Man, I got really excited tonight because the Woman set up a second food thingy in the big bathroom, really close to the closet I like to hide in. And then she put out a giant bowl of water. So I was thinking score!, because, dooods, tons of food!

But then I saw the bags by the door and realized that tomorrow is when the People are going to go do stupid things to themselves in the snow, and that Damned Dog Butters is coming over. So my excitement turned to crushing disappointment. I should have expected that.

At least the people put food where I can get to it without having to look at that dog. I don't know what they expect me to do about a litter box, because I'm probably not coming out of that bathroom until he's gone. I suppose I can poop in the bathtub...normally I'd think of pooping in the closet, but not if I'm gonna live there for a day or two.

I don't know what Buddah's plans are, but I figure with that dog here, it's every cat for himself. The closet is mine.

Want to know how I spent my day? Do you?

I'll tell you.

I spent my day in the freaking closet in the big bedroom, curled up on top of the Man's dirty laundry.

Want to know why I spent my day there? Do you?

I'll tell you.

I spent all day there because THAT DAMNED DOG BUTTERS WAS HERE! He had the entire front half of the house to himself where he ran around making the People think he's just soooo cute, while I had to hide to keep him from eating me. Because he would, you know. He sees me and I'm pretty sure he sees a glorious 16 pound snack.

Which is really something, when you consider he probably only weight 12 pounds or so. Maybe 14. Or 20. But I'm pretty sure he could eat me.

You want to know what's worse? Do you?

I'll tell you.

Next week HE IS GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT!

I chit you not. The People are going to go strap sticks to their feet and try to not die in the snow, and the Younger Human is going to bring that damned dog Butters here and stay ALL NIGHT LONG.

I am going to have to just live in the closet.

My life is over.

My Day in pictures...

Dooood...you see what I see?



Clearly, it's mine and not yours...



Just wait a while...I might leave you some...



=sigh= The Woman took pity, didn't she? You'll never learn this way...




This is like kitty nirvana...food on demand! I don't think we get to keep it forever, though, the People just want to get us used to it because they're planning on going somewhere soon to kill themselves in the snow and won't come home to feed us at night.

It's not Stinky Goodness, but for a pinch it'll do.

I'm not sure what they expect Buddah to eat. It's not like I plan on sharing with him...

I did not chase the red dot...
I did not chase the red dot...
I did not chase the red dot...

Remember him?

My Younger Human?

In just 10 days he's going to jump in some really, really cold water, all to benefit the Special Olympics.

He's raised a few bucks, but could always use a few more. One buck, two bucks...and not the vishus deer type bucks, it all helps.

He has a donation page.

I'm just sayin'...

DENNY STILL LIKES ME!!!

He sent home chicken tonight!

If this had been yesterday, I would think he loves me, but I'm happy enough for him just liking me.

Chicken, dooods! Real live fresh dead chicken!

I hope you get to be all smoochysmoochysmoochy with the Valentine of your choice!
Me, I'm just gonna hike my leg up and lick myself.
Because that's how I roll...

Hey, guys, I have a new friend, and I think he decided to be my friend because of my massive disappointment with Denny! His name is Apple Bee, but I'm pretty sure he prefers to be called Mr. Bee, mostly because that's a girly kind of name and I really doubt he's a girly kind of guy.

He's a man's man, and I know this because, dooods... he sent me steak! Seriously! Real live fresh dead cow, cooked medium, and cut up into bite sized pieces!

I don't know where the People met Mr. Bee, but I'm not gonna question because, come on, steak!

It wasn't even a tiny taste, it was a pretty big taste, so now I'm a little full, and the fireplace is on so I can go soak up the warms and nap until dinner time.

My life is awesome.

Dooods, you're not going to believe this. I still don't believe it. I mean, it's unthinkable and my feelings are hurt and I'm not sure that I'll ever get over it.

I did not get to meet Denny today.

I waited by the door and I told the Woman more than once to hurry up because we had to be there before two o'clock because that's when the free food was going to run out, and I figured since my People are so cheap that they'd be all fired up to go.

But no.

They did not go.

I begged for them to take me, but then the Woman told me the truth. the truth that hurt me right down to my furry core.

Denny doesn't allow kitties.

Denny discriminates.

There was no free Grand Slam for Max. No chicken. Nothing.

I thought Denny really, really liked me. But he doesn't want to meet me and I'm not allowed to go see him, so I just don't know anymore. He might not even send me chicken ever again.

My life sucks.

Guys, remember a couple of years ago I told you a story about an awesome dog named Stoner?

It's bad news this time. About 4 o'clock this morning he decided it was time to go to The Bridge. Stoner was very old for a dog his size, but still...he was an awesome dog, and his people are going to miss him a lot. So will Tank, the puppy he adopted.

Frankly, so will I. I'll miss getting comments from Some Wandom Woofy. And I'll miss hearing stories about the things he steals from the refrigerator.

One of his people, Murf, lurks on a lot of cat blogs and is a huge fan of dozens of us, so if you could think a few good thoughts for him and his family today, I would appreciate it.

Dooods! I just heard that one of my favorite people, Denny, is giving everyone FREE FOOD tomorrow! EVERYONE! From 6 am to 2 pm you can go there and get a free grand slam! Whatever the heck that is, it's food and it's FREE!

See, I TOLD you Denny was awesome!!!

We all need to go and get our free food! (Oh yeah, if you're reading this on Tuesday, Feb 9th, it's TODAY so you better HURRY!!!) I am so excited!

I hope I get to meet Denny. He's, like, my hero or something.

Oh man, today the weather was nice, so the front door got opened and some windows got opened. We really needed that, because this place was starting to smell like cat poop and people sweat. The cat poop smell isn't so bad, because we poop rainbows you know, but people sweat? Major Ugh.

They actually do bathe regularly, but they just can't help it. I heard the Younger Human say once it was worse at his house because it's a house full of guys and apparently Dood Stink is unique. I'd kind of like to check that out for myself, but that would require a ride in the car in my plastic tomb, and then when I got there I'd have to content with two other kitties, and that Damned Dog Butters. The Woman says I can get an idea of it by getting into the Man's car, but I think I'll pass.

I'm just glad we got some fresh air today, and I think Spring is just around the corner!

I want the fireplace thingy on.

The Woman says it's not cold enough in here for it.

The Man, when he gets up, will say, "It's a little chilly in here," and he will turn it on.

Clearly, the Man is the better person...