December 22, 2012

Proof that they need me

Ok, so I have a couple of specific jobs in this house, primarily relating to the Woman and making sure she gets done the things she needs to do. I wake her up every morning at a reasonable hour, because otherwise she would sleep until Too Late, and she doesn't like sleeping until Too Late no matter how much she whines about getting up at Just Right.

Writing awesome books isn't my only job here...
Once she's up, I herd her into the bathroom, march her to the giant litterbox so she can do her business, and then I hop up on the counter and headbutt the medicine cabinet so that she doesn't forget to do drugs take her medications.

After that I herd her down the hall into the kitchen so that she gets herself a fizzy drink, because that's what she likes first thing in the morning. If she doesn't get one, she sits in the living room and forgets, and then she gets so thirsty that it hurts, because there's something broken in her brain. For reals. I'm not being mean. If I make sure she gets a fizzy drink, then it's like she remembers that she needs to drink before it hurts, and she keeps drinking.

She doesn't always need reminders about what to do before she goes to bed, so I don't always keep an eye on her. Which was a mistake last night.

She remembered to grab a drink before she went to bed, and I heard her brushing her teeth because her brushing thingy buzzes, and I know she used the giant litterbox because I heard her make it swallow. But I was in another room and didn't watch all this going on, which was a mistake.

After she went to bed, I needed to tell her that she forgot something, but after all these years she still doesn't understand Cat. Which, when you think about it, shows a lack of intelligence, because *I* understand People. And I'm WAY younger than she is. Anyway, I stood in the hallway yelling at her that she forgot something, but all she did was ask me what the problem was.

So I jumped on the bed and told her, but all she did was try to give me head skritches--which I normally don't mind, but there was stuff to attend to.

I went back into the hallway and tried yelling at her again, but no.

So I jumped up and gave her head butts, then ran, meowing at her.

Doods, it took an hour of me talking and yelling and headbutting to get her to finally realize that I wasn't playing or trying to get petted, I was trying to tell her something important, so she got up and followed me.

Into the living room.

This was in October...yep, it's a repeat
Where she had left the fireplace on.

Look, I love having it on. I love soaking up the warms. And since it's not a wood fireplace and it's gas and in a nice case, it would have been all right, but I know she doesn't want it left on at night, because she does not want an unattended fire.

She learned that from her dad, who did not want a fire in the house, because he once had fire EAT his house when he was a sticky person. So even though our fireplace thingy is about as safe as they come, she doesn't like risking it.

She was very, very upset with herself last night, but she was very, very happy that I wouldn't leave her alone until she got up and turned it off.

I even got crunchy treats! And not just one or two but like SIX.

But, yeah, it's proof that I'm not just a pretty face for the people to admire.

These people need me.


Gemini and Ichiro said...

I'm glad she finally listened and that you got rewarded. That was totally awesome dude!

Sasha + Saku said...

Good work Max! Sometimes we wonders how beans can't learn another language, MOL

Sasha, Sami, & Saku

ladyvyvian said...

Good for you, Max. We don't want anything happening to you,Buddha or Thumper.

Sparkle said...

You are SO smart, Max! Not only did you save your house (well, maybe), you also saved some from your human's gas bill!

Katnip Lounge said...

At the very LEAST you deserve a dozen real live dead shrimps! Prawns, even.

The Island Cats said...

Wow, Max...they really DO need you. We're glad you finally got the woman to understand you.

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

Wowzers Max. That's impressive.
your pals, Morgan & Maisie

Just Ducky said...

Max, you are so good to remind your mum she forgot something. We would be the type to only tell her she didn't feed us.

Unknown said...

Max! Yous deserves an award! As Penelope - Queen of my Universe, Me is giving yous the Most Incredible Cat Of the Year Award!

Quinn and Angel brandi said...

Awesome, Max! What a Safety Watch Cat you are! You deserve lots of good stinky goodness all year!
Way to convince them you really are worth the good stuff!

Shaggy and Scout said...

Excellent job Max! And right before Christmas...the Big Guy should reward you well!
How dang hard is it to learn Cat? Our people can't figure it out either.

Vicat said...

BratCat had to tell me to turn off the stove once. Good thing intelligent kittehs pay attention to things or hoomins just coildn't survive. But hoomins get thumbs.
Go figure

Mr. Hendrix said...

Max you are a hero! Of course we knew that a long time ago, but now there is even more proof.

Awesome job Max! Your beans are smart not to leave a fire unwatched. My mommy's daddy is an electrician and she does lots of stuff like unpluggin and turning off even when other beans think she is weird.

I hope I never have to be a hero like you Max, but if I do, I hope my beans understand me!

Mr. Black said...

Max, they need you, that is for sure! What a great job you did in waking up the woman and then being persistent until she realized you had something important to say!

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

We are very impressed Max. Your treats should be increased on a permanent basis.

Ivan and Izzy from WMD said...

There was never any question for us, Max. I hope you get even more rewards on Catmas, because, you know, you should milk it for all it's worth.

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

Our Mom does not like an un-attended fire in the house either~ You are so good to keep telling her till she got it!

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Marley, and Laz) said...

SIX treats is worth keeping track of the firey thing for!

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Marley, and Laz) said...

Actally, we just thought about this some more (cuz we dint notice at first that it took her AN HOUR ta follow you into the living room).

Jeez, if she had been June Cleaver and Lassie had barked an barked at her, she would have just tossed out a bone, closed the door and little Tiny Tim would have drowned in the well!

You deserve more treats...

The Crew said...

Max, you deserved a whole bag of crunchy treats for all that work!

Kate said...

Dood! Max, you make us kittehs proud! Too bad the hoomins keep forgettin how smart kittehs are, they shud listen to us more offen. And maybe get that Rosetta Stone program to learn Cat. Maybe Sandy Claws can bring that NEXT year for them for Catmas, I'm gonna ask him to bring it for MY Mommy.

Love, Spunky