File This Under TMI =or= Not For The Easily Offended, 'Cause I'm Talking About My Goodies. Yeah, THOSE Goodies...

Ok. So last night I was in the big comfy chair taking a bath, and the Woman came in to watch some TV; since I got to the big comfy chair first she did all the usual grumbling about how that was HER chair and I was sitting in HER place, but she parked her considerably sized 'ttocks into the recliner and turned the TV on, and I resumed my bath.

Now, as I am wont to do in the interest of complete hygiene, I leaned back and hiked my leg up to wash the parts of me that should have been my fun bits, but thanks to the intervention of the People and the stabby guy, they're not so much fun as lacking function. But they do need a good cleaning every now and then, so I was about to start when I had this sudden realization and it kind of made me stop in mid lick and look useless, empty boybits are, well, uneven. I don't know why I never noticed this before, but I noticed it last night and sort of froze in position and stared at them.

Eventually the Woman noticed and asked, "Something interesting there, Big Guy?"

I was too engrossed in thought to reply, but I wanted to tell her, "Look, they're not right. One half is black and the other half is white, and against the white of my tummy, it's just, well...wrong."

But I didn't say anything, I just stared at myself, trying to figure out how I had never noticed that before. I pushed my paw into my belly a little more to get a better look, and sure enough. One black, one white, all the way around.

"Max," the Woman said, "you're kind of creeping me out."

Yeah? Well think how'd you'd feel if, after seven years of careful grooming, you JUST noticed that your formerly fun parts are wrong. I'm thinking you'd stare a little while, too.

Really, how could I not take a good long look?

Now, after much contemplation (and being called a little perv, because apparently it bothers People to see a kitty looking at himself for any length of time) I realized it's not so much wrongness as it is uniqueness, so I continued on with my bath, but it still bugs me that I went so long without noticing THAT about myself.

You'd stare, too, if it was you.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.


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