Sing with me, doods!

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Free Wick Books

Doods...you might be stuck at home, bored, so if you haven't read the first three books in the Wick Chronicles, here they are. For free. You can get them in either Kindle or ePub format, easy to download. I hope it gives you a nice way to spend some downtime.

The link expires in one week...share if you like!

CLICKY HERE

Edit Later: Oh, doods...a lot of you already read the first three Wicks. So in celebration of Buddah's 15th and ENJOY YOUR SOCIAL DISTANCING, here's a link to download the two that come after those, the Wick After Dark duology. 

That's five books to get you through the first week (they're quick reads!) and I hope it helps stay home a bit. WASH YOUR HANDS, DOODS!

CLICKY HERE FOR WICK AFTER DARK

Happy 15th

He's 15 today. FIFTEEN.

He's still annoying and obnoxious and chases me around the house...but he hasn't jumped on me in a couple weeks. So...happy birthday, Buddah Pest. You're an old man now, too, but don't act *too* old. The attention from that is mine and I am not sharing. ;)

At least we didn't need TP...

I watched some news on TV today with the Woman, there was a story about people getting into a fight over stuff at a store. And then I thought, well, I'm not sure I have enough cat food if the people wind up having to stay home for a while, so I directed her to put pants on and head for the pet store.

And doods, she did it. Oh she SAYS she was planning on going anyway, but I know the truth. And she came home later with enough cat food to last a while (about as long as usual, this wasn't really a stocking up kind of thing) and said she had a moment of Real Stupid and went to Costco...for popcorn. Just a couple bags of this popcorn she likes.

Doods, I don't know why she didn't stay in her car, turn around, and come home. She actually parked, went inside, and spent most of her time dodging people with carts loaded so high they couldn't see where they were going. And THEN she waited in a line 10 deep JUST TO BUY A COUPLE BAGS OF POPCORN.

I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS WOMAN who does stuff like this.

But, I got my canned gooshy goodness, so really, what do I care...?

My ears are still ringing...

As I am wont to do, tonight I sat on the Woman's lap while we watched The Masked Singer. Don't laugh, it's awesome. Tonight, though, when the singer going home was unmasked the Woman *shouted* "OhMyGAwd" so loud I had to jump to the other chair and stare at her disapprovingly for a good 5 minutes, and then I had to lecture her because THAT WAS LOUD.

The Woman's Selfie Game Is Not Strong...

Nope

I am not letting her ruin my mancat cave...

What the...

Oh good Bast, she brought another bicycle into the house. It's not on that green stand thingy yet, but I know it will be by tonight, which means I'll need to avoid whatever room she puts it in, just to be sure my tail doesn't get mangled. Why does she do these things? She knows it upsets me.

= = =
Later:

Oh, I am NOT happy.

:::tummy grumbles:::

No, I don't want that can. Or that one. Or that one, either.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT OPENING ANOTHER?

I'm STARVING over here!

=double grump=

Today's crushing disappointment: the tasty-smelling thing the Man had on his plate was full of chocolate chips, which meant I couldn't have any. People should not be allowed to have things that smell good while also being toxic for kitties. I am going to have to nap through the day to bury my disappointment. ALL DAY.

=grump=

A long time ago, I set things up so that everything I posted to Facebook propagated to Twitter, which then filtered to the sidebar there on the right. It seemed like a reasonable thing to do, because it seems like everyone has jumped to Facebook yet I still wanted to keep this blog with something more than the too-infrequent postings I've done.

Sometime in January, it stopped working. Mine doesn't work; the Woman's doesn't work. She tried unlinking and then re-linking, but things still aren't making it from FB to Twitter.

So now I dunno.

I may start crossposting, same things here and on FB, so those who still pop over and read blogs but also follow my FB page will see duplicates.

When I have more blog worthy things, I'll still post those to here first.

Mostly, I'm just annoyed that the linking broke. I haven't tried posting directly to Twitter to see if it shows up here, mostly because if I'm going to post twice I'd prefer here, and also because I just don't get Twitter. I've had an account forever, but I just don't get it. And things I don't even follow show up in my feed, more than things I do, and it's like...why? Just show me the people I follow, how hard is that?

FB is just as bad on that.

I'm just feeling grumpy.

Eh, I'm pushing 19, I'm allowed to be grumpy.

Holy carp...

...I haven't blogged all year.

But, just so you know, I'm still plugging along.

The Woman posted this picture of me on Facebook the other day and someone commented that I'm starting to look my age. Which, truthfully, I am.

The Woman sometimes calls me her Raggedy Man, which isn't an insult. Amy on Doctor who called the 11th Doctor that a lot, and I don't mind being compared to him.

I am a little raggedy. The Woman brushes my furs--I'm finally letting her after all these years--but they pop right back out. And that's cool. It's not like I need to be perfectly groomed to go see the Queen or anything.

The main thing is I'm here, I'm doing well, I eat a lot for someone my age, and I can still be annoying when I want to be.

I'll try to do better at the blogging thing, but I think I've said that before. There's not a lot to talk about when not much is going on. We've been in this house for 11 years now, and there are still no sticky people to watch play outside. Not much of anything, really. Even the freaking scrub jay that used to torment us hasn't been around in a while.

I don't really mind that last thing. He was annoying as chit.

Oh. There was the Great Ant Invasion a couple months ago. They came pouring out of an outlet behind the TV, streamed up the wall, across the ceiling, and then down another wall into the kitchen, causing the Woman to say a whole bunch of things off the Bad Word List. It was great fun, right up until the point where Buddah and I were unceremoniously locked in the back of the house so they could commit heinous acts of insecticide. By the time we were let out, hours later, the ants were all gone and the people not as upset.

On the upside, we got fed extra that day.

That's always a good thing.

Doods...

Hahahahahaha

The Woman gave me an early Christmas present, because she just knew I would love it and want to use it and might never leave it.

It's a sofa bed of my very own. And it's quite lovely, very nice to look at, but in 2 days I have not gotten on it of my own volition. I was on it for a minute last night, but she put me there with a new nip banana, hoping I would curl up and relax by the fire.

I might use it, but it's my duty as a cat to avoid it for a good two weeks.

OMG DOODS!

I kinda want to say WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME ABOUT THESE??? but y'all totally told me about these and I did not tell the Woman to run out and buy some. But on a whim she did, and tonight when I didn't eat much of my bedtime snack, she opened one and OH HOLY TACOCAT this stuff is THE CHIT! I licked that bowl clean and wanted more, but she said "maybe tomorrow" so I lowered myself to her level and ate more of the snack food (which was perfectly acceptable but I wasn't in the mood for it at first.)

Do yourself a favor and get some. AND I'M NOT GETTING PAID TO SAY THAT! But get some, especially if you're a little off your feed. It might make you want to scarf it down, which totally makes the people happy.

Om nom nom

After I had breakfast this morning--of which I ate half--the Woman remarked that I hadn't had a really good food day in several days.

That's how they refer to days when I eat a lot. Good food days.

Now, bear in mind, I get cans opened for me 5-6 times a day. Sometimes I'm just not hungry, but I asked for food, so the can got opened...a bite or two was all I wanted. And she gets that, and says it's okay.

But when I only nibble at everything for a couple days, she thinks I'm not getting enough.

Spoiler...I am not losing weight

Since I didn't Hoover my breakfast down, she opened another can 2 hours later, and I took 2 or 3 polite bites, then walked away. She shrugged, gathered her stuff, and went off to work at Starbucks for a while. I went to take a nap.

At lunchtime, I was hungrier, so I ate a little more than half.

She was happy with that, and then set about making her own lunch. I was in the front room lounging on my seat by the front door, and when she sat down in the living room, I caught a whiff.

Ham.

I wanted it.

So I casually strolled into the living room and jumped up on the arm of her chair, and politely asked for a bite. She equally politely said I would get a bite when she was done. So, still polite, I got closer and informed her that I needed that ham more than she did, and I would really like some right now.

Now, from where I was, I could see that she had already torn a few bites off of her piece. She knew she was going to give me some. And I reasoned that since she was aware of this and had wanted me to eat more earlier, she would understand if I did not wait politely any longer.

I shoved my face to her plate and scarfed down all the little bites she had set aside.

She did not yell.

Instead, she sighed, tore more off, and set the plate on the end table to make it easier for me to eat, shoving the lone small bite she had left in her mouth.

I don't begrudge her that.

But...she was happy that I ate.

Even if I did break the "you only get a bite if you're good" rule.

Heh

Buddah on the counter, in the bag, just before Halloween

Buddah doesn't sit on the Woman's lap very often. It's like he knows that's MY lap, and he gets the Man's lap. Well, he gets the Man's chest and shoulder mostly, since that's where he prefers to lounge.

But today he bypassed the Man and went straight to the Woman and stretched out on her lap. She was surprised, but gave him some head and chin skritches.

And then he farted.

Like OMG WHAT DID YOU EAT farted.

After that, he got up and went over to the Man, where he assumed his regular position.

Yes, I am amused.

Dona Nobis Pacem

Blog Blast for Peace 2019

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Geez, I was just napping...

Okay, so I like moving the places I enjoy napping. I'll sleep on one of the big beds for a couple weeks, then move to my bed under the Woman's desk for a couple weeks, then the sofa...I'm predictable in my changing moods.

But a few days ago I moved to an old, old spot, under one of the big beds. It had been so long since I'd slept there that stuff had accumulated and it was difficult to squeeze in, but I made it, and had a nice, wide spot in the center. And I went to sleep.

Next thing I know, the Woman has pulled some things out of the way and she's on her belly on the floor. She looks at me and says--no kidding--"Why you little forker!"

But she didn't say forker.

Then she went on to say she had looked under the bed like four times and never saw me. Yeah, well, it's dark under there and I've got a lot of black fur, so what did she expect? She only found me on the fifth try when I opened my eyes. And I opened my eyes because SHE HAD RUINED A GREAT NAP.

I tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but I heard her tell the Man she was actually nauseated. And then it was like, oh crap, I have to get up and make her feel better. So I did, but I was not happy about it. I mean, not only was the nap ruined, but now the space is ruined because it's not a secret hiding place anymore.

At least Buddah doesn't know about it.

I don't think, anyway.

Now, they were never worried that I'd gotten outside, because no one had gone outside, which means they were worried about something worse. But hells bells, I have steak in the fridge. I'm not going anywhere.

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New Wick short up at The Wick Chronicles. Becoming Blackshear. It's posted in four parts because it's kind of a long one. And looking at things, the ones that follow might be kind of long. ALmost like I usually write novels...

You might feel stabby after reading this one. Heh.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Just for the heck of it, here's a picture of me staring at the Woman.

Mmmm...Steak...

Apparently I am a sloppy eater.

This does not bother me. It doesn't really bother the People, either, but they still bring it up a few times a week, usually when they're washing my place mat.

I dunno what I was eating when they snapped this picture, but a few days ago, after not getting any for a long time because they thought I was getting tired of it, there was steak.

Not just any steak.

Ribeye.

Spendy steak.

The Woman prefers giving my ribeye because it's easy to cut into thin strips, which is apparently important even though it doesn't get all the seeds out. I prefer it because it's delicious. The Man probably doesn't prefer it because sirloin is cheaper and why can't I just have that?

Because the Woman prefers the ribeye and knows I like it best, and what I like, I get.

This is one of the perks of being an old man. Don't fear getting old, doods. When you're old, people will do just about anything you want, if they can. I want ribeye, I get ribeye.

I think it stems from the Man's days working in nursing homes when he was a teenager. He had this one patient, an 80 year old diabetic, who just wanted a slice of his birthday cake. The nurses wouldn't let him have it, because diabetes. The Man has always thought that was kinda mean, that if you hit 80 years old, and you have something like diabetes, you know the risks. You know how to account for it. And old men should get their damned birthday cake.

So I get my damned steak, and I get ribeye if the store has it when they go shopping.

I'm glad they got me one this week. I kinda missed it, even though I was getting real live fresh dead shrimp and other dead delicious things.

I think I get a fresh one tomorrow.

And they wonder why I'm still plugging along. Why would I leave? I have them trained, and I get STEAK.