Ha! He did it. It was too much to resist--Buddah got caught nibbling on the Christmas tree.

And no, I didn't warn him ahead of time that it's plastic.

Let the games begin!

Ok, no matter what I say to the little bugger, I can't get Buddah to mess with the Christmas tree. I've told him how fun it is, I've told him it annoys the People which makes it even twice as much fun, and I've told him that if he can get to the top without knocking the whole thing over Santa will bring him an extra toy (I'm pretty sure about that last one. Santa would be impressed.) I've even told him that I can't mess with it until he does, because it's tradition for the youngest to get first whack at it, and I'd really like to mess with it, so he needs to.

But he won't.

He's rubbed against the lower branches and sniffed hard at the fiber optic thingies, and he likes to get behind it, but he won't chew on it or bat at it or climb it. What kind of cat is he??? If he doesn't start screwing around with the tree, I certainly can't because I don't want to hear any "Oh, be more like Buddah" crap, but I want to bite the tree! I want to play with the dangling thingies!

Buddah ruins everything!

Well they finally put the tree up. We haven't done anything to it yet; Buddah's not too sure about it but I can tell he's warming up to it being there. I'm waiting to start yanking the plastic hanging thingies off until the People have relaxed and decided I'm going to leave it alone. Yeah, we all know what the odds of that are.

After they got it up they started chasing us around with the flashing thing. And now there are new pictures at Max & Buddah December 2005. You can click on them and see bigger pictures.

Now if they would just go to bed so we can get to work...

All this moving around of stuff and they didn't even bring in the inside tree! I had kind of hoped that was the whole reason, because we were getting our tree. I hope they bring it in soon. I want to see how much trouble Buddah gets in for climbing it. And you know he's going to try...

I don't like a lot of change. I really don't like a lot of change.

So what do the People do? They start moving furniture around, add a really big table, move more stuff... They moved the Supreme Commander Kitty Tower! I liked where it was! It was right where we could jump onto the table if we wanted. Now it's where we can jump onto a counter, but that's not the table!

Oh, and they didn't even have the decency to bolt the Supreme Commander Kitty Tower to the wall right away. I jumped onto it and it swayed and tilted away from the wall a little. My tail coulda gotten caught there!

People...leave stuff alone! Really now.

I don't know what my problem was yesterday; I felt fine all day, had to work the Woman in a major way to get Stinky Goodness a little before the regularly scheduled Stinky Goodness time, but by the time I got upstairs after dinner, I didn't feel so hot. So I threw up. All over the floor in the Woman's office.

It was a good one, too, all chunky from dinner...and she didn't discover it for like TWO HOURS, so it sat there and got all gnarly. She got paper towels to scoop up the chunks (and choked and hacked her way through it, since barf makes her want to hurl) and then the Man got out the carpet cleaning monster and tried to get the stain out.

Ha. That stain's gonna be there a while.

I curled up on the bed in the room where the Man plays his computer games, and the Woman came in to see if she could figure out just who had done the barfing, me or Buddah, and when she touched me she said I felt really hot, so she was pretty sure it was me. She petted me for a bit and then said she would leave me alone so I could rest, and made Buddah go with her.

She doesn't realize he came back 5 minutes later, but he wasn't a butthead. He just wanted to be in the same room.

I felt fine when I woke up this morning. The Man came home from passing gas and opened my favorite Stinky Goodness, and it stayed down. But those people are going to fuss over me until they're sure I'm okay. I swear, that Woman seems to think I'm just going to keel over one afternoon. I don't think it's occured to her that maybe SHE gave me cooties and made me throw up. She's always kissing the top of my head. That would make anyone hurl.

The only good thing about barfing is that someone else has to clean it up.
Oy.
That Stinky Goodness was tasty going down.
Coming up, not so much.

We have one of these.
It's not like a space heater, it's a heater thingy that only heats up the person or kitty sitting in front of it. At the risk of sounding really stoooopid, I big pink puffy heart this thing. It's one of the most awesome things ever created.

But the Woman has not turned it on for me yet. And Buddah doesn't even know of its magnificance! The Man has used it in the bathroom while he soaks in the tub, but I'm not about to lie on the edge of the tub just to get some heated wonder going.

So, since the Woman has not yet used it in the office...turn up the freaking heat!

I heard the People talking about Christmas earlier...I'm hoping that means that we get our inside tree soon, and then Santa will come. I had a hard, hard year, so I deserve a really good present, right???

TURN THE HEAT UP!

Now.

Or I will poop on your pillow.

Oh, like straddling Buddah from behind and sinking my teeth into his neck until he squeals like a stuck pig isn't fair payback...

OK, it's almost that time of year again.
What are we going to ask Santa to bring us?
And do I have to get Buddah something, or just let Santa take care of it?

Come on...what are you asking Santa for???

Ok, so the People redeemed themselves. They went out to eat, but they brought home some turkey for Buddah and me. And it wasn't a tiny bit, it was almost as much as a serving of Stinky Goodness. Better yet, Buddah only took a couple of bites and then let me have the rest of his--and the People didn't stop me. The Woman said, "If Buddah doesn't want it, it's yours." And Buddah walked away and went to the back door to look outside, and then he went to look under the dishwasher, so I got to eat his turkey, too.

We also get to have our Stinky Goodness later! Maybe I'll let him have a couple bites of mine, just to be nice.

The People have pie for themsevles for later. I don't think I like pie but I bet Buddah does. I need to be sure to tell him if he jumps on one of them and sticks his face in the plate real quick, he can get a bite before they know what's happening. If nothing else, it'll make for a good laugh.

=burp=
Good turkey...

7:30 p.m. We did not get dinner time Stinky Goodness until 7:30 p.m.

To make things worse, last night the Woman got the bright idea of trying to make me take the Big Awful Thing without grinding it up and mixing it with my food. She figured that since I feel good, I would not fight. And it worked last night; I was so surprised that she would pick me up and set me in her lap as if I was going to get petted, and then pry my mouth open and jab her finger down my throat that it worked.

But tonight...oh, I expected it tonight. I let her put me in her lap, and when she pried my mouth open, I knew what I had to do. She got that finger in my mouth and I chomped down. I choped so hard she couldn't move her finger, and then I used my tongue to push the Big Awful thing out the side of my mouth.

She said a whole bunch of bad words and tried again. Ha! I launched that pill across the floor.

Sadly, the third time is the charm. She really shoved her finger down my throat and I had no choice but to swallow.

And then we got Tuna Stinky Goodness--with gravy!

This better not become a habit. I want my Stinky Goodness ON TIME and I don't want her icky, God-knows-where-it's-been finger in my mouth. I'll take the Big Awful thing in my food, but not like that.

I know why she's doing it. She's planning on cutting back our Stinky Goodness until we never get it again, and I'll still have to take the Big Awful Thing.

Stupid pancreas.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow kitties. I hope you get lots of turkey. We won't, because the Woman is too lazy to cook one. They're going OUT to eat! They keep mumbling about her back and owie, and this and that, but I know the truth. They don't want me to have any turkey.

Stupid Denny's, for not allowing cats...

Ha! The Man and the Woman weren't here when the Younger Human home today, and apparently no one told him that dinner has been pushed back from Acceptable Time to Way Too Late--so he fed us! They got home like 15 mintes later, but by then we'd already scarfed down that wonderous Stinky Goodness and were curled up, digesting.

So PHHHFFFFFTTTT to the People.
We win!

Today, anyway....

I have horrible, horrible People.

In all this Oh-Buddah-Is-A-Big-Boy-And-Needs-Big-Boy-Food they neglected to mention one very important thing:

They decided to switch us from getting Stinky Goodness 3 times a day to 2. Why? Because the little monster couldn't eat an entire can of kitten food in 2 feedings, so we were getting it 3 times a day, but NOW he can eat a can of good Stinky Goodness in just 2 meals, so we're getting the shaft on our night time snack!

Oh, the Woman says I'm still getting the same amount of food, but I don't care! I want my snack! I was happy getting that snack! So what if I only used to get it twice a day before I got sick. I don't care!

I WANT MY SNACK!

Buddah hasn't been leaving food on his plate because he's sick or anything; he's been doing it because he doesn't really like it. He would much prefer to have REAL Stinky Goodness, not the stuff intended for kittens that passes for Stinky Goodness. I think it tastes just fine, but he got into a stubborn streak. He'd eat a little bit because it was there, but once he had a taste or two he'd walk away.

So the People caved. They fed him the good stuff tonight, and he ate so fast I'm surprised he didn't inhale the plate.

This doesn't negate the fact that I should have been allowed to finish what he didn't, but it'll be a non-issue now.

On one hand I'm a little miffed because I really liked his food, but on the other hand, I taught him well. He held out for what he wanted and got it. I'm impressed enough that I think I'll only shove him down a few stairs tonight instead of the whole staircase.

Then agan, the brain dead twit likes that, so his feelings might be hurt...

There's rules around here. And one of the rules is that if Buddah doesn't want his Stinky Goodness, I get to finish it. That's a rule and People can't change it.

But do they pay attention to the rules? No!

The last couple of nights Buddah has left a little bit on his plate, but before I can lick it up the People take the dish away and wash the food off! How rude.

Millions of cats are starving, and they're wasting food.

I could eat that!

Buddah thinks I'm some kind of hero. Eh, let him. I chased a cat away from the back door last night, but only because it was an incredibly rude cat. I mean, you don't go looking into another cat's house without an invitation. If it had been nice and at least said hello, I probably would have let it stay.

But no...It looked in, saw Buddah, and started spitting and growling.

I don't know who that cat's People are (and even though it didn't have a collar on it was really fat, so I'm sure it has People) but they need to teach it some manners.

I bet it poops in our yard, too.

It better watch out...some day Buddah's going to be bigger, and braver, and he'll bite a kitty right on the winky.

Man...I was t h i s close to getting fed twice this morning. The Woman actually dragged her sorry butt out of bed before the Man got home from passing gas and opened up the Stinky Goodness for Buddah and me. Then she went upstairs to get dressed and the Man came home--he actually had a can open and was ready to plop some of that meaty wonder onto a plate when the Younger Human opened his mouth and said that we'd already eaten.

So close!!!

Then later while the Younger Human and the Woman were having dinner (they didn't feed the Man, but I don't know why...he had to fix his own food later) I noticed there were wiggly things in the dry food. I sat there and stared at it, trying to decide if I should say something. I figured the chances of either of them giving a damn that I was in distress was only about 50-50, but I decided to try anyway. The Woman actually looked over and asked what was wrong, and when she saw me loking at the dish she asked if there was something in it.

Well, duh, that's why I was staring at it and complaining.

Ants. The food dish and the water fountain were loaded with ants. She said a bad word or two, told the Man about it, and he went off to get something to take care of them (after he called his dad. He had to call Daddy to find out what to do! Ha!) But cripes, because of those ants Buddah and I got locked up in a bedroom for a long time. Like it was our fault the ants got in the house in the first place.

So now our dry food and water is up on a counter in the kitchen. I hope it stays there, 'cause I like being on the counter. Buddah says it's cool, but he wishes the food would stay on one place for at least ten minutes, because he never knows where it's going to be.

Get used to it, kid. They can never make up their little minds.

Oh, she thought she was sneaky, putting my bed on the floor under the warm air blowing thingy. She thought I would decide it was more comfy than sleeping on top of her. She thought she could get rid of me at night.

Well, she was right. At least for last night. It was warm and comfy and a whole lot better than trying to snooze on top of all her lumps and bumps. And trust me, she's got lots of them.

She even put a bed there for Buddah, but he won't even try it. The little monster has no idea what he's missing...