It's been a heckuva year. We've made a lot of new kitty friends this year, but we've also lost a lot, and that's kid of sad to think about. I really do miss them, and I hope they're having a blast up there at the Bridge while they wait for their people. They're probably playing with each other, tons of games of Thundering Herd of Elephants, and I hope they've found where all the lickable Cheetos are so that when I get there they can show me.

I had a good year. We got our Family Forever Home...I mean, Buddah and I already had our forever people, but the People finally bought a house so I never had to go through the M-word again. And that would have been enough for the year.

I got to try out lots of new things. People just emailed me and asked me to try them, and hey! I'll try new free things! I discovered some good food and good toys, and even shared them with Buddah.

A few weeks ago I got to try Nutra crunchy food and it was awesome, but the People prefer to give us Stinky Goodness, so the Woman went and got some cans of it. We tried it before but Buddah was really picky and wouldn't eat it all. But now he loves it so the Woman is feeding us just that now. And you know what?

I'm a lot more active. One night the Woman got up to get something to drink in the middle of the night and I stalked her and tried to get her to play with me. I'm also really really soft now...she says my fur is so nice that she just has to pet me.

So I'm getting really good food, even though it costs more, because I'm worth it.

There was lots of real live fresh dead shrimp this year, and this really cool guy named Denny keeps sending home some chicken for me.

The new house has a totally rad fire thingy that blows hot air, and lately the Woman has turned it on for me every day, even when she's not cold.

I got to say "boobies" a lot this year. Heh.

Life is good.

I hope it's spiffy for you guys, too.

Happy New Year!

All right, dooods, Christmas is over and I have to admit that I am relieved to have it behind me. Do you know what happened? Do you? I'll tell you what happened!

The day started out really nice. We got up and the Woman gave us Stinky Goodness, and when we were done eating we went into the living room and there were our stockings! All filled up! Santa came and he left a lot. But...the Man had to work all the night before and he was sleeping so we weren't allowed to look into them until he was up. That was ok, I could live with that.

But then. THEN... the Younger Human came over, and he brought that damned dog Butters. Now, I didn't realize this at first because I was taking a nap, but when I woke up I heard the Man's voice and went out to the living room to see if we got to have Christmas yet...and there he was. Butters. Oh holy crap. So I went back to the bedroom and hid under the bed.

After a while I smelled food cooking, and it was awesome, something I don't think I've smelled in a long time. Well, surely if the Woman was cooking something that good Butters was gone and I could come out for Christmas dinner. I wandered into the kitchen and it smelled so good.

But then I heard him.

And then I saw him.

Worse, he saw me, and you know what he did? HE CHASED ME! I had to scramble to get out of there and jump over the hallway gate, and I hit my legs on it pretty hard, hard enough the man came to make sure I was all right. He gave me treats, but that doesn't make up for the fact that while they had dinner that damned dog was RIGHT THERE getting bites that shoud have been mine.

I spent most of Christmas hiding under the bed. That really sucked.

Later on we got to see what Santa brought us.



See/ He was awesome to us! The Woman royally failed at finding my cat nip candy bars but he brought me LOTS of them. They're pink, not red, but that's close enough!

We also each got a Nip Banana!




And the People got us a Fling-Ama-String!




And look what the Grandma gave us!



Crunchy Treats!!!

In spite of that damned dog Butters we had a decent Christmas...it was nice before he got here and nice after he left. I don't know why but the people really like having that woofy around and they laugh at the stuff he does like he's really funny.

I don't get it...

Oh, go to Buddah's blog and see what the Man made for him! Even I have to admit it's really cool.

=sob=

Don't you know you hurt my feelings when you un-follow me?

How can I build my empire if you un-follow me?

I feel so...so...unloved. Hold me.

Eh, naw, don't hold me. Give me crunchy treats. That'll make me feel better.

Finally, Buddah is the one that gets kvetched at. Well, actually the Woman whined at both of us, but she looked at him and said, "I feed you both the same thing, so why do you drop litter box bombs that make my eyes water? Max doesn't do that."

Well, not for lack of trying...

It was just nice to have her unrefined snark aimed at someone else. And the house does stink thanks to him. I think something crawled up his butt and died...like, twice.

Dooods. DOODS!


ONE WEEK UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!!


I hope I can be good until then...

Ohmygosh doods, our Secret Paws package got here today! Our Secret Paw was Gracie, and boy was she generous! I mean, I actually played with stuff today!


We inspected it before it got opened...


Crunchy treats! TEMPTATIONS!!!


Mmmmm...Kitty crack toy...


See! Gracie was really nice to us!


There are more pictures here...

Thank you, Gracie! We are going to have a most excellent time playing with our new toys, and I can't wait for the Woman to give me some of the treats!

=sigh=
Kill me now.



Damn people...

You know, I've been trying very very hard to be a good kitty lately. Santa Claws and all that. But my people don't make it easy...they went shopping today, and they went to the pet store (luckily they did not come home with another pet) but I'm pretty sure they didn't get anything for me. I'm pretty sure that they bought stuff for that damned dog Butters.

Now, I don't begrudge Butters a present or two, because he has good taste in people, but come on. He doesn't live here. He doesn't keep the People warm at night. He doesn't sing to them at 3 a.m. He should get something, sure, but I should get something, too! I do all the work here!

I am going to spend the rest of tonight in front of the fire thingy, being very good and looking very sad, and maybe the people will feel bad for me and I'll at least score a crunchy treat or two. I did score a few bites of the chicken the man cooked in the Damn That's Slow Cooker thingy, but I'm not sure that's enough.

All I want is a few presents for Christmas. Is that too much to hope for?

Doods! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I was a little sick the one day and felt a lot better, but I haven't been eating the way I normally do, which has caused some concern in Casa de Psychokitty. After some deliberation, the people think they have bored me to tears practically with the variety of Stinky Goodness I've been getting. I walked away after only eating half my Tender Beefy Feast this morning, yet funny enough, I wolfed down the Elegant Medley Fancy Feast they offered later.

Go figure.

This afternoon... there was a box. The man in the brown truck brought it a few days ago, but in the Christmas shopping and wrapping of stuff it got shoved to the side. But today, the Woman put it on the floor and said, "It's for you, guys!"


I could not get it open, and I tried hard...

And you know what? Inside that box was another box...and it MEOWED at us!


Be verrrry careful...

When the box was all the way open, I could not believe what I was seeing!


Seriously? Another cat?

I was so focused on the idea that there was another cat that I didn't look harder, but Buddah was all, "Dood! There's FOOD in here! That kitty brought us OFFERINGS!!!" And I figure if a kitty is coming in here, bringing offerings is a good idea.


Max, dood, look!

Now, I've been walking away from food but I sure as heck didn't walk away from this. A very nice lady at Nutro sent it to us to try, and I liked it a lot. I've had Nutro Stinky Goodness before and liked it, but I think this is the first time I've had their crunchy food, and it was wicked good.


Yep, it meets with my approval...

Since I'm turning my nose up at my regular food, the Woman thinks this was perfect timing, and she's going to see if I keep on liking it as much as I did today. Buddah loves crunchy food more than he loves Stinky Goodness, so it's like SCORE! for him.

I'll let you guys know how well I keep liking it. It's supposed to be high quality noms, so I have high expectations.

Last night I barfed on the sofa. The BRAND NEW sofa. The Woman was not happy about it, but she cleaned it up anyway while I sat there feeling quite pleased with myself. I mean, I've managed to nail both the new rug and the new sofa in less than three weeks, I think.

The problem is that it wasn't a hairball. It was a total surprise--I was just curled up there taking a nap, minding my own business, when suddenly there it was. Barf.

While the Woman was sleeping last night I barfed again on the bathroom rug and then in the library. And this morning I didn't pester her to get out of bed to feed me, I just let her sleep. When she did get up to feed us...

Doods, you won't believe this.

She opened a can of tuna Stinky Goodness for me, but I didn't eat it. I didn't eat! I sniffed at it and licked it a couple of times, but I just didn't feel like eating.

She even tried giving me crunchy food, and then crunchy treats, but I just couldn't make myself eat.

I'm not sure how I got sick, but obviously, I'm just not feeling well. So I think I'll spend today napping on the bed with the fuzzy blanket, and hopefully after 8 or 9 hours of sleep I'll feel better.

I hope so, because not eating? That just isn't right.

Dooods! My good buddy Wendell finally has a blog! Please go visit and say hi!

Clicky Here

And follow him! He needs followers!

Further proof of the Younger Human's Food Gawdness...he came over today and helped the Man stick things in the tree outside, and before he left he gave me STEAK again.

Now, Buddah says maybe he just wants me to like him better than I like Denny, but really there's no contest. Denny has fricking good chicken, but he's never delivered it PERSONALLY. The Younger Human gives me steak without an intermediate.

I rubbed up against his legs to show my appreciation. Or I might have done that before he gave me the steak, but the sentiment was the same. He is my favorite People, so I have to show him that sometimes.

Before he got here there was some guy that came over to play with the fire thingy. He was here last year, too, I think the people pay him to clean it out because they're just too lazy to be bothered. He said it had a lot of cat hair in it. I don't believe him, because while I sleep in front of it I've never been in it. I think he said that so he'd have an excuse to unleash his super loud sucky monster.

Oh yeah, I hid when that thing came on. It wasn't just loud it was loud.

Later I came out and chewed on the Christmas tree a little. The people love it when I do that. Really.

This is a major relief:



Denny sent home some chicken! I was worried that I might have offended him and that he might not want to ever send me any again, but he already did!



So, so tasty...

I wish the people would invite him over for once so I could meet him, but they're antisocial like that. Or maybe people just don't like them, and Denny is just being nice to them. You know, like that one kid your Mom makes you invite over but you don't really want to? That's my People...

And I have to live with them.

What? I was here first, you go sit on the other side of the table.




Dooods...I have come to a realization. And it started the other day, when the Younger Human was here. He helped the People move some stuff around, and then they went out, and when they came back, there was STEAK.

GOOD steak. Medium well real live fresh dead cow. For me

Then he was back today, and there was TURKEY. Not just a tiny bit, but almost a meals worth. And I didn't have to beg, I just sat there at the table and stared at him, and pretty soon I had turkey!

So clearly...the Younger Human is a FOOD GAWD.

Oh sure, the People might have put it on my plate but I wouldn't have gotten it if not for the Younger Human. And he's better than Denny, because Denny only sends home chicken for me, which is good and all, but I got STEAK with the Younger Human, and then TURKEY, which, like, never happens!

Tasty food + presence of the Younger Human = He's a Food Gawd.

This is how I felt after:



Sleepy and warm and full.

Life is good.

(Oh, and Denny, I still really really really like you and I appreciate that you send home chicken for me. I hope I didn't offend you.)

Look at this!



He was in my bed all day long! I mean, I was nice about it and didn't say anything in the morning when I saw him in it, and even went somewhere else to nap when I saw him in it in the afternoon.

But that evening?

I wanted my freaking bed! I couldn't even jump on him and put the bite on him because the Woman was right there and for whatever People reason her tiny little brain coughs up, she gets upset when I do that. I didn't get to nap in my own bed AT ALL yesterday!

On the plus side, tonight the Younger Human was here, and before he went home he smelled like real live fresh dead cow, but even better, he pulled some out of a box and gave it to the Woman to cut up for us, so I got steak. STEAK! I'm pretty sure he took some home with him to give to that woofy, Butters, but that's all right. He gave the best piece to me.

Oh! And Marty? It looks like they met their goal for his surgery. If you're so inclined to still donate, I'd bet they could use a few extra what-if bucks, but if not--they got what they set out to get! Aside from a sore spot 13, I think Marty's gonna have a nice Christmas. Or Hanukkah. I'm not sure what he celebrates.

You guys rock!

See this little guy?



His name is Marty, and he needs help.

Marty is just a little guy who was rescued by a couple of college students. They were visiting someone who had him, and while they were there his anus (spot #13) prolapsed...and Marty's people apparently didn't want to do anything about it. So the college students took him and spent their on money trying to get him all fixed up...but he needs more surgery, and it's gonna be kinda spendy.

Spendy in a way college students can't afford.

There's an article about it at http://theminaretonline.com/?p=7812 and to find out how to help go to http://handipets.com/blog/?p=782.

They're getting close to raising the amount they were told it's gonna cost, but you guys know how stabby visits go...there's always something extra that pops up.

If you can help, even a tiny bit... look at that little face. And think how awful it would be if your spot 13 suddenly prolapsed.

I know times are tough and if you can't, that's cool. But think good thoughts and stuff for him.

Ok, dooods, I know you've seen this picture before, but it bears repeating because I need your help.

You see that red thingy between my paws?

That's a red felt catnip candy bar. Someone barfed all over it the other day, and shortly after that it mysteriously went missing. It's one of the few things I will engage with (no, dammit, I do not PLAY!) but it's just...gone.

I made this clear to the Woman, and she went out today and looked everywhere that sells kitty toys. She even went into grocery stores. And then she got online. But she can't find them anywhere. She used to find them all over the freaking place, but when I need one? Gone.

Some of you have much better brains than she has, and can find things online that she can't. So if you could, the smart ones, Google or Yahoo or whatever and find a place online that sells them, I would be very grateful.

It's good to be king...

This was a horrible, horrible weekend. First, the Woman got up really really early, like Oh Holy Hell early (cause that's what she looked like) and she left the house! Without feeding us! I mean, we were really good and waited patiently while she took her drugs and got dressed, and when she was leaning over the bathtub to wash her hairs, I sat on her back and helped. I was nice.

But then she grabbed a bunch of stuff, like a box she put food FOR HERSELF in, and a jacket, and the giant hard hat she wears when she's on her rumbly bike, and she left. Just like that. I sat by the door and looked out the window there and kept saying "Come back! Come back! You forgot something!" but she didn't come back. HOURS later, or maybe about five minutes, the Man came back from passing gas but did he feed us? Not for like TWENTY minutes! And then he had the nerve to point out we were getting to eat early because he had to go to bed.

That was another horror of the weekend...the Woman was gone all day and the Man was sleeping all day and there was no one to give me head and chin skritches. I even got COLD but there was no one there to turn the fire box thingy one.

And yesterday, it happened all over again. She went off really early and he came home and didn't feed us for HOURS, or at least thirty minutes while he took a bath, and then we were alone all day long. Right about the time the Man got his lazy ass out of bed-when the talking head on TV came on to tell us what stupid crap happened during the day--the Woman came home and said she passed her skills test.

So I listened. You know what she was doing all weekend while I was without head skritches and warm? Do you?

She was taking a class on how to ride a rumbly bike!

Dooods...she's been riding rumbly bikes for almost FOUR freaking years! AND she took the class four years ago! I got ignored for two whole freaking days so she could so something she already did before!

Oh, she says it was a lot of fun and the other ladies taking the class were lots of fun, too, and the rider coach was all kinds of awesome, but that doesn't change the fact that my life was INCONVENIENCED so she could learn to do something she already knows how to do!

Look.

THIS IS PROOF!

So you know what I did?

This morning, really, really early, while she was asleep and the Man was still out passing gas, I horked up a nice wet hairball.

On the brand new rug.

That'll teach them to ruin my weekend.

Yeah, I know, Buddah posted this picture, too. But I wanted you all to see it--look what I have to put up with!



That's my comfy chair, and my space to nap. It doesn't matter that he was up there first today. It's mine! He didn't even ask permission to get up there. I walked into the living room and there he was, snoozing in my space. He has no respect for personal property, none at all.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

This is the real fireplace; it has real flames, and a blower built in that spits our warm air, kind of like the warm air blowing thingies that are in the ceiling. This is TONS better than that fake fire thingy. It gets a lot hotter and makes the whole room nice and toasty...and as you can see, the Woman put my Gizzy quilt on my bed and set it right here the warm airs hits, so I'm all set for winter now.

Oh, and I am not playing here. I am self-medicating.

There's a difference.

And ignore those clothes holder thingies...the Younger Human has some laundry to pick up, but until he comes to get it, Buddah and I are lounging on it so that he takes home a lot of Max and Buddah fur for Butters the Dog to smell.

We're considerate that way.

I do enjoy that spiffy rug I'm lounging on while I nip out. The people put it down the other day and it stinks a little, but it's a lot nicer to roll around on than the floor. It's nice when they finally do something right.

Doods.

The other day I was a little bored, what with having the lame people that I have...they weren't doing anything interesting and they weren't paying attention to me, and I had already taken my 3rd nap of the day.

I needed something to do.

The Woman has her butt plastered to the new sofa that's supposed to be my new bed, and she was reading something on that reading thingy she has that shows books but doesn't look like a book...so I plopped down on her lap and started reading with her.

Doods! She was reading about this really cool cat named Homer. Homer looks like Buddah but he's way more awesome (ok, to me...the Woman disputes this, but what does she know? She's thinking with that puny human brain...) I mean, Buddah can see and he doesn't do half the stuff Homer can do. Homer doesn't even have eyes, and he can jump straight up and catch a fly in the air! I won't do that because I don't want to have to eat flies, but Buddah can't.

Homer is just 23 kinds of awesome, and if you haven't read his book yet, you have to.

Oh, I should point out that Homer had his person write the actual book, but I think he did that because 1) he can't see the computer keys to type, and 2) it was probably good for her. You know, people need to stop and think about how important we are, and I think Homer's person totally gets it.

If I had thumbs, I'd give it two thumbs up. Make your person go out and buy this book for you. Seriously.

Your fake fire...it does not amuse me...