June 12, 2008

Battle Of The Breeze Box Day 6...or...You Can Lead A Kitty To New Litter, But You Can't Make Him Poop

I am stubborn. I will win. And thusly, did I poop in hallway right outside the bathroom where the litter boxes are.

Now, I was entirely polite in how I went about this. I did not like the fact that there were Breeze pellets covering my beloved Tidy Cat scoopable litter, so I did what any cat would do.

I held it.

All day.

In fact, holding it was making me feel so miserable that when the Woman gave us our Stinky Goodness last night that I ate half of it and then immediately barfed it up. I was going to just eat it off the floor again because, hey, it wasn't digested or anything, but she cleaned it up. I finished what was on my plate, and the people went about their own business.

Except...I had biznezz to do and I absolutely didn't want to do it there.

So I yelled out "Please come move this stuff off my box" and the Woman hollered back "I'll give you more to eat later."

I did not ask about food. So I repeated my request and she said something else about food, so I just went over near the bathroom and let it loose. At least I did it on the tile where it's easily cleaned up.

So then I went and said "Hey! I just dumped a load on the floor, you might want to take care of that," and she said, "I said later, Max."

So I jumped on the table where I had a clear view of her at her desk and said "Lady, in fifteen minutes the smell of that is gonna hit you, and you're gonna wonder what died in here, and I'm telling you right now you might wanna go check and clean it up!"

She sighed really hard and turned in her chair and said, "I haven't heard you talk this much in years. I'll feed you more later, all right? I promise. Let your tummy settle."

I jumped off the table and wandered over to plop down on the floor near her and said, "Fine. But don't say I didn't tell you."

Ten minutes later the Man came downstairs and wandered through the kitchen, and hollered out, "Someone pooped on the floor..."

As he was cleaning it up she FINALLY got up and went to see (like he would lie about that?) and said, "You know, he was trying to tell me something, but I thought he wanted more food."

Sheesh.

Yeah, this is where you point and laugh at the Woman.

So. They're pretty sure I'm not using the Breeze box at all, so that leaves either Buddah or the Man, and I'm not discounting the Man, because you know People. They might do stuff like that to convince kitties it's a good thing. And while I'll pretty much poop anywhere, it has to be on my terms. After all, I am the kitty who held it for a couple days after I got nootered and declawed because I didn't want to use shredded newspaper. I used an empty box, but not the newspaper.

The Woman, btw, dutifully removed a large portion of the Breeze pellets from my box. There's still about half of them there, but I can see and feel my Tidy Cat scoopable, so I'll poop there. For now.

Oh, and she kept her promise. We got a little more Stinky Goodness later. I don't know why Buddah got more because he didn't barf, but I can't complain too much because I did get some, after all...

No comments: