July 18, 2005

The Woman once read something like this: Dogs get attached to people, cats get attached to places and things. And you know, that's partly true. I don't really care who's there as long as I get my Stinky Goodness every morning and evening, the dry food is kept full, and I have my toys and other things.

But you know, just because we don't necessarily get attached to people the way dogs do, that doesn't mean we don't miss them when they're gone, realize they're not there, and it especially doesn't mean we don't get scared out of our minds when we're suddenly uprooted and deposited into some strange place, with strange people.

We do better with continuity, and that includes the people with whom we share our lives. Yeah, we can get used to new people, but why should we have to unless you've up and croaked, or have developed a bad allergy?

So don't email me and say you're giving away your 6 month old kitten or 1 year old cat because having it wasn't as fun as you thought it would be, or it's too much work. What the heck? Work? We're cats! We eat, we sleep, and we poop. And ohmygosh, yes sometimes you have to clean up that poop, but if you can clean your own ample backside, you can scoop out a litter box. And really don't add to it that you're moving and can't take a cat with you. Bullshit. My People moved every 2-3 years for 20 years and they always took their cats--me included--with them.

Oh yeah, our existence in your life might make the trip a little more difficult, but that's what you signed on for when you decided to take in a cat.

Cats are not toys, People. We're not there to amuse your kids only to be discarded when they get tired of the novelty. We're not disposable. We have feelings. They may not be human feelings, but they're just as important and just as valid.

Here's the truth: that kitten you're giving away has bonded to you. He can get used to someone else, but right now, at this moment, you are his alpha kitty. He relies on you, and he's used to you. He won't understand it when you hand him to some stranger and he goes off to a new place. Inside, even when he's playing with new Sticky People and looking to someone else to be his alpha, he'll miss you. And if the new People give him away, he starts all over, and there will be holes all over his heart. He won't feel safe anymore.

Kittens are cute. But they're babies. They get into trouble like human Sticky People. They chew things, they get into things, and they're nothing but furry little bundles hopped up on their own little brand of speed. They come when they want, not when they're called. They will bite your offspring when provoked. Hey, guess what? So will your kid. Gonna give him away when he pees on the sofa, too?

So yeah, don't email me your stupidities. I'm not going to write back and say it's okay you're giving little Fluffy away because she's not what you expected. Don't expect my sympathy because you "love" your furball and "have" to give him away because you're moving and you don't think it's fair to move a cat. Fair is keeping your commitment and figuring out how to smoothly move with your cat. He's going to a new place either way. And don't think for one minute I'm going to agree that it's best to get rid of your tomcat because he smells musty and wants to roam. Get him freaking neutered. We don't like it but we can live without the family jewels and we don't need to procreate.

And if you've already given away that little guy that just needed your love, do the world a favor and never get another one. Because you don't deserve it.

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