OK, so, I have this thing about closets. I like them. I really like them. Remember when we got Buddah and he made me so sick? Hanging out in the closet was about the only thing that made me feel even a tiny bit better. We had a nice closet then, with a door that made a sproooiiiiiiiing noise when I opened it, and lots of floor space upon which I could spread my black and white glory.

Since then we've had some ok closets, but nothing spectacular, until we moved into this house.

The big bedroom has a wicked nice closet. I mean, it's huge. It's loaded with all the Man's clothes (um, yeah, the Woman? She gets the LITTLE closet in the LITTLE bedroom) and some boxes up high on shelves, but there's lots of floor space for a kitty to lounge. And the Man dumped a bunch of clothes on the floor that he wants to give to some dood named Will, who must be a decent enough guy,because they keep calling him Good Will. Personally, if I was Will I'd give them a wedgy for that, because even when you;re really nice, no one wants to be called Good Whateveryournameis, because that's the kind of thing that gets you beat up after school.

Anyway, the Man realized that I was lounging in the closet on top of those clothes a lot. It's one of my favorite napping spots, because it's comfortable and quiet and Buddah never goes in there. So you know what he did? He scooped up all those clothes! The ones I was sleeping on!

But, it got better.

After he scooped up all those clothes, he put a bed down.

A nice, big, FURRY bed just for me. It's kind of like Buddah's red bed by the fire thingy, but not red, and it's FURRY. I mean, it's the kind of furry that can make a kitty understand why people are always trying to pet us. It's soft and warm and FURRY and just makes you want to rub your face all over it.

Not that I do that.

But dooods, with that bed in there, it's like I have my very own Mancat Cave! The only thing missing is food and a litter box, but since I don't really WANT a litterbox in there, it's just about ideal.

Really, if I could just get the Man to get all his stuff out of there, I'd have like a HOUSE of my very own, it's that awesome...

Doods. DOODS! Look!



I was laying there minding my own business, enjoying a little post-420 nip bar, when the Woman said, "Hey! You got a present in the mail! " and she plopped it down by me with, "It's from your friends Bansidhe and Jingle Belle Ewen!"

Well, these are some very good friends, and you can tell how I feel about both them and the Nip.



And doods...that was before the Woman opened the bag!

Now, I am nothing if not generous, so I told Buddah all about it and showed him the bag.



He was all, "Whoa, dood, can we have some, like, right now? On the floor? Not in a toy?" And we looked at the Woman and she said, "Sure, you'd just rip a toy open to eat it anyway."



And doods, that's what we did.

We ate the Nip right there on the dirty carpet, and got pretty well toasted off our asterisks.

Holy carp, this is some PRIMO chit! And we have enough for a long time!

Thank you Bansidhe and Jingle Bell! You can see, we LOVE it! Thank your Mom for us, too, because it was wicked nice of her to take it to the post office to mail it for you.

Now excuse me, I have a pink elephant to chase.

Lookit the damage to the Woman's hand...

 Best yet...I didn't do it! Buddah did! he wanted treats and asked for them and the Woman said no but tried to hug him and he sunk his teeth into her arm (not shown) and when she went and sat down, rather pissed off, he came over to her like he wanted to make up, and when she tried to pet him, he went all postal and tried to rip her to shreds! Dooods, I've never seen anything like that before! Buddah was all ninja badass, but it was really stupid because there's no way he's getting any treats now, maybe not ever again,

That better not spill over to me. I know better than to draw blood. When I sink my teeth into a people, I do it gently, just enough to let them know I could draw blood if I wanted, but I don't. I think they appreciate that about me. Because I'm awesome.

First the bad news. It looks like The Mows is definitely wrapping up, judging by today's new strip. This bums me out mightily.

But the good news! Spitty the Kitty, who has been lurking on our blogs for YEARS finally has a blog of his own! Please go welcome him to the cat blogosphere. He's a pretty cool dood and I know you're gonna like him.

Now I have to go block the door, because the Woman wants to go outside and play on her Trikke, but I want a lap, and I'm determined to win this one.

Back in March, someone submitted a question to Ask Max Anything, and wanted to know what had happened to The Mows comic strip...I found a contact email address for the doood that writes it, and the good news is that he's fine, he just got distracted by other things. The bad news is that he mentioned wrapping it up. So there may be no more Mows, which sucks.

Finally...they went out and got me a new fountain. It's about time, because i was getting awfully thirsty.

Well, yeah, they put out a water bowl, but if I'd used it they wouldn't have made an effort to replace the fountain. But as soon as they had it up and running, oh yeah. I marched right over to that water bowl and took a long drink.

That'll show 'em.

Aw, man...my water fountain broke. It just stopped spitting the water out for me, and now I have to drink from the stupid bowl at the bottom. I pointed it out to the Woman a dozen times during the night and again today, but would she run out and get me a new one?

No! She said I had to wait and see it the Man could fix it.

And when he finally got up and looked at it. "It's broken."

That's what I said!

She still wouldn't go out and buy me a new one and said I would survive without it for another night or two.

TWO?

She better not be serious.

Oh holy...you know what the People came home last night smelling like? Do you? I'll tell you what!

They came home smelling like THAT DAMNED DOG BUTTERS!

And meat. Butters and meat. You'd think that if they're gonna whore around with that spastic little woofy that they would bring me home some of that meat. But no. Because they're mean. Just. Mean.

Oh man...tonight the people went out for a while, and when they came back I tried to sit in the Woman's lap, but i caught a whiff of something that just disturbed me, so I had to sniff to see if my worst fears were right.

And dooods...they were. I sniffed the Woman's breath, and I smelled it.

Chicken.

Denny's chicken.

Now, we've already established that Denny likes me enough to always send chicken home for me, so clearly, the Woman ate my piece of chicken when he wasn't looking.

She ate my chicken!

This cannot be allowed to go without punishment. Something of hers must meet a toothy death. Something good.

It's The PsychoKitty Caption Game!!!

Just think of a caption, and submit it in the comments.

If the first kitty playing assigns a name to the kitty in the picture, then that's the name everyone has to use!

Bonus: caption it like a LOLcat.

Today, there was shrimp. Real live fresh dead shrimp, cut into bite sized pieces, just the way I like it. Not too cold, but not all been-sitting-out-too-long warm, either. And it was the last of it, until the Man remembers to buy some more.

Buddah, who does not tend to lime people food, scarfed his down and then came over to my plate and stared quite rudely. I was going to smack him upside his pathetic little head when I remembered that he hadn't liked what we got for breakfast, and was probably very very hungry still.

So doods, I let him have mine.

Because that's how I roll.