Look, I'm a nice guy. I understand that people have to flop down onto the big bed at night and sleep more hours in a row than make sense, but once in a while I have whims that need catering to in the middle of the night.
Like last night. I was hungry. Really hungry. The kind of hungry where the dry crunchy food just wasn't going to do. I needed stinky goodness, and lacking thumbs, I needed a person to open a can for me.
Now, only one person was home, and she was sound asleep. So I jumped up onto the bed and sat next to her head, and asked her--very nicely--if she would get up and get me something to eat.
"Max. Let me sleep."
Okay, fine, I grasp that sometimes people need "just five more minutes," so I sat there patiently and in five minutes, I asked again.
Doods, she rolled over.
So I gave her another five minutes.
"Max, it's five fifteen in the freaking morning!"
Well, yeah. Morning being the operative word there, sunshine. So I gave her another five minutes, but guys, she laid there not sleeping instead of getting up to feed me. I gave her five minutes after five minutes after five minutes, until the Man came home two hours later. I jumped off the bed and went out into the living room, because him being home meant that food was forthcoming.
But you know what happened?
THE WOMAN GOT UP.
What the hell, doods? If she was going to do that, why didn't she just get up when I first asked? She could have gone back to bed. But no, she had to get up and tell the Man I woke her up at five in the morning and I wouldn't shut up so she couldn't get back to sleep.
Well. That's her fault.
The Man fed us, and then took the Woman out to get breakfast at Denny's, but then they came home and she went back to bed.
I jumped up on the bed and was very quiet, because after eating I like to take a nice long nap. But dangit, she was all tossing and turning and she never did go back to sleep. And since she was all floppy, I didn't get much sleep, either.
Sometimes, I just can't believe how inconsiderate people can be.
Like last night. I was hungry. Really hungry. The kind of hungry where the dry crunchy food just wasn't going to do. I needed stinky goodness, and lacking thumbs, I needed a person to open a can for me.
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| Her view might have been something like this |
"Max. Let me sleep."
Okay, fine, I grasp that sometimes people need "just five more minutes," so I sat there patiently and in five minutes, I asked again.
Doods, she rolled over.
So I gave her another five minutes.
"Max, it's five fifteen in the freaking morning!"
Well, yeah. Morning being the operative word there, sunshine. So I gave her another five minutes, but guys, she laid there not sleeping instead of getting up to feed me. I gave her five minutes after five minutes after five minutes, until the Man came home two hours later. I jumped off the bed and went out into the living room, because him being home meant that food was forthcoming.
But you know what happened?
THE WOMAN GOT UP.
What the hell, doods? If she was going to do that, why didn't she just get up when I first asked? She could have gone back to bed. But no, she had to get up and tell the Man I woke her up at five in the morning and I wouldn't shut up so she couldn't get back to sleep.
Well. That's her fault.
The Man fed us, and then took the Woman out to get breakfast at Denny's, but then they came home and she went back to bed.
I jumped up on the bed and was very quiet, because after eating I like to take a nice long nap. But dangit, she was all tossing and turning and she never did go back to sleep. And since she was all floppy, I didn't get much sleep, either.
Sometimes, I just can't believe how inconsiderate people can be.
12 comments:
I hate it when my human starts moving around. That's why I've come to appreciate my own beds. That's right. There are three of them around the bedroom so I rarely snooze next the woman any longer unless it's really really cold or I'm feeling poorly and on those rare occasions when I want to scare her and make her think I'm feeling poorly.
Humans! They make no sense - why lay in bed for two hours NOT sleeping when they can get up and do something useful, like dish out food? You should give your human a lesson in time management, Max!
Hoomins! Do you ever wonder why the opposable thumbs were wasted on them??
PS: Your blog got a makeover! Guess it's been awhile since our last visit. :)
Yeah, once the toss and turns start, we leave.
WE leave when Mom starts floping aroung. Sometimes Kirby will get under the covers next to her to try and calm her down but she crys about sharp claws on her backside!
Maybe you should leave her a little "thank-you" for her thoughtfulness!
If she couldn't get back to sleep after you first asked her for food, she should have gotten up then. She has no excuse.
And why didn't Denny send a treat home for you? I bet he had bacon.
MOL! Humans! What a goofy bunch!
Max!
We KNOWS humans is totally weird. They never listens and they don't understand that wake up and feed me me and wake up and feed me!
They just thinks wes is being pests..kind of like when they is up and we is sleeping and they wants us to move!
Kisses
Nellie
We totally hear kitteh! WE have the same problem with the humans here. What are WE gonna do about this?
Emma and Buster
Max, The Woman WAS acting very weerd. We mean, she COULD have gotten a lot more sleep iffen she had simply fed you to begin with. Beins really arent very logical...
You gave her 5 extra minutes for 2 hours! You are the epitome of patient Max!
Our mom just gets out of bed. She knows there is no sleep for her if she doesn't.
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