight, no matter what the Woman claims. I was simply a little over excited tonight; the Younger Human and his Much Better Smelling Friend came over tonight, and that got me going a little bit. Face it, they're young, they know how to play. My People...eh. Well.
Just when things were going really good-there was really good smelling stuff in the air, and yeah, I wanted some. So you know what the Man did? That bastard got out a thing of my treats and walked down the hall into the bedroom with it. He knew I would follow him. He gets me in there and gives me a scant few treats, and then he shut the freaking door! He locked me in the room! I could smell the real live fresh dead meat they were cooking, and I was pretty sure I could smell shrimp.
I swear, if there had been a phone in that room, I would have dialed 911. Or called the Cat Protection Society.
Later, like forever later, he let me out, and there was shrimp! A whole cut up piece of shrimp in a little bowl for me. I would have preferred two or three whole cut up pieces, but I think they ate the rest of them while I was locked up. Pretty freaking selfish, if you ask me. Some of it was in the trash can, for Pete's Sake. What sane person throws away perfectly good shrimp?
So after that, I might have gone a little berserk. And I might have jumped up and nipped at the Man once or twice or ten times, but it's not like I bit him. And I didn't draw blood or anything. I just ran around at top speed, jumping on things and people, and used my teeth a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit.
Hell, they thought it was funny.
Now that the Younger Human has left with his Friend, I've settled down and am going to go take a nap, so that I can sing joyously for the People at 3 a.m. in the bathroom, where my voice will echo for all to enjoy.
Because I'm just wonderful that way.