September 19, 2012

OK, so yesterday the Woman spent her day drinking like a fish, and she didn’t enjoy it one bit. She made faces I’ve never seen before (but wish I had taken pictures of) and even though what she was drinking obviously sucked toad stools, she kept drinking it. She even got the Man to stick the jug of the stuff into a cooler, and she took it into the giant litter box room so that she could cut down on the number of steps she needed to get to it.

The view she had most of yesterday
Doods, let me tell you…it was not pleasant. She was drinking and drinking, and then some really nasty things began to happen in the giant litter box room, an unpleasantness that reminded me a lot of when she was super-sick this summer. She seemed all right, but she would drink, lay down in bed, get up and run for the litter box room, then drink some more…so I thought she might not feel terrific, so I was duty bound to crawl on top of her every time she got back into bed to purr on her.

Oh, she said she was fine and was just watching TV while she “went through the prep” but I wasn’t taking any chances. Because if she gets sick again, my breakfast and dinner times get all screwed up, and we can’t have that. So I kept doing it, even though a couple of times she sat up and bolted so fast that I kind learned what it feels like to fly.

Then today she slept in and I was thinking oh no, she really is sick, but after she got up she washed her hair and actually put deodorant on, and the Man took her out of the house. And it clicked.

Today she was letting the stabby guy shove a hose up her asterisk.

Doods? Worse yet, she didn’t seem to mind the idea. It was like, “Ok, cool, some guy I’ve never met before is gonna look at my butt, and then jam that sucker up there, and we’ll all have a good time.”

Seriously. I should worry about my people, I think.

Now, I expected her to be leaking today, but she got home a few hours later and didn’t seem fazed by the whole thing at all, but she did want to take a nap. I thought about going in there and purring on her again, but hell, she really wasn’t sick, and letting someone shove a hose up your asterisk ON PURPOSE doesn’t warrant my purring efforts.

Apparently the Man is going to get the same thing done sometime soonish. I don’t know why he didn’t do it today, too, but I guess that’s not something people want to bond over.

Go figure.

15 comments:

Gigi said...

::shhhhh:: My Human is sposed to do that too but so far she hasn't. Seems like the smart choice to me I have to say.

Gemini and Ichiro said...

The Male has gone through that a few times. The Woman hasn't yet but I think that will happen in the next couple of years.

Sparkle said...

My human's boyfriend had that done, and it was enough to make my human NOT want to do it ever! (Even crazier, he had the procedure done WITHOUT anesthetic!)

Angel Prancer Pie said...

::shudder::

Kate said...

You're making my Mom think she doesn't ever wanna do that, ever. That does not sound like something that should be done to anyone at any time. I'm gonna just tell her "told ya."

Spunky

Vicat said...

Dood, "the prep" sounds like some awful evil sickies hoomins catch from buggies. Maybe the hose was to wash away whatever buggy crawled inside that gave her "the prep."
Make sure she washes her hands before feeding you (which should be early as a reward for your patience) so you don't catch "the prep."
~Vicat

Ivan from WMD said...

Yep, I remember my mom going through that whole business. She said the prep was the worst part of it.

Thankfully her sister was there to snoopervise, so we were happily unaffected by all that silliness.

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

Our dad did that too. Mom said no way!

Quill and Greyson said...

The only thing you bond with is the porcelain god.

Good for you Mom for going..

The Island Cats said...

Our mom had to go through this...she said the only good thing about it was when it was over.

Saku said...

Max, you make our Mom laugh so hard stuff is coming out her noze, MOL!

(Sure hope having the hose up the asterisk results show no issues! Sounds gross..and definitely not something I ever want to go through.)

Sasha, Sami, & Saku (Mom Eileen)

Anonymous said...

how you can make something like that so funny is just priceless. most enjoyable TMI, ever.

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Holy Cod, a HOSE!?! At least the V-E-T doesnt do THAT to us...

Unknown said...

My Daddy had to do that!! He whined. He groaned! He cried!
Kisses
Nellie

Shaggy and Scout said...

After it started to get really bad, our mom just cut to the chase and took a book into the bathroom.