All I was doing was walking down the hallway, minding my own freaking business, when the Woman kicked me. She kicked me! One giant foot, right against my side.
And you know what she said?
She told me to stop walking between her legs! As if it was my fault!
Look, People, you're the ones with these gargantuan, stinky, smelly feet...maybe you should watch where you put them.
Isn't that the idea? The big things look out for the little things?
We're kitties!!! We're smaller than you!!!
Cripes, it's just like when she tries to sit in a chair I've just jumped into. Don't you think that when she sees me looking up at the chair, with my little butt wiggling, that I'm probably going to get into that chair? And that plopping her humungous hind quarters into it at that very moment might do me bodily harm???
Come on. Kitties can sit n people, people can't sit on kitties.
It's basic physics!
Your large mass on my small mass=SQUISHY!
I think I need to write another book. Beware Of Stupid Humans And Their Giant Butts And Feet. Or maybe The One Where The Person Gets Stomped On.
I would, but then they'd take the royalties from that and buy themselves something that's NOT kitty crack.