Seriously. For reals. The one I have now is borderline useless, what with her "educated" opinions and control over the laptop.
Like tonight. She felt like working from her comfy chair in front of the TV (after she colored in a coloring book like a 7 year old) so I lounged on the back of the chair near her head. It was an ideal position, because I can see what she's typing, and that makes it easier to correct her mistakes. Sometimes we disagree on dialog, but that's just because she has a people brain and not a cat brain, so even though I tell her what to type, her brain translated it into something different.
But man, when she totally changes my words? That's a deal breaker, right?
Like tonight. My narrator is a cat named Wick, and he was talking about being hissed off. So that's what I told her to say. Hissed off.
But what did she type?
TICKED OFF.
That's not remotely the same. First off, Wick doesn't have ticks. He's a royal kitty, and very hygienic. And being a kitty, he hisses.
HE'S HISSED OFF, WOMAN.
There are so many more things like that. It makes writing exhausting. But the story is good, so I'm keeping at it, but I really do think I need someone else to type my thinks, someone who doesn't edit me as she goes along.
Oh, and I totally won that battle. Maybe because I bit her hair and warned her that her ear was really close to my teeth...
Like tonight. She felt like working from her comfy chair in front of the TV (after she colored in a coloring book like a 7 year old) so I lounged on the back of the chair near her head. It was an ideal position, because I can see what she's typing, and that makes it easier to correct her mistakes. Sometimes we disagree on dialog, but that's just because she has a people brain and not a cat brain, so even though I tell her what to type, her brain translated it into something different.
But man, when she totally changes my words? That's a deal breaker, right?
Like tonight. My narrator is a cat named Wick, and he was talking about being hissed off. So that's what I told her to say. Hissed off.
But what did she type?
TICKED OFF.
That's not remotely the same. First off, Wick doesn't have ticks. He's a royal kitty, and very hygienic. And being a kitty, he hisses.
HE'S HISSED OFF, WOMAN.
There are so many more things like that. It makes writing exhausting. But the story is good, so I'm keeping at it, but I really do think I need someone else to type my thinks, someone who doesn't edit me as she goes along.
Oh, and I totally won that battle. Maybe because I bit her hair and warned her that her ear was really close to my teeth...
11 comments:
That definitely can wear on your patience Max. A weekly timed thwack upside the head is a necessary thing. Ours colors all the time too, cutting into brushies and cuddling time.
...well timed thwack....
Hey at least your person sort of takes your dictation. Mine keeps saying she's busy with her own work so I don't even get to blog any more!
Aw, the pain of being a writer without trained staff! Such tragedy! However, it might be best to be gentle. Humans are frail and easily forget crunchy treats whem whacked on the head or meowed at in angry tone! If you fire her, your new book will be unpublished history! Good luck Mr. Awesome.
Great win Max! Hissed off sounds sooo much more appropriate. But don't be asking our mom bean to be your dictation taker 'cuz she's really bad at it. And slow, furry slow.
Sasha, Sami, & Saku
If you are hissed, you are hissed. We don't get ticked. AT least not unless we go outside.
it's HISSED off, how dare she efen think of changing your werds.
We are CONSTANTLY arguing with TBT about our "werds". So we know what ya mean Max. HE says we are way too mean. WE say we are just honest.
Sounds like you were hissed off..
Now we understand why so many feline writers are so frustrated when they human tippy typers refuse to transpose the language precisely as it was dictated. All us cats know that "hissing" is totally different than "ticking". Also, what is it with so many of our humans wasting time coloring picture books when they could be adoring us cats? Our human claims it is fun & relaxing. We just keep hurling her colored pencils to the floor in hopes that she will give up this juvenile pastime. She wastes good green papers on coloring books when she should be using it to buy us catnip or da bird wands. Hang in there Max. If only we had those opposing thumbs that humans possess we could write volumes. Whether they would comprehend what we have to say is a whole other thing.
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