But then she grabbed a bunch of stuff, like a box she put food FOR HERSELF in, and a jacket, and the giant hard hat she wears when she's on her rumbly bike, and she left. Just like that. I sat by the door and looked out the window there and kept saying "Come back! Come back! You forgot something!" but she didn't come back. HOURS later, or maybe about five minutes, the Man came back from passing gas but did he feed us? Not for like TWENTY minutes! And then he had the nerve to point out we were getting to eat early because he had to go to bed.
That was another horror of the weekend...the Woman was gone all day and the Man was sleeping all day and there was no one to give me head and chin skritches. I even got COLD but there was no one there to turn the fire box thingy one.
And yesterday, it happened all over again. She went off really early and he came home and didn't feed us for HOURS, or at least thirty minutes while he took a bath, and then we were alone all day long. Right about the time the Man got his lazy ass out of bed-when the talking head on TV came on to tell us what stupid crap happened during the day--the Woman came home and said she passed her skills test.
So I listened. You know what she was doing all weekend while I was without head skritches and warm? Do you?
She was taking a class on how to ride a rumbly bike!
Dooods...she's been riding rumbly bikes for almost FOUR freaking years! AND she took the class four years ago! I got ignored for two whole freaking days so she could so something she already did before!
Oh, she says it was a lot of fun and the other ladies taking the class were lots of fun, too, and the rider coach was all kinds of awesome, but that doesn't change the fact that my life was INCONVENIENCED so she could learn to do something she already knows how to do!
Look.THIS IS PROOF!
So you know what I did?
This morning, really, really early, while she was asleep and the Man was still out passing gas, I horked up a nice wet hairball.
On the brand new rug.
That'll teach them to ruin my weekend.
18 comments:
Why did she have to take the skills test again? You poor sweet kitty. starving cold and lonely!
I just wanted to take the class against to work on some rusty shifting skills...the test was just part of the class--I didn't *have* to take it, but my ego wanted to pass it with a better score than I got when I first took the class ;)
We were also left alone on Saturday by both of our humans. It's just not fair.
Ah, Max...revenge is sweet!!!
Good for you Max. Nothing like a nice big juicy hairball, although horking it on the bed would have been better. On second thoughts, the rug was brand new. Yup, good choice.
Good for you Max. A hairball on the new rug is just what she needed for leaving you all alone all weekend. At least you don't have to worry about her leaving you and going to a day hunting job too. That would really be horrible if she was gone all weekend on top of being gone at day hunting all week too.
Tavi, Cody, Camie and Gracie
Oh, Max, that is just awful and mean and unfair. Definitely make them pay!
I was expecting you to poop on her pillow!
Well, what the cat yak. Maybe you need to start interviewing.
I can't believe how you're being neglected lately Max.
Excellent, Max!!! That'll learn her!!!
Padre, Panda Bear, Meerkat, Cookie, and Caramel
P.S. Mom Here: About 10 years ago, my in-laws gave us The.Best.Christmas.Present.Ever. A Hoover SteamVac Plus, due to the special skills of Mohawk (King of Horking)and Clyde. So at our house, we have two rug-sucking monsters, one wet and one dry.
Also, we recently discovered the magic of "PetZyme Cat Stain and Odor Remover" a liquid in a spray bottle, which we get at PetSmart. While it's wet it looks like "Oh My God it's leaving a bigger stain than the pile of hork!" But it dries without a trace. Try it on an area that is not so obvious first to see what I mean.
You show them Max. My weekend wasn't any better. The Woman got up really early on Thursday and you know what?! She didn't come home until late last night!!! The Male fed us and looked at us (we would not get close enough to let him pet us--well Gemini did a little bit but she's not discriminating) so I didn't get any attention ALL WEEKEND LONG!!! How is that?!
And to top it off--she was visiting Laila and Minchie!!! So she got to talk to cats. I am not at all happy about this turn of events...
Your mom is very brave.
I had to rub my eyes when I read this. How dare they treat you this way? Don't they know you have a certain schedule that needs to be adhered to (and that schedule can change at your will without notice)?
I can't believe she abandoned you to do something she already did! And your Man sleeping instead of spoiling you? I can't imagine the horror. Well, I sorta can with that blurpy, gassy, noise box aka #2 taking up all the beans time. I've only gotten breakfast in bed one time this chilly season!
PS "Oh Holy Hell early"! ha ha ha That is why you da' man.
You certainly got your weekend ruined, Max. The hairball on the new carpet was brilliant. I wonder where Herman will pick for his first one. I will try to remember that it is a gift.
Life isn´t fair!Sorry!
Oh nose not on dat beeuteeful rug! Yur rite, she neeglected yoo all weekend. And, yoo know how those humans are, it takes dem furefur to get things rite. She is cool now tho. Schmaybe one head bump from yoo might be nice.
Max, ya really been havin it hard the passed few day!
I mean, we are used ta not getting breakfast on time, but at least the first thibg The Big Thing does when he staggers outta bed at noon is feed us before he even makes his morning tea leaf poison drink!
That yer Beins put ya 2nd (or even 3rd) on their list is jus completely unacceptable.
We think that deserves the next hairball ON THEM in bed... Faces are a bit out of bounds, but they should not only hear it, they should FEEL it. So get unner the covers...
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