November 29, 2018

Updated Update Redux

I was doing this at 5:30 this morning: sitting on the arm of the Woman's chair, staring at her.

This is a perfectly normal thing for me to do; I spend a lot of time trying to make her put the computer down so I can sit in her lap. This last week I haven't had to stare--she felt bad for me so I got a lap anytime I wanted and she got no work done.

But this morning she looked at me and said, "Clearly, you feel all right, cat. Here I thought you were going to die, but apparently you just caught a bug."

I refuted that; I do not eat bugs.

But then she said the horrible, awful, no good thing: "You owe me $500 in vet bills, you little shit."

Well now. *I* did not ask her to take me to the stabby guy. *I* did not consent to the theft of my blood, and I certainly did not tell her that since they were already taking my blood, they might as well do the super-expensive send-to-an-outside-lab tests. No, that was all on her.

She can bill me if she wants, but I'm totally not paying.

And I'm still gonna make her get up in the middle of the night to feed me. That kinda power is GLORIOUS.


Vicat said...

You could really yank her chain by pretending to not want to eat, make her open 7 different kinds, then inhale the first one she opens. Ot's Brat's go-to move.

Gigi said...

Max, she should be paying YOU for feeling better. Just think how much better you'd feel if she put, like $100, in your bank account and you could order shrimp delivery on your own.

The Florida Furkids said...

Hard to figure out how humans think. We agree with should get $$$ in YOUR account!

The Florida Furkids

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

We are glad ta read that you seem ta be feeling better, Max. And we are still smiling about the nose-bitey trick. Iza will put a paw on TBTs closed eyelid (which wakes him up pretty quick) but that is about as far as we dare go.

BTW, tell the Woman that your share of the book money should go up, that should end anny billing threats...

Just Ducky said...

If you have to pay her for the stabby place bills, there will be less for toys for the kids.

Angel and Gandalf said...

Max, we're so glad you're feeling better! You're absolutely right, you don't owe your hoomin anything; she owes you for the privilege of having you feeling better!