June 27, 2010

Lately, the Woman has been getting up in the morning; she then says a few not-so-nice words, gets dressed (in shorts...this is both amazing and disturbing. She hates her legs and says they're fat, but come on, Woman, so is the rest of you...), and after she feeds us she goes out to practice walking.

That's right.

She's almost forty-freaking-nine years old and she needs to practice walking. Like, what happens if she doesn't? Is she going to fall flat on her asterisk during the Boobie Walk? I'm pretty sure that if you give me a date 3 months in the future and tell me I'll be walking on that date, I'll still remember how to walk no matter how often I do or don't engage in that particular activity in the meantime.

Seriously, doods, she practices.

(She also sweats profusely while she practices her walking. This is why I licked her armpit. It was wonderfully salty. I would have licked elsewhere, but she slathers herself in a lot of sunscreen, which doesn't taste so good. Her pit, while unpleasant in odor, tasted just fine.)

This morning, though, she got up, put clothes on that aren't shorts, fed us, but didn't go anywhere. She needed to "rest."

Well, hells bells. What does she thinks she's doing when she comes home from all that practicing? She drops onto the little sofa and rests her freaking face off! She does more resting than walking, I can assure you.

So when she was just sitting here doing nothing, I walked up (see, I don't need to practice) and told her to get up and get outside, but she never moved. She mumbled something about "looking at FARK" and "You ate already."

Well now. She's just lazy. So I jumped up on the back of the little sofa, got close to her head, and meowed as loud as I could into her ear GO SAVE THE BOOBIES!!!

But did she get up?


She "rested."

I dunno what it is with people. Either she needs to practice walking or she doesn't, but all I know is that she better keep at it, because there are BOOBIES out there relying on her and all the other boobie walkers to save them. Because, doods, boobies make awesome pillows.

I'm going to let her be a slug today, but tomorrow...she is so getting her asterisk out there and practicing her walking.

There are boobies at stake, dooods, boobies!


Marti said...

Max, the woman needs her rest days and her walk days.

Max, did you see the video of the British cat who just got bionic hind feet? That kitty just started walking on them without even having to practice first. Cats are such natural walkers!

Gemini and Ichiro said...

Humans are so weird...

Quill and Greyson said...

YOU'RE dedication to saving boobies is pawsome Max! Thank Cod for you!

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

Keep her going, Max. SHe has to save the boobies!

Jana said...

Poor humans. We shudder to think what in the world they would do without us cats.
Boobies are definitely good pillows - thanks for all you're doing to help keep the Woman on track in the fight to save them.
~Casper and Angel~

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Yo, ease up on her Max! Even GOD rested on the 7th day, you know! And he didn't even have to walk anywhere!

The Furry Bambinos said...

Weird how humans like to practice before doing stuff. Like, two years ago when Aunt Patty and Uncle Chris got married, they had a practice dinner the night before the wedding and reception. As if they would forget how to eat and drink!

Padre, Panda Bear, Meerkat, Cookie, and Caramel

Diane G. said...

Just humor her, Max. That's what we do!

Moe and Carmela

Karen Jo said...

Keep her on her toes, Max. The boobies need her. They do make great pillows.


Teddy Westlife said...

I'm pretty sure you keep the woman walking on all the other days.

Anonymous said...

hahaha "GO SAVE THE BOOBIES!!!" i was having a boring morning til i readed that.

The Meezers or Billy said...

our the mom needs a lot of practice walking - she walks into walls and almost falls ofur the railing into the living room on a regular basis.

Amy & the house of cats said...

Well Max, we are all for saving the boobies, but we understand at least part of that posts problem - our mom gets distracted by Fark a lot too.

To be fair, she says there are boobies on there, but she also says it is not the smae thing as what your mom should be doing.

And hey walking is tough - I mean, you have to be what, like a year old if you are a human to do it - by one us cats are charging around like crazy - human legs must have some issues that make them 1) not learn right away and 2) need to practice.

Surfer Boi said...

the kitty cats are so cute in this blog! Humans are weird in their eyes