The Woman likes strawberries and she has them for a snack a lot of the time. It seems like every night it's either strawberries or raspberries, and dang, doods, the strawberries smell really good. So I jump up next to her and she holds one out for me--even if it's the last one--and says "go ahead, you can have a bite," but I never bite it.
I don't get it. Those things smell wicked good, but when I get close it just seems like something I don't want to eat. I keep trying, though...she has one and I want it, she offers and I don't eat it. Go figure.
Oh...and at the risk of being obnoxious--and I apologize for that--now's your chance to maybe win a Kindle e-reader. It's the last prize (for now...there might be something else later but the Woman isn't sure) being offered for donating to the Woman's boobie walk.
Now doods, we have a couple of these in the house, and the People think they're awesome. The Man likes his because it's light and he can carry around these 1000 pages books he enjoys, and the Woman likes it because, well, it's a toy and she's a toy whore. Plus, there are a TON of really cheap GOOD books for it (including MINE!) and I think the people read more now that they have them.
You really want one of these. And I really want to save the boobies. Visit the Woman's training blog at http://awabbitwalking.blogspot.com/ and click on the colorful DONATE FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A PRIZE to toss a few bucks towards the boobies--and every $5 gets you a shot at that Kindle.
July 05, 2010
Last night I planned on hiding in my mancat cave to get away from all the noise in the neighborhood. you know, the medium sticky people blowing crap up. But...it wasn't too bad. I could hear some boomers going off a few streets over, but it wasn't hide-worthy. so I stayed in the living room with the Woman, and then watched her out the window when she went outside to watch sparklies in the sky.
She stood out there for like fifteen minutes and had to get on her tip toes a few times...whatever floats her boat, I guess. I think she could have seen the same things if she'd stayed inside and pulled a nose hair or two...inside there was cool air coming from the cool air blowing thingies. But no, she stood out there in the hot, and was all proud of herself for thinking of watching from the back yard or something.
Whatever. At least it wasn't too loud.
She stood out there for like fifteen minutes and had to get on her tip toes a few times...whatever floats her boat, I guess. I think she could have seen the same things if she'd stayed inside and pulled a nose hair or two...inside there was cool air coming from the cool air blowing thingies. But no, she stood out there in the hot, and was all proud of herself for thinking of watching from the back yard or something.
Whatever. At least it wasn't too loud.
July 03, 2010
Ok, so you guys know the Woman (and Jeter's Mom and Skeezix's Food Lady and DKM) are walking for boobies in October, right? The last couple of mornings the Woman has gotten up really early (well, early for her...she thinks it's the buttcrack of dawn but the rest of the world has been up for at least an hour, maybe two) so she can get outside and practice her walking. Because, obviously, she doesn't have the whole one-foot-in-front-of-the-other thing down pat yet.
So this morning I decided to be helpful. She wants to get outside before it gets hot, so I figured I would help her get up before it got hot outside. I jumped up on the bed, got really close to her ear, and said, “Wake up!”
Well. She jumped like I'd clipped battery cables to her boobs and fired up the car. And then she got really rude and grumbled, “It's three-farking-thirty in the freaking morning, Max!”
Well, yeah...isn't that what she wants? It was cool outside, I'm sure of it.
So I told her to get up and save the boobies, and doods...she pushed me off the bed. I mean, it wasn't like she shoved me so hard she launched me, but even in slo-mo, my asterisk was on the ground.
I jumped back up and thought about giving her what-for, but I've learned that when she gets all rude like that and uses not nice words, it's pointless. So I curled up on the bed beside her pillow, making sure I was close to her face, and then...doods...I did it.
I totally farted in her face.
That'll teach her.
Doods! The Food Lady is doing an awesome prize thingy for her boob walk. A custom pet portrait! Look at the one she did with the Grate Jeter Harris on it:
$5 gets you a chance at getting one. Hurry up, though, the deadline is July 5th at noon Pacific.
So this morning I decided to be helpful. She wants to get outside before it gets hot, so I figured I would help her get up before it got hot outside. I jumped up on the bed, got really close to her ear, and said, “Wake up!”
Well. She jumped like I'd clipped battery cables to her boobs and fired up the car. And then she got really rude and grumbled, “It's three-farking-thirty in the freaking morning, Max!”
Well, yeah...isn't that what she wants? It was cool outside, I'm sure of it.
So I told her to get up and save the boobies, and doods...she pushed me off the bed. I mean, it wasn't like she shoved me so hard she launched me, but even in slo-mo, my asterisk was on the ground.
I jumped back up and thought about giving her what-for, but I've learned that when she gets all rude like that and uses not nice words, it's pointless. So I curled up on the bed beside her pillow, making sure I was close to her face, and then...doods...I did it.
I totally farted in her face.
That'll teach her.
Doods! The Food Lady is doing an awesome prize thingy for her boob walk. A custom pet portrait! Look at the one she did with the Grate Jeter Harris on it:
$5 gets you a chance at getting one. Hurry up, though, the deadline is July 5th at noon Pacific.
June 27, 2010
Lately, the Woman has been getting up in the morning; she then says a few not-so-nice words, gets dressed (in shorts...this is both amazing and disturbing. She hates her legs and says they're fat, but come on, Woman, so is the rest of you...), and after she feeds us she goes out to practice walking.
That's right.
She's almost forty-freaking-nine years old and she needs to practice walking. Like, what happens if she doesn't? Is she going to fall flat on her asterisk during the Boobie Walk? I'm pretty sure that if you give me a date 3 months in the future and tell me I'll be walking on that date, I'll still remember how to walk no matter how often I do or don't engage in that particular activity in the meantime.
Seriously, doods, she practices.
(She also sweats profusely while she practices her walking. This is why I licked her armpit. It was wonderfully salty. I would have licked elsewhere, but she slathers herself in a lot of sunscreen, which doesn't taste so good. Her pit, while unpleasant in odor, tasted just fine.)
This morning, though, she got up, put clothes on that aren't shorts, fed us, but didn't go anywhere. She needed to "rest."
Well, hells bells. What does she thinks she's doing when she comes home from all that practicing? She drops onto the little sofa and rests her freaking face off! She does more resting than walking, I can assure you.
So when she was just sitting here doing nothing, I walked up (see, I don't need to practice) and told her to get up and get outside, but she never moved. She mumbled something about "looking at FARK" and "You ate already."
Well now. She's just lazy. So I jumped up on the back of the little sofa, got close to her head, and meowed as loud as I could into her ear GO SAVE THE BOOBIES!!!
But did she get up?
No.
She "rested."
I dunno what it is with people. Either she needs to practice walking or she doesn't, but all I know is that she better keep at it, because there are BOOBIES out there relying on her and all the other boobie walkers to save them. Because, doods, boobies make awesome pillows.
I'm going to let her be a slug today, but tomorrow...she is so getting her asterisk out there and practicing her walking.
There are boobies at stake, dooods, boobies!
That's right.
She's almost forty-freaking-nine years old and she needs to practice walking. Like, what happens if she doesn't? Is she going to fall flat on her asterisk during the Boobie Walk? I'm pretty sure that if you give me a date 3 months in the future and tell me I'll be walking on that date, I'll still remember how to walk no matter how often I do or don't engage in that particular activity in the meantime.
Seriously, doods, she practices.
(She also sweats profusely while she practices her walking. This is why I licked her armpit. It was wonderfully salty. I would have licked elsewhere, but she slathers herself in a lot of sunscreen, which doesn't taste so good. Her pit, while unpleasant in odor, tasted just fine.)
This morning, though, she got up, put clothes on that aren't shorts, fed us, but didn't go anywhere. She needed to "rest."
Well, hells bells. What does she thinks she's doing when she comes home from all that practicing? She drops onto the little sofa and rests her freaking face off! She does more resting than walking, I can assure you.
So when she was just sitting here doing nothing, I walked up (see, I don't need to practice) and told her to get up and get outside, but she never moved. She mumbled something about "looking at FARK" and "You ate already."
Well now. She's just lazy. So I jumped up on the back of the little sofa, got close to her head, and meowed as loud as I could into her ear GO SAVE THE BOOBIES!!!
But did she get up?
No.
She "rested."
I dunno what it is with people. Either she needs to practice walking or she doesn't, but all I know is that she better keep at it, because there are BOOBIES out there relying on her and all the other boobie walkers to save them. Because, doods, boobies make awesome pillows.
I'm going to let her be a slug today, but tomorrow...she is so getting her asterisk out there and practicing her walking.
There are boobies at stake, dooods, boobies!
June 26, 2010
June 25, 2010
Oh man.
I've smelled some pretty awful things in my nine years, a lot of it owing to having lived with Hank the Dog and now Buddah. But dooods? Have you ever smelled a people after they've spent hours walking to nowhere?
I have. And it's not pleasant.
The Woman smells like...well, pee. I don't think she peed on herself, it's more like a cloud around her. She says it's her sweat, she just sweats ammonia or something that smells like ammonia, but doods, I know what pee smells like. And she smells like PEE.
The only redeeming thing is that her armpit tastes pretty good. Very salty.
Oh, she wasn't happy when I took a lick, but she was the one sitting there leaning back with her arms over her head. Those pits were fair game.
I've smelled some pretty awful things in my nine years, a lot of it owing to having lived with Hank the Dog and now Buddah. But dooods? Have you ever smelled a people after they've spent hours walking to nowhere?
I have. And it's not pleasant.
The Woman smells like...well, pee. I don't think she peed on herself, it's more like a cloud around her. She says it's her sweat, she just sweats ammonia or something that smells like ammonia, but doods, I know what pee smells like. And she smells like PEE.
The only redeeming thing is that her armpit tastes pretty good. Very salty.
Oh, she wasn't happy when I took a lick, but she was the one sitting there leaning back with her arms over her head. Those pits were fair game.
June 20, 2010
June 18, 2010
Yo...remember how the Woman is walking for boobies because Jeter's Mom held her down and FORCED her to say she'd do it? I think there was a threat of head shaving or soemthing like that involved...
Anyway, the Woman has more prizes...So far in July she's giving away three spiffy things. The previously mentioned GoFit thingy, and now in the prize pool is an awesome Stuhrling watch, and, thanks to some dood who doesn't want to say who he is but shall remain UndrCvr, an AMAZON KINDLE!
Seriously. A Kindle.
To see pictures of them and to donate ('cause every $5 gets you a shot at ALL the prizes) visit Rocking The Pink or A Wabbit Walking.
Do it for the Boobies!!!
Anyway, the Woman has more prizes...So far in July she's giving away three spiffy things. The previously mentioned GoFit thingy, and now in the prize pool is an awesome Stuhrling watch, and, thanks to some dood who doesn't want to say who he is but shall remain UndrCvr, an AMAZON KINDLE!To see pictures of them and to donate ('cause every $5 gets you a shot at ALL the prizes) visit Rocking The Pink or A Wabbit Walking.
Do it for the Boobies!!!
OMYGAWD, Dooods...you have to look at this slideshow:
CATIOS! And high walkway thingies! I keep BEGGING the people to enclose the patio like this so we can have a catio of our own, but no...so far they haven't done it.
There has to be a way to get them to do it. I mean, the Man has been working on the patio cover, pulling down the old top so they can put a new one on it. They could add the stuff to turn it into a catio...right????
I have to figure out a way to convince them...
June 13, 2010
"It's hot outside!" the people keep whining. "Hot!"
So explain to me why they keep going outside? The Man was out there a good part of the day ripping some of the patio cover apart; he only got like a corner of it off, but he was still outside when the box thing by the TV said it was like 95 out there, and when he took a break, they both went outside again!
Look, we have a cold air blowing thingy so it was nice and comfy inside. But still, they kept whining about how hot it was, and then kept going out there!
I have no complaints, because I'm smart enough to stay inside, and plus they came home with like a hundred cans of Stinky Goodness, but still... Outside + Hot = Stay Inside.
It's very basic math.
Even acaveman people could do it.
So explain to me why they keep going outside? The Man was out there a good part of the day ripping some of the patio cover apart; he only got like a corner of it off, but he was still outside when the box thing by the TV said it was like 95 out there, and when he took a break, they both went outside again!
Look, we have a cold air blowing thingy so it was nice and comfy inside. But still, they kept whining about how hot it was, and then kept going out there!
I have no complaints, because I'm smart enough to stay inside, and plus they came home with like a hundred cans of Stinky Goodness, but still... Outside + Hot = Stay Inside.
It's very basic math.
Even a
June 10, 2010
Sheesh, I haven't been able to blog for over a week, and what does the Woman want from me?
Pimping.
She wants me to pimp her begging-for-money effort. Like I would beg on her behalf for anything.
But she does have control of the crunchy treats, so...
She has a new prize up for grabs at her Begging Blog (aka "Rockin' the Pink) and it's actually a pretty good one. Something a lot of people will find useful, I think.
It's this thingy people can wear on their arm and it tells them how active they are (or aren't) and how many calories they're burning and how many steps they've taken. It's supposed to be a Really Big Deal, and something people want.
Every $5 you donate towards her walk is a chance at winning it. Visit her Walking Blog or Rockin' the Pink for more details.
Pimping.
She wants me to pimp her begging-for-money effort. Like I would beg on her behalf for anything.
But she does have control of the crunchy treats, so...
She has a new prize up for grabs at her Begging Blog (aka "Rockin' the Pink) and it's actually a pretty good one. Something a lot of people will find useful, I think.
Every $5 you donate towards her walk is a chance at winning it. Visit her Walking Blog or Rockin' the Pink for more details.
May 27, 2010
May 25, 2010
All right, the Woman has no pride, and she's gonna start poking people to donate money since no one will be at the finish line of that long walk dangling donuts in front of her.
But...if you donate, you get chances at winning prizes, and the first one goes up a little after midnight. You want to win, you know you do.
For every $5 you donate, you have a chance at winning.
Rockin' the Pink
Go check it out...the first prizes are handmade by a really cool blogger who jumped in and offered to make these. And I've seen 'em up close...they are wicked nice.
There are gonna be a lot of prizes over the next few months, but don't worry about donating early and not being eligible later...everyone who donates is eligible for all the prizes through the whole thing!
Coolness will abound!
Now, let's be real...a lot of people want to donate but can't. Please don't feel bad about that. Real life is sucky sometimes, so if you can't, you can't, and we understand that. we don't want anyone donating if it means hurting themselves. But if you can...think of the boobies, doods! THE BOOBIES!!!
BOOBIES!!!
But...if you donate, you get chances at winning prizes, and the first one goes up a little after midnight. You want to win, you know you do.
For every $5 you donate, you have a chance at winning.
Rockin' the Pink
Go check it out...the first prizes are handmade by a really cool blogger who jumped in and offered to make these. And I've seen 'em up close...they are wicked nice.
There are gonna be a lot of prizes over the next few months, but don't worry about donating early and not being eligible later...everyone who donates is eligible for all the prizes through the whole thing!
Coolness will abound!
Now, let's be real...a lot of people want to donate but can't. Please don't feel bad about that. Real life is sucky sometimes, so if you can't, you can't, and we understand that. we don't want anyone donating if it means hurting themselves. But if you can...think of the boobies, doods! THE BOOBIES!!!
BOOBIES!!!
May 19, 2010
Dooods! You are not going to believe what just happened! Seriously!
I was sitting by the front door, relaxing in the nice breeze that was coming through the screen, minding my own fricking business thank you very much, thinking about how awesome the air ruffling my fur felt, when the neighbor's giant brown DOG walked up to the door AND BARKED AT ME!
Like, WTF?
Why was he even out? He just waltzed up like he owned the place, looked and me, and BARKED. And he doesn't have a yappy bark, he got this huge, deep BARK.
Not bark but BARK.
I may be scarred for life.
I'm going to spend the rest of the day in my mancat cave. At least the worst thing that can happen there is that Buddah will wander in, but at least he won't bark...
I was sitting by the front door, relaxing in the nice breeze that was coming through the screen, minding my own fricking business thank you very much, thinking about how awesome the air ruffling my fur felt, when the neighbor's giant brown DOG walked up to the door AND BARKED AT ME!
Like, WTF?
Why was he even out? He just waltzed up like he owned the place, looked and me, and BARKED. And he doesn't have a yappy bark, he got this huge, deep BARK.
Not bark but BARK.
I may be scarred for life.
I'm going to spend the rest of the day in my mancat cave. At least the worst thing that can happen there is that Buddah will wander in, but at least he won't bark...
May 13, 2010
Sheesh, Dooods, you know what? The Woman got up IN THE MORNING, like 2 hours early, and I was thinking "Score! We get breakfast early!" but you know what she did? She freaking ate her OWN breakfast, and then left! We sat there watching her open the door like, damn, this is harsh, but she just said, "I'll be back in a little while and you can eat then."
Well cripes, how were we supposed to know what her definition of "a little while" might be at that moment? It could have been 10 minutes, it could have been 10 hours. For all we knew we were going ALL DAY without getting breakfast.
Why the fark couldn't she feed us when she was feeding herself?
When she got back she didn't even say she was sorry, she just said she'd gotten back by our normal breakfast time, but dangit, when you wake a kitty's tummy up early, you should fill it early!
Well cripes, how were we supposed to know what her definition of "a little while" might be at that moment? It could have been 10 minutes, it could have been 10 hours. For all we knew we were going ALL DAY without getting breakfast.
Why the fark couldn't she feed us when she was feeding herself?
When she got back she didn't even say she was sorry, she just said she'd gotten back by our normal breakfast time, but dangit, when you wake a kitty's tummy up early, you should fill it early!
May 09, 2010
Dooods...the Woman has lost her mind. Really. It just went POOF, shot out her ears in this chalky cloud of dust, and was gone. She says it's all the fault of Jeter's Mom and Skeezix's FL, and and Diva Kitty's Mom but really? I think she's just gone a little nuts.
She's gonna try to walk for boobies this year.
Yeah. Her. Walking. For 3 days. If there's not a dozen donuts at the finish line I don't know how she'll make it, but hey, I'm all for the cause. It means that between now and October I get to say BOOBIES! a lot.
She's gonna have to raise some fundage for this, so we're going to sit down and figure out some fun ways--there will probably be PRIZES!--so that we can beg for quarters without being too obnoxious.
But, yeah. On Mother's Day 2010, she went a little nuts, and signed up for something that kinda scares her enough that she mighta peed herself a little. Oh, she wont admit to that, but we all know she did...
She's gonna try to walk for boobies this year.
Yeah. Her. Walking. For 3 days. If there's not a dozen donuts at the finish line I don't know how she'll make it, but hey, I'm all for the cause. It means that between now and October I get to say BOOBIES! a lot.
She's gonna have to raise some fundage for this, so we're going to sit down and figure out some fun ways--there will probably be PRIZES!--so that we can beg for quarters without being too obnoxious.
But, yeah. On Mother's Day 2010, she went a little nuts, and signed up for something that kinda scares her enough that she mighta peed herself a little. Oh, she wont admit to that, but we all know she did...
May 07, 2010
I gots to ask cause I gots to know...how many of your people out there are walking for boobies in the 60 mile 3 day boobies walk this year? And if you're walking for boobies, what's your blog page or donation page or whatever URL? 'Cause I'll put links in my sidebar and I'm gonna try to figure out a way to raise a little money for it this year again.
So...if you or your person is doing it...please comment.
So...if you or your person is doing it...please comment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)