November 26, 2003

How’s this for unfair? The Bipeds cooked this dinner last night that smelled like it should be mine. Very meaty, the aroma was all over the house. But did I get any?

Hell no.

The woman looks down at me and apologizes, saying that if I ate any in ten minutes I’d have flames shooting out my ass.

So what?

I don’t know what onions are and I don’t care, but goddammit if you’re going to cook something that smells like that, you better give me some. I mean it. Next time, you better give me some, or I really am going to poop on your pillow.

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