Truthfully, I did not try to kill the Woman this morning. In fact, I was being nice, all quiet and everything, until it was just a couple of minutes before it was time for She Who Feeds Me to wake up to do just that.

I did not sing, I did not whine; all I did was crawl gently on top of her to curl up and wait for her eyes to open.

It's not my fault that People have such delicate throats. Nor is it my fault that she suddenly started to gag and flail about like a not yet dead fishy tossed to the ground. And it's not my fault that my back paws just happened to be right there in the middle of her throat...well, that might be my fault, but it's not my fault my claws are so pointy.

I was just being nice.

Freaking.
Being.
Nice.

I should know better.

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