5:30 in the damned morning. Even I was asleep, minding  my own freaking business, dreaming about breakfast and getting Purina Proplan Stinky Goodness with chunky stuffs covered in gravy. Buddah, on the other paw, was awake and apparently looking out the front window, because the girl kitty that likes to come up to the door and knock on the window there was outside and teasing him.

Seriously, she comes up and bangs on the window with her paw, and I think she knows it drives him 32 kinds of crazy. He gets so worked up that he's damn near frothing at the mouth. And when he gets that worked up and can't get to what he wants, he goes after something else.

At 5:30 this morning, that would be me.

Doods, he was freaked out! He went after me so fast and hard that I screamed bloody murder, the kind of scream that peels a Person up out of bed, gets them to put their glasses on, and has them down the hall in about 1.3 seconds.

He's not as innocent as he looks...
In that 1.3 seconds, Buddah let me go and went to the other window, because the girl kitty likes to go front window to window, making him follow and wheeze at her. The Woman stumbled out and heard him and knew instantly what was going on, but I wasn't there with him so she did a lot of asking, "Where's Max? Where's Max?" but the little shit was too busy with that girl kitty to pay attention to her. Plus, he was busy knocking books off the bookcase because they were in his way.

She finally came into the room where she watches TV and found me curled up on the floor by her chair, still a few degrees of freaked out, but I was obviously all right, and Buddah was making a beeline for the back patio door.

Now, it used to be that if the Woman looked out the door and turned the light on, the girl kitty would get scared and run, but she knows now that no one is gonna hurt her, so she stayed right there and tormented Buddah some more. He was wheezing and was kinda growly, and I was thinking that the Woman better not touch him unless she wanted to draw back a bloody stub.

She's been there, done that with him, so she just banged on the door and tried to make the girl kitty go away, but that took a minute or so before she got the message that the next step might be the opening of the door and a giant person chasing her across the lawn.

Buddah ran to the next window, just in case, but she finally went away. The Woman rubbed my head and told me I was fine, like I didn't already know that, and she said I could go back to bed with her, but honestly, I wasn't moving until I knew for sure that Buddah had calmed down some.

Sometimes, I think the little freak really is related to basement cat.

Comments (12)

You know that's the kind of thing I'd expect from Ichiro. I was hoping he'd outgrow it, but it doesn't sound promising...

Isn't there something your human can do to make that little wench go away and stay away? I don't care if she does things to disturb your human - that is no big deal - but if it is making Buddah act out on YOU, Max, that is not good! One day he might get stuck on Freakout mode and not come out of it and you guys would have to be separated indefinitely.

I don't want to sound alarmist, but redirected aggression can get bad. Just sayin'.

We'z got strange kittehs that come by our winders too. Hommanmommeh knows where some of dem live, but deyre hommans deny it. So Hoomanmommeh called da poe-lees cuz dere's laws here bout lettin kittehs roam free. But de poe-lees sed he can't do nuttin till he knows where dey live. So Hoomanmommeh is gettin a sooper soker to shoot at dose oder kittehs.

Wow, Max, exciting night, hey? No doubt you would be happy to do without it. At our house Sammy gets a little worked up when other cats come in our yard and we're inside. Zorro snaps his tail back and forth and Bello thinks this might be a good moment to join in, yeowling and flicking his tail around. We really bond in our outrage, y'know? :)

Ya know, bra, I'd feel sorry for you, but a.) think of all the stuff you've done to torture Buddah, and b.) he is a black cat like me. So he got wound up. It happens.

Son of basement cat?

Related, h*ll, Max! He either IS basement cat, or been possessed by him! Dood, I'd be very, very careful if I were you!

We're glad we're not the only family things like that happen to!

The Florida Furkids and Lexi

That had to be scary for you and the Woman!

dude! you were amazin' not to hand buddah his head!! somma the best (worst) fights we've efur had (with fur flyin', blood lettin', an' wild fartin'!) haff been frum redirected aggression. hard to resist that ol' urge!

Aww, poor Max! Women are nothing but trouble, Man. I guess this wasn't much fun for Buddah or the Woman or probably even you, but it made for a really great read, and that counts for something!

Who is the little wench? Cause, you know, she really should be taught a lesson. Just sayin'.

Yikes Max!
Scout chases me, pins me down and tries to bite my neck and that's bad enough but man, living with that little black demon makes you a saint.
Let's just hope you don't end up a martyr.