Posted by Max | Posted on 1/04/2013 10:35:00 PM
Doods. I started out this year in the most awesome way.
I stood in the entry to the giant litter box room, where the Woman needed to go, and while she stood there asking me to please step aside, I barfed all over her feet. And it was one of those surprise barfs; I didn’t realize I was going to; she didn’t realize I was going to. There was no early warning horking sounds. One second I was sitting there, the next I splattered her bare feet with clumps of fur and all te water I had consumed about 3 minutes before.
Now, I was fine, really. It was just a little fur and some water. No chunks of food, nothing else. But when you hork on a person, their first impulse is to make sure you’re all right. And then they watch you the rest of the day, like they expect you to do some weird little trick, like explode into a ball of fur, guts, and Fancy Feast.
|Getting chin skritches|
Then the Man got home and she was all, “Oh, there’s something wrong with him. He’s making this weird quivering thing and he’s out of sorts and I THINK HE’S GOT A BRAIN TUMOR!”
Okay, she didn’t say the tumor thing out loud, but I know her. She was thinking it.
The Man decided to test my appetite by getting the crunchy treats out. I’m not foolish. I got up and got the damned treats, and while I was down there she turned the fireplace on.
Pretty soon, the fan in the fireplace kicked on, making hot air flow out and onto the floor, so I plopped down there and soaked up the warms, because doods…that quivering?
I WAS FREAKING COLD!
Seriously. I wasn’t quivering, I was shivering. And she touched my ears thinking I might have a fever and commented about how cold they were, and that STILL didn’t clue her in. All afternoon, I sat on her lap and she thought it was only for the skritches.
That was only part of it. The other part…I was trying to steal HER warms, but since he’s mostly cold blooded, there weren’t many warms for me to get.
But now…it’s 3 days later, the warm air blowing thingy in the ceiling is spitting out more warms than it was before, and in the evening while she watches TV she turns the fire on even though she’s “uncomfortably” warm.
“I can wear shorts,” she sighed.
The Man…he’s all happy because he’s been walking around here in 27 layers of clothing because he’s been cold, too. Buddah is happy. I’m happy.
She can suck it up.
But…it was a great way to start the year. I barfed on her feet AND guilted her into making the place warmer. 2013 is going to be awesome!