January 04, 2013

What a way to start 2013!

Doods. I started out this year in the most awesome way.

I stood in the entry to the giant litter box room, where the Woman needed to go, and while she stood there asking me to please step aside, I barfed all over her feet. And it was one of those surprise barfs; I didn’t realize I was going to; she didn’t realize I was going to. There was no early warning horking sounds. One second I was sitting there, the next I splattered her bare feet with clumps of fur and all te water I had consumed about 3 minutes before.

Now, I was fine, really. It was just a little fur and some water. No chunks of food, nothing else. But when you hork on a person, their first impulse is to make sure you’re all right. And then they watch you the rest of the day, like they expect you to do some weird little trick, like explode into a ball of fur, guts, and Fancy Feast.

Getting chin skritches
The Woman wasn’t sure I felt well, so she was nice to be. When she was sitting in her chair watching TV, she set her laptop computer aside so that I could curl up in her lap, and she was pretty liberal with the chin skritches. The Man was out at a movie with The Younger Human, so we had all afternoon for me to curl up there and enjoy the attention.

Then the Man got home and she was all, “Oh, there’s something wrong with him. He’s making this weird quivering thing and he’s out of sorts and I THINK HE’S GOT A BRAIN TUMOR!”

Okay, she didn’t say the tumor thing out loud, but I know her. She was thinking it.

The Man decided to test my appetite by getting the crunchy treats out. I’m not foolish. I got up and got the damned treats, and while I was down there she turned the fireplace on.

Pretty soon, the fan in the fireplace kicked on, making hot air flow out and onto the floor, so I plopped down there and soaked up the warms, because doods…that quivering?

I WAS FREAKING COLD!

Seriously. I wasn’t quivering, I was shivering. And she touched my ears thinking I might have a fever and commented about how cold they were, and that STILL didn’t clue her in. All afternoon, I sat on her lap and she thought it was only for the skritches.

That was only part of it. The other part…I was trying to steal HER warms, but since he’s mostly cold blooded, there weren’t many warms for me to get.

But now…it’s 3 days later, the warm air blowing thingy in the ceiling is spitting out more warms than it was before, and in the evening while she watches TV she turns the fire on even though she’s “uncomfortably” warm.

“I can wear shorts,” she sighed.

The Man…he’s all happy because he’s been walking around here in 27 layers of clothing because he’s been cold, too. Buddah is happy. I’m happy.

She can suck it up.

But…it was a great way to start the year. I barfed on her feet AND guilted her into making the place warmer. 2013 is going to be awesome!

15 comments:

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

What an awesome start to the year, Max!

joyce said...

that's a smart boy Max....unfortunatly we started out the new year losing my dear Salem...he was 13-sudden onset terminal cancer...he loved warms too..kylie my younger kitty and i are sad now...be good to pest...love you

The Florida Furkids said...

You're off to a great start! We love the warms too (good thing since we live in Florida!!)

The Florida Furkids

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

True to form, Mam, You are awesome!

Gemini and Ichiro said...

You know acupuncture can help that temperature thing--for your person cause like it sounds like she's ridiculously warm all the time. And you know what? I love living with a cold person because the heat always comes on, usually before I need it!

Saku said...

Our mom has the hots too! We has to remember that hork thing, cuz sometimes when she tosses the covers of the bed, she throws us off too! What`s up with that?

We hopes you has a warm and happy weekend!

Sasha, Sami, & Saku

The Island Cats said...

Wow, Max...we always learn cool stuff from you...like to hork on the mom's feet in order to get her to crank up the heat. Brilliant!!

Unknown said...

Oh My Cod! Me hopes my Mommy does not read your post, because ME is going to try that! Me has been trying to gets our Mommy to turn up the heat for a month now! All she does is complain that its too hot! While Daddy, me, the Hairy slobbery sisters and Kozmo is all turning blue!
Thanks YOUS!
Kissews
Nellie

Just Ducky said...

Mum doesn't like to be cold either. So the house is usually warm, except overnight. But then mum gets the warms when she goes to bed.

Ivan from WMD said...

Major score!!!

Gigi said...

Whoa--good job, Dude! I am verreh impressed. Since the, um, "event" last August, I have gotten, well, ::shhhhh:: fatter than I used to be so I don't get as freezing. Still, the radiator? Well, it's heaven!

Max: We think your Woman might like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=GbycvPwr1Wg

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

MOL! Awesome way to start the year! you got that human woman in line, getting you and the human man, warm! Good job!
Barfing on the toes? Classic!

Gigi said...

Max, I see Nike and the NFL are interested in you! Is there something you're not telling us???

Anonymous said...

Max, you never cease to amaze me with your timing and your agility of thought! Horking a real live fresh dead furball right on the woman! Truly the year of 2013 will be an awesome one for you! My best to you and your family!

Max said...

=sigh= spam spam spam spam

I delete 'em when I see 'em...