Oh, man...the greatness of being Me.

I can go into the bathroom and do something really rank, something that sends the People running from the apartment with their hands clamped firmly over their mouths and noses, and I don't get blamed for it! Buddah does! As soon as any unpleasant odor hits the air, it's "Buddah! GEEZ!" and while they're running for fresh air, they start talking about shoving a cork up his butt.

I can knock stuff over in the kitchen, and they automatically think Buddah did it.

I can unroll the toilet paper. Buddah.

I can knock the trash can over and spread its contents throughout the entire kitchen. Buddah.

I can do anything I want, and BUDDAH will get blamed!

Life is so freaking good!

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