Oh wow. I was gonna tell you all about what I've been watching out the back window, but that can wait (it has to do with people insanity and taking baths outside...) because dooods! You have to see the artwork thingy Skeezix's Food Lady made for Daisy Mae Maus!




LOOK AT THAT! Isn't that amazing? You can see more of it on Skeez's blog.

But...best thing about it? She's gonna make another one! You could have your face on some very, very special art, just like Daisy Mae (and the Grate Jeter Harris Hizself...) Skeez's Food Lady is trying to help save the boobies, too, and if you donate to her boobie walk, you'll have a shot at getting a custom made art thingy, too. Doods, this is EXKLOOSIVE (I learned to spell that from Skeexiz) kind of art, you can't just saunter into Tarzhet Booteek and get one. You can go to Skeezix's blog and read all about it or just go here to donate. $5 a shot, but $25 gets you six.

Know what else I like about it?

I got to say BOOBIES again.

Ahhhhahahahahahahaha!

SAVE THEM!!!



=snort=

Sometimes a guy just has to watch what's going on outside...

Heh...



One good thing about all the walking practice the Woman has been doing...since she gets up earlier, I get fed earlier. Sometimes she doesn't feed us before she goes outside to practice, but the Man comes home from passing gas around the same time, and he goes ahead and opens the can since she might be gone all freaking day.

Then on the flip side, I get dinner earlier than I was, too. This meets with my approval.

She says tomorrow she is not going to go outside and practice, so I'm hoping I get some quality lap time. That's been sorely lacking lately...her lap has been woefully unavailable, and I really like napping on it. It's squishy. Not much beats a squishy lap to curl up on.

Well, except for real live fresh dead shrimp. I'd give up a lap nap for some real live fresh dead shrimp.

Niiiiice....the windows are open, the front door is open, and we finally get some fresh air! What a relief. Those people were starting to stink...

All right now...the Woman is still practicing her walking, and let me tell you, it's just a massive FAIL. She's not getting any better, that's for sure. She comes home and instead of having a nice smooth gait--which one would rightly expect from all that practicing--she walks like someone shoved a broomstick up her asterisk.

The whole coordinating the feet and legs must be too much for her to handle, because she spent hours at it this weekend, and what'd she have to show for it? Aside from the broomstick being where it didn't belong? She was soaked in sweat--which means it's just too hard for her--and she stuck all this weird sticky stuff to her feet. She says it's called moleskin, but doods, I went online and looked at pictures of moles, and their skin does NOT look like that, and even if it did, it wouldn't belong on her freaking feet! So all that practicing in the sun must be baking those two or three remaining brain cells.

Really, she should just stop. She's never going to get the hang of it, and this getting up early and leaving the house so that I have to wait for the Man to come home and feed me is just annoying the snot out of me.

But man, you think she'd have figured it out by now.

The Woman likes strawberries and she has them for a snack a lot of the time. It seems like every night it's either strawberries or raspberries, and dang, doods, the strawberries smell really good. So I jump up next to her and she holds one out for me--even if it's the last one--and says "go ahead, you can have a bite," but I never bite it.

I don't get it. Those things smell wicked good, but when I get close it just seems like something I don't want to eat. I keep trying, though...she has one and I want it, she offers and I don't eat it. Go figure.

Oh...and at the risk of being obnoxious--and I apologize for that--now's your chance to maybe win a Kindle e-reader. It's the last prize (for now...there might be something else later but the Woman isn't sure) being offered for donating to the Woman's boobie walk.

Now doods, we have a couple of these in the house, and the People think they're awesome. The Man likes his because it's light and he can carry around these 1000 pages books he enjoys, and the Woman likes it because, well, it's a toy and she's a toy whore. Plus, there are a TON of really cheap GOOD books for it (including MINE!) and I think the people read more now that they have them.

You really want one of these. And I really want to save the boobies. Visit the Woman's training blog at http://awabbitwalking.blogspot.com/ and click on the colorful DONATE FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A PRIZE to toss a few bucks towards the boobies--and every $5 gets you a shot at that Kindle.

Last night I planned on hiding in my mancat cave to get away from all the noise in the neighborhood. you know, the medium sticky people blowing crap up. But...it wasn't too bad. I could hear some boomers going off a few streets over, but it wasn't hide-worthy. so I stayed in the living room with the Woman, and then watched her out the window when she went outside to watch sparklies in the sky.

She stood out there for like fifteen minutes and had to get on her tip toes a few times...whatever floats her boat, I guess. I think she could have seen the same things if she'd stayed inside and pulled a nose hair or two...inside there was cool air coming from the cool air blowing thingies. But no, she stood out there in the hot, and was all proud of herself for thinking of watching from the back yard or something.

Whatever. At least it wasn't too loud.

Ok, so you guys know the Woman (and Jeter's Mom and Skeezix's Food Lady and DKM) are walking for boobies in October, right? The last couple of mornings the Woman has gotten up really early (well, early for her...she thinks it's the buttcrack of dawn but the rest of the world has been up for at least an hour, maybe two) so she can get outside and practice her walking. Because, obviously, she doesn't have the whole one-foot-in-front-of-the-other thing down pat yet.

So this morning I decided to be helpful. She wants to get outside before it gets hot, so I figured I would help her get up before it got hot outside. I jumped up on the bed, got really close to her ear, and said, “Wake up!”

Well. She jumped like I'd clipped battery cables to her boobs and fired up the car. And then she got really rude and grumbled, “It's three-farking-thirty in the freaking morning, Max!”

Well, yeah...isn't that what she wants? It was cool outside, I'm sure of it.

So I told her to get up and save the boobies, and doods...she pushed me off the bed. I mean, it wasn't like she shoved me so hard she launched me, but even in slo-mo, my asterisk was on the ground.

I jumped back up and thought about giving her what-for, but I've learned that when she gets all rude like that and uses not nice words, it's pointless. So I curled up on the bed beside her pillow, making sure I was close to her face, and then...doods...I did it.

I totally farted in her face.

That'll teach her.

---

Doods! The Food Lady is doing an awesome prize thingy for her boob walk. A custom pet portrait! Look at the one she did with the Grate Jeter Harris on it:



$5 gets you a chance at getting one. Hurry up, though, the deadline is July 5th at noon Pacific.

It will make you ded from the cute...

Lately, the Woman has been getting up in the morning; she then says a few not-so-nice words, gets dressed (in shorts...this is both amazing and disturbing. She hates her legs and says they're fat, but come on, Woman, so is the rest of you...), and after she feeds us she goes out to practice walking.

That's right.

She's almost forty-freaking-nine years old and she needs to practice walking. Like, what happens if she doesn't? Is she going to fall flat on her asterisk during the Boobie Walk? I'm pretty sure that if you give me a date 3 months in the future and tell me I'll be walking on that date, I'll still remember how to walk no matter how often I do or don't engage in that particular activity in the meantime.

Seriously, doods, she practices.

(She also sweats profusely while she practices her walking. This is why I licked her armpit. It was wonderfully salty. I would have licked elsewhere, but she slathers herself in a lot of sunscreen, which doesn't taste so good. Her pit, while unpleasant in odor, tasted just fine.)

This morning, though, she got up, put clothes on that aren't shorts, fed us, but didn't go anywhere. She needed to "rest."

Well, hells bells. What does she thinks she's doing when she comes home from all that practicing? She drops onto the little sofa and rests her freaking face off! She does more resting than walking, I can assure you.

So when she was just sitting here doing nothing, I walked up (see, I don't need to practice) and told her to get up and get outside, but she never moved. She mumbled something about "looking at FARK" and "You ate already."

Well now. She's just lazy. So I jumped up on the back of the little sofa, got close to her head, and meowed as loud as I could into her ear GO SAVE THE BOOBIES!!!

But did she get up?

No.

She "rested."

I dunno what it is with people. Either she needs to practice walking or she doesn't, but all I know is that she better keep at it, because there are BOOBIES out there relying on her and all the other boobie walkers to save them. Because, doods, boobies make awesome pillows.

I'm going to let her be a slug today, but tomorrow...she is so getting her asterisk out there and practicing her walking.

There are boobies at stake, dooods, boobies!

Dooods, look what I found on Fark! There's a breakfast cereal just for us!

AND...a packaged dinner!

I dunno about you, but I'm sending the Woman out shopping RIGHT NOW!

Oh man.

I've smelled some pretty awful things in my nine years, a lot of it owing to having lived with Hank the Dog and now Buddah. But dooods? Have you ever smelled a people after they've spent hours walking to nowhere?

I have. And it's not pleasant.

The Woman smells like...well, pee. I don't think she peed on herself, it's more like a cloud around her. She says it's her sweat, she just sweats ammonia or something that smells like ammonia, but doods, I know what pee smells like. And she smells like PEE.

The only redeeming thing is that her armpit tastes pretty good. Very salty.

Oh, she wasn't happy when I took a lick, but she was the one sitting there leaning back with her arms over her head. Those pits were fair game.

Today, I am nine.
And you know what? I think the people remembered.
I looked in the fridge, and there's real live fresh dead shrimp in there.
If there's shrimp, it's a happy birthday!

Yo...remember how the Woman is walking for boobies because Jeter's Mom held her down and FORCED her to say she'd do it? I think there was a threat of head shaving or soemthing like that involved...

Anyway, the Woman has more prizes...So far in July she's giving away three spiffy things. The previously mentioned GoFit thingy, and now in the prize pool is an awesome Stuhrling watch, and, thanks to some dood who doesn't want to say who he is but shall remain UndrCvr, an AMAZON KINDLE!



Seriously. A Kindle.

To see pictures of them and to donate ('cause every $5 gets you a shot at ALL the prizes) visit Rocking The Pink or A Wabbit Walking.

Do it for the Boobies!!!

OMYGAWD, Dooods...you have to look at this slideshow:

Clicky Here

CATIOS! And high walkway thingies! I keep BEGGING the people to enclose the patio like this so we can have a catio of our own, but no...so far they haven't done it.

There has to be a way to get them to do it. I mean, the Man has been working on the patio cover, pulling down the old top so they can put a new one on it. They could add the stuff to turn it into a catio...right????

I have to figure out a way to convince them...

"It's hot outside!" the people keep whining. "Hot!"

So explain to me why they keep going outside? The Man was out there a good part of the day ripping some of the patio cover apart; he only got like a corner of it off, but he was still outside when the box thing by the TV said it was like 95 out there, and when he took a break, they both went outside again!

Look, we have a cold air blowing thingy so it was nice and comfy inside. But still, they kept whining about how hot it was, and then kept going out there!

I have no complaints, because I'm smart enough to stay inside, and plus they came home with like a hundred cans of Stinky Goodness, but still... Outside + Hot = Stay Inside.

It's very basic math.

Even a caveman people could do it.

Boobies!

Sheesh, I haven't been able to blog for over a week, and what does the Woman want from me?

Pimping.

She wants me to pimp her begging-for-money effort. Like I would beg on her behalf for anything.

But she does have control of the crunchy treats, so...

She has a new prize up for grabs at her Begging Blog (aka "Rockin' the Pink) and it's actually a pretty good one. Something a lot of people will find useful, I think.

It's this thingy people can wear on their arm and it tells them how active they are (or aren't) and how many calories they're burning and how many steps they've taken. It's supposed to be a Really Big Deal, and something people want.

Every $5 you donate towards her walk is a chance at winning it. Visit her Walking Blog or Rockin' the Pink for more details.

Because I want it to get stuck in your heads...

Everyone! Look! FIN WROTE A BOOK!!!!



I am so excited, I can't wait to get my copy!

---

Rockin' The Pink