The other day the Woman grabbed me and stood on the thingy in the bathroom that makes her say bad words every morning, and she said, "Too much, Max."

So then she grabbed me again and took me into the other bathroom that has the other thingy that makes the Man swear when he stands on it, and she said "Same thing. You weight too much, Bucko."

I thought, "Well so do you," but I didn't say anything. I just went and plopped down on Buddah's bed that he never sleeps in, and started to lick myself. But then...then it got serious, because I heard the People talking.

"We have to take the Stinky Goodness away," the Woman said. "Wean them off of it."

"Maybe we should take away the dry food," the Man said. He thinks that would make us less whiny.

"The guy at the stabby place said the wet food should go," the Woman reminded him.

"He doesn't have to live with Max," the Man pointed out.

This goes on and on, and they haven't agreed on anything, but the fact that they're seriously talking about trying to starve me to death is ominous. The only good thing is that if I don't get Stinky Goodness neither does Buddah.

I'm afraid this time they might really mean it.

Someone make them keep my Stinky Goodness!

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