May 04, 2012

Doods, I have a depressed. Not only did I not get any of that pie, but I've noticed that I haven't been getting much of anything that's not dry crunchy cat food or stinky goodness. Normally when the people have dinner, if I'm very good and don't jump on the table or bite anyone, I get a tiny taste.

But lately...nothing.

Now, the Woman hasn't said anything about a diet or me needing to lose weight, and I think she would do me the courtesy of telling me if the noms were going to dry up because of my stunning girth. A lot of the time lately the people just haven't had dinner because they haven't been home, but they don't bring me anything. And when they have been home, she says, "You can't have any of this." And then she follows it with things like it has onions or it would make flames shoot out my asterisk.

Come on. Why can't they be home for dinner and why can't they have things that *I* like? Where's the real live fresh dead chicken? Where's the real live fresh dead cow? She mumbled something today about pork chops for dinner tonight, but doods, last time they had that I STILL didn't get any, because she said it had Terry's Yaki all over it and there was too much sodium in that for me.

That also begs the questions, who the heck is Terry and why is she yaking on their food?


19 comments:

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Max, you have GOT ta convince yer Beins ta cut off a bit of their meats an cook it separate without nasties on it. TBT does that for us often, unless its something that WE can eat the way HE is eating it.

Ivan from WMD said...

This is sounding bad, Max. Maybe you need to start interviewing new Men and Women.

Sweet Purrfections said...

You're making our mom hungry!

Truffle and Brulee

Gemini and Ichiro said...

That is just so wrong. Not that I ever get human food treats. Probably because I walk away instead of eating them... still they could offer couldn't they?

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

There are so many things wrong at your house! Especially the yack on their food!

The Florida Furkids said...

Those noms sounded good to us until we heard about the yacking on the food!! ewwwww....

The Florida Furkids and Lexi

Myst and Hannah Keenan said...

Max - our Mom says that you (and Buddah too) are more than welcome to come live with us in Vermont! She ALWAYS offers us a taste, doesn't matter if we decide we don't want any. By the way, we are two BEAUTIFUL girl kitties who could care less if you guys don't have your fun bits anymore. We'd still luv ya! Come join us!!

Just Ducky said...

If mum puts stuff on the outside for her, she is nice and cuts some off the inside to give us a taste.

Sorry you aren't getting any tastes.

The Island Cats said...

Max, that sure doesn't sound fair.

Angel Prancer Pie said...

We thinks Mark's Mews has it right. You gotta train your hoomans to cook yours separately. We haf no idea why Terry is yakkin on foods or why they would even eat it!

Sparkle said...

I have come to the conclusion that all humans have food issues.

Shaggy and Scout said...

Max humans have the weirds when it comes to foods! They just do.
Half the time our mom wants salads and nekkid chicken then shes turning around eating pizza & nachos. Go figure.

Gigi said...

You need for the Man and teh Woman to take a little road trip and have the Younger Human come take care of you. Yes, I know there's a danger he'll bring that DDB, but doesn't he usually make you steak and stuff? I think your People NEED a little trip.

The Meezers or Billy said...

that is 57 different kinds of wrong. we think that we need to have a fund raiser to get you your own real live dead something.

Katie Isabella said...

I loved your comment on Spitty's blog and I sure am smiling my kitty smile at these on YOUR blog. And yes, they did you wrong. You deserve your own meats. Mark had a great idea. And as for Terry..she needs furminating!

Gigi said...

Thanks Max for the scoop on That Thing. I will keep an open mind--for now--but signs are not pointing up.

Kat said...

I heartily agree with your sentiments here. Sadly, the humans don't always comply with OUR wishes! For example, I don't see why my maid cannot give me just ONE of the many cans of people tuna fish that she has in the cabinet. How selfish can you get??

Quill and Greyson said...

Max thank you so much for your kind words. Fin thought you were one of the most handsome boys on the CB. Of course you're right too she was the brains in this outfit.

The Crew said...

Oh man, I feel your pain, Max. Mom says that at 23 lb. I'm fat, but I think I look fine and should have anything I want to eat. Can you tell my Mom to give me real live dead chick-hen tonight?

Max S.