Dooods. There's a blogger we must win over. His name is Rick Lax and he has blogged about dogs being BETTER than cats! (can you fathom???) and aiming an Airzooka at the cat (though I have to admit, I would probably enjoy this. If not, I want one to chase Buddah with.)
I am going to keep an eye on him because he may prove to be somewhat amusing...we must show him the error of his ways and bring him to the Side of Right and Ceiling Cat.
March 26, 2010
Dooods...we forgot Buddah's 5th birthday. And Buddah is mightily upset by this fact, but there's really nothing that can be done about it now. Forgotten is forgotten.
But, to make him feel a little better, I did this:
Oh yeah, I did it. I got on his bed and got my funk all over it.
He can thank me later.
But, to make him feel a little better, I did this:
Oh yeah, I did it. I got on his bed and got my funk all over it.
He can thank me later.
March 22, 2010
OK, the Woman has a couple of friends who have this thingy where people and kitties can ask questions, and they answer them. Kind of like public email, I guess. But I get lots of weird and funny questions sometimes, so I decided to jump on their bandwagon and create an account at the place where the questions can be asked. Bonus: you don't have to go there to ask me a question, you can do it from the little box in the sidebar that says Ask Max Anything.
So ask me! I'll answer anything.
later edited to add: To make it easier to read the answers and for you to be able to comment, the Woman created a new blog, Ask Max Anything. Ask the question here or there, it'll all wind up in my formspring inbox, I'll answer the questions as I get them, and they'll pop up on there, the Ask Max blog, and my Facebook page (if you're my FB friend. If not, why not?)
So ask me! I'll answer anything.
later edited to add: To make it easier to read the answers and for you to be able to comment, the Woman created a new blog, Ask Max Anything. Ask the question here or there, it'll all wind up in my formspring inbox, I'll answer the questions as I get them, and they'll pop up on there, the Ask Max blog, and my Facebook page (if you're my FB friend. If not, why not?)
March 21, 2010
Holy real live fresh dead shrimp on a stick, sometime when I wasn't looking I went over half a million visitors. Half a million doods! That's like, more than a hundred!
It took six and a half freaking years, but still.
Man...six and a half years. Evidently I have a lot to say...
I'm only eight and a half years old, so I probably have a lot more to say still, but I don't think my People will like much of it.
It took six and a half freaking years, but still.
Man...six and a half years. Evidently I have a lot to say...
I'm only eight and a half years old, so I probably have a lot more to say still, but I don't think my People will like much of it.
March 13, 2010
People are starting to get all excited over losing an hour tonight. Really. They're all "Oooh, the time is changing! Ooooh, I don't like this! Oooh, we need to keep our hour, I want to sleep!"
People.
You're not losing an hour. You're just time shifting. There will still be 24 hours in a day, the moon will rise and the sun will still set, and if you're that worried about losing an hour of sleep, keep your butts in bed!
We need to go to Daylight Savings Time. We need it! You know why we need it?
Because the Woman is a whiny little witch-widda-b, and she's night blind, and I'm farking tired of hearing about it getting dark too early, and I need the time t change so that my head doesn't pop and make my brains splatter all over the walls.
People.
You're not losing an hour. You're just time shifting. There will still be 24 hours in a day, the moon will rise and the sun will still set, and if you're that worried about losing an hour of sleep, keep your butts in bed!
We need to go to Daylight Savings Time. We need it! You know why we need it?
Because the Woman is a whiny little witch-widda-b, and she's night blind, and I'm farking tired of hearing about it getting dark too early, and I need the time t change so that my head doesn't pop and make my brains splatter all over the walls.
March 07, 2010
March 04, 2010
I survived. A few hours after the People left to go do stupid things in the snow, the Younger Human showed up with that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS. Now, I knew he was coming, but when he wasn't there right after the People left, I figured maybe he changed his mind, so I relaxed on top of the climbing tower in the library.
Mistake.
I was half asleep and then the door was being opened, and there he was in all his yapping, spastic glory. So I ran as fast as I could and I freaking flew over the hall gate, headed straight for the man's closet, and stayed there for 125 hours, or at least until the People came home and that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS left.
Luckily for me, the People decided to come home a day early because they're wimps and wanted to get ahead of 18" of snow that was headed for the mountains. And I was like, "Duh, you need snow to do those stupid things on, so you're leaving because it's going to snow?" but they were all "But there was going to be wind too, and we're very delicate creatures and don't want to die on the windy mountain roads," so I was like, "Yeah, whatever, at least that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS is gone."
Just to be sure, I stayed up on high things for a while, because you never know when a dog is going to hide and then jump out and surprise you.
They say they're going to go do stupid things in the snow again next week, but they're not going to be gone overnight, so I don't have to worry about hiding in the closet.
And you guys know, I'm not hiding because I'm afraid of Butters, right? I'm hiding because HE MIGHT EAT ME.
Mistake.
I was half asleep and then the door was being opened, and there he was in all his yapping, spastic glory. So I ran as fast as I could and I freaking flew over the hall gate, headed straight for the man's closet, and stayed there for 125 hours, or at least until the People came home and that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS left.
Luckily for me, the People decided to come home a day early because they're wimps and wanted to get ahead of 18" of snow that was headed for the mountains. And I was like, "Duh, you need snow to do those stupid things on, so you're leaving because it's going to snow?" but they were all "But there was going to be wind too, and we're very delicate creatures and don't want to die on the windy mountain roads," so I was like, "Yeah, whatever, at least that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS is gone."
Just to be sure, I stayed up on high things for a while, because you never know when a dog is going to hide and then jump out and surprise you.
They say they're going to go do stupid things in the snow again next week, but they're not going to be gone overnight, so I don't have to worry about hiding in the closet.
And you guys know, I'm not hiding because I'm afraid of Butters, right? I'm hiding because HE MIGHT EAT ME.
February 28, 2010
Man, I got really excited tonight because the Woman set up a second food thingy in the big bathroom, really close to the closet I like to hide in. And then she put out a giant bowl of water. So I was thinking score!, because, dooods, tons of food!
But then I saw the bags by the door and realized that tomorrow is when the People are going to go do stupid things to themselves in the snow, and that Damned Dog Butters is coming over. So my excitement turned to crushing disappointment. I should have expected that.
At least the people put food where I can get to it without having to look at that dog. I don't know what they expect me to do about a litter box, because I'm probably not coming out of that bathroom until he's gone. I suppose I can poop in the bathtub...normally I'd think of pooping in the closet, but not if I'm gonna live there for a day or two.
I don't know what Buddah's plans are, but I figure with that dog here, it's every cat for himself. The closet is mine.
But then I saw the bags by the door and realized that tomorrow is when the People are going to go do stupid things to themselves in the snow, and that Damned Dog Butters is coming over. So my excitement turned to crushing disappointment. I should have expected that.
At least the people put food where I can get to it without having to look at that dog. I don't know what they expect me to do about a litter box, because I'm probably not coming out of that bathroom until he's gone. I suppose I can poop in the bathtub...normally I'd think of pooping in the closet, but not if I'm gonna live there for a day or two.
I don't know what Buddah's plans are, but I figure with that dog here, it's every cat for himself. The closet is mine.
February 24, 2010
Want to know how I spent my day? Do you?
I'll tell you.
I spent my day in the freaking closet in the big bedroom, curled up on top of the Man's dirty laundry.
Want to know why I spent my day there? Do you?
I'll tell you.
I spent all day there because THAT DAMNED DOG BUTTERS WAS HERE! He had the entire front half of the house to himself where he ran around making the People think he's just soooo cute, while I had to hide to keep him from eating me. Because he would, you know. He sees me and I'm pretty sure he sees a glorious 16 pound snack.
Which is really something, when you consider he probably only weight 12 pounds or so. Maybe 14. Or 20. But I'm pretty sure he could eat me.
You want to know what's worse? Do you?
I'll tell you.
Next week HE IS GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT!
I chit you not. The People are going to go strap sticks to their feet and try to not die in the snow, and the Younger Human is going to bring that damned dog Butters here and stay ALL NIGHT LONG.
I am going to have to just live in the closet.
My life is over.
I'll tell you.
I spent my day in the freaking closet in the big bedroom, curled up on top of the Man's dirty laundry.
Want to know why I spent my day there? Do you?
I'll tell you.
I spent all day there because THAT DAMNED DOG BUTTERS WAS HERE! He had the entire front half of the house to himself where he ran around making the People think he's just soooo cute, while I had to hide to keep him from eating me. Because he would, you know. He sees me and I'm pretty sure he sees a glorious 16 pound snack.
Which is really something, when you consider he probably only weight 12 pounds or so. Maybe 14. Or 20. But I'm pretty sure he could eat me.
You want to know what's worse? Do you?
I'll tell you.
Next week HE IS GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT!
I chit you not. The People are going to go strap sticks to their feet and try to not die in the snow, and the Younger Human is going to bring that damned dog Butters here and stay ALL NIGHT LONG.
I am going to have to just live in the closet.
My life is over.
February 22, 2010
My Day in pictures...
Dooood...you see what I see?
Clearly, it's mine and not yours...
Just wait a while...I might leave you some...
=sigh= The Woman took pity, didn't she? You'll never learn this way...
This is like kitty nirvana...food on demand! I don't think we get to keep it forever, though, the People just want to get us used to it because they're planning on going somewhere soon to kill themselves in the snow and won't come home to feed us at night.
It's not Stinky Goodness, but for a pinch it'll do.
I'm not sure what they expect Buddah to eat. It's not like I plan on sharing with him...
Dooood...you see what I see?
Clearly, it's mine and not yours...
Just wait a while...I might leave you some...
=sigh= The Woman took pity, didn't she? You'll never learn this way...
This is like kitty nirvana...food on demand! I don't think we get to keep it forever, though, the People just want to get us used to it because they're planning on going somewhere soon to kill themselves in the snow and won't come home to feed us at night.
It's not Stinky Goodness, but for a pinch it'll do.
I'm not sure what they expect Buddah to eat. It's not like I plan on sharing with him...
February 18, 2010
February 17, 2010
Remember him?My Younger Human?
In just 10 days he's going to jump in some really, really cold water, all to benefit the Special Olympics.
He's raised a few bucks, but could always use a few more. One buck, two bucks...and not the vishus deer type bucks, it all helps.
He has a donation page.
I'm just sayin'...
February 15, 2010
February 14, 2010
February 11, 2010
Hey, guys, I have a new friend, and I think he decided to be my friend because of my massive disappointment with Denny! His name is Apple Bee, but I'm pretty sure he prefers to be called Mr. Bee, mostly because that's a girly kind of name and I really doubt he's a girly kind of guy.
He's a man's man, and I know this because, dooods... he sent me steak! Seriously! Real live fresh dead cow, cooked medium, and cut up into bite sized pieces!
I don't know where the People met Mr. Bee, but I'm not gonna question because, come on, steak!
It wasn't even a tiny taste, it was a pretty big taste, so now I'm a little full, and the fireplace is on so I can go soak up the warms and nap until dinner time.
My life is awesome.
He's a man's man, and I know this because, dooods... he sent me steak! Seriously! Real live fresh dead cow, cooked medium, and cut up into bite sized pieces!
I don't know where the People met Mr. Bee, but I'm not gonna question because, come on, steak!
It wasn't even a tiny taste, it was a pretty big taste, so now I'm a little full, and the fireplace is on so I can go soak up the warms and nap until dinner time.
My life is awesome.
February 09, 2010
Dooods, you're not going to believe this. I still don't believe it. I mean, it's unthinkable and my feelings are hurt and I'm not sure that I'll ever get over it.
I did not get to meet Denny today.
I waited by the door and I told the Woman more than once to hurry up because we had to be there before two o'clock because that's when the free food was going to run out, and I figured since my People are so cheap that they'd be all fired up to go.
But no.
They did not go.
I begged for them to take me, but then the Woman told me the truth. the truth that hurt me right down to my furry core.
Denny doesn't allow kitties.
Denny discriminates.
There was no free Grand Slam for Max. No chicken. Nothing.
I thought Denny really, really liked me. But he doesn't want to meet me and I'm not allowed to go see him, so I just don't know anymore. He might not even send me chicken ever again.
My life sucks.
I did not get to meet Denny today.
I waited by the door and I told the Woman more than once to hurry up because we had to be there before two o'clock because that's when the free food was going to run out, and I figured since my People are so cheap that they'd be all fired up to go.
But no.
They did not go.
I begged for them to take me, but then the Woman told me the truth. the truth that hurt me right down to my furry core.
Denny doesn't allow kitties.
Denny discriminates.
There was no free Grand Slam for Max. No chicken. Nothing.
I thought Denny really, really liked me. But he doesn't want to meet me and I'm not allowed to go see him, so I just don't know anymore. He might not even send me chicken ever again.
My life sucks.
Guys, remember a couple of years ago I told you a story about an awesome dog named Stoner?
It's bad news this time. About 4 o'clock this morning he decided it was time to go to The Bridge. Stoner was very old for a dog his size, but still...he was an awesome dog, and his people are going to miss him a lot. So will Tank, the puppy he adopted.
Frankly, so will I. I'll miss getting comments from Some Wandom Woofy. And I'll miss hearing stories about the things he steals from the refrigerator.
One of his people, Murf, lurks on a lot of cat blogs and is a huge fan of dozens of us, so if you could think a few good thoughts for him and his family today, I would appreciate it.
Frankly, so will I. I'll miss getting comments from Some Wandom Woofy. And I'll miss hearing stories about the things he steals from the refrigerator.
One of his people, Murf, lurks on a lot of cat blogs and is a huge fan of dozens of us, so if you could think a few good thoughts for him and his family today, I would appreciate it.
February 08, 2010
Dooods! I just heard that one of my favorite people, Denny, is giving everyone FREE FOOD tomorrow! EVERYONE! From 6 am to 2 pm you can go there and get a free grand slam! Whatever the heck that is, it's food and it's FREE!
See, I TOLD you Denny was awesome!!!
We all need to go and get our free food! (Oh yeah, if you're reading this on Tuesday, Feb 9th, it's TODAY so you better HURRY!!!) I am so excited!
I hope I get to meet Denny. He's, like, my hero or something.
See, I TOLD you Denny was awesome!!!
We all need to go and get our free food! (Oh yeah, if you're reading this on Tuesday, Feb 9th, it's TODAY so you better HURRY!!!) I am so excited!
I hope I get to meet Denny. He's, like, my hero or something.
February 03, 2010
Oh man, today the weather was nice, so the front door got opened and some windows got opened. We really needed that, because this place was starting to smell like cat poop and people sweat. The cat poop smell isn't so bad, because we poop rainbows you know, but people sweat? Major Ugh.
They actually do bathe regularly, but they just can't help it. I heard the Younger Human say once it was worse at his house because it's a house full of guys and apparently Dood Stink is unique. I'd kind of like to check that out for myself, but that would require a ride in the car in my plastic tomb, and then when I got there I'd have to content with two other kitties, and that Damned Dog Butters. The Woman says I can get an idea of it by getting into the Man's car, but I think I'll pass.
I'm just glad we got some fresh air today, and I think Spring is just around the corner!
They actually do bathe regularly, but they just can't help it. I heard the Younger Human say once it was worse at his house because it's a house full of guys and apparently Dood Stink is unique. I'd kind of like to check that out for myself, but that would require a ride in the car in my plastic tomb, and then when I got there I'd have to content with two other kitties, and that Damned Dog Butters. The Woman says I can get an idea of it by getting into the Man's car, but I think I'll pass.
I'm just glad we got some fresh air today, and I think Spring is just around the corner!
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