No, I will not lick the floor.

Can you believe that the Woman actually just asked me to do that? She was puttering around the kitchen after dinner and spilled some juice from the perfectly good live dead meat on the floor, and then she looked at me and asked, "Would you lick that up for me?"

Do I look like a dog?

I was more than happy to eat some of the meat she offered me, in nice bite size pieces, but I draw the line at performing dog-like chores.

If she ever spills shrimp, then we'll talk, but until then, every time she asks me to lick something up, I'll just lean back, hike a leg up, and lick myself.

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