May 11, 2004

Okay…This is just wrong…

On a different note… People, you have opposable thumbs. You can open any can in the house and feed yourselves. You can operate the hot box in the kitchen and cook up some perfectly wonderful, tasty treats. You can even pour odd smelling things out of a box and eat them. You don’t need to wait for someone to drag their sorry ass out of bed to open a can of Stinky Goodness, as you can do it yourself.

So why, tell me why, would you sit there in a chair, starting at the idiot box in the living room, hungry? Why would you not just get up and get food? More importantly, why would you disturb my nap because of it?

Really, I’m curled up on the Woman while she sites there and watches some bald guy yell at people on TV, sound asleep, when this horrendous noise jolts me awake. I’m thinking “Holy crap, it’s an earthquake!” but she’s not concerned at all; she’s just watching that damned TV. So I put my head down, and it happens again. It’s her freaking stomach, and it’s growling louder than a dog in the middle of a squirrel attack.

Did she get up to get food? Nooooo… that would be too easy. No, she just sat there like whatever the bald guy was saying was really important (it wasn’t, trust me), and allowed my nap to be ruined by her unwillingness to put something in her stomach to quiet the noise.

Come on, people. I can’t open my own cans, but you sure as hell can. And while you’re at it, share. That stuff might not really be cat food, but it came out of a can and smells like cat food, so it must be cat-edible. Really now.

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