November 23, 2008

Ok, so one morning last week the Man got up before the Woman did, and he came downstairs to open cans of Stinky Goodness like a good pet caregiver should, and then he went back upstairs to read email or play some online game involving geeks and WoW and who knows what else. The thing is, he went upstairs before I had a chance to determine my own personal comfort level, and by the time I decided it was a little too cold downstairs, he was already up there engrossed in nerdly activities.

So I sat in the middle of the Woman's office, looked upstairs and said "Hey! Get back down her! I'm cold!" but being human all he heard was "Meow! Moew meow meow meow. MEOW!" He wandered out of the Hall of CompuGeek, looked down and said something like "What do you want? You need to be quiet." And then he turned around and went back to his Whatever before I could even answer him.

So I went over the the foot of the stairs and looked up at the thingy on the wall that has the magic buttons the People can press to make the warm air blowing thingy come one and said "GET DOWN HERE BECAUSE I AM COLD!!!"

He wandered back out and looked down, and saw what I was looking at as I meowed, and said "Oh! You're cold!" I would have bit him, but he did come down and turned the warm air blowing thingy on for me.

Later on he was relating the tale from his warped people perspective for the Woman, but I didn't bite him because he started it with "You know how smart Max is?"

Well no chit Cherlock. I'm glad you finally grasped that notion. It only took you what, seven years?

One would think that after I meowed so loudly when I needed something, that this would sink into their brains. Yes, I sing for them, but that's quite a different tone of meow. When I'm sitting downstairs saying MEOW MEOW MEOW with authority, they should know something is amiss.

But then the other night the Woman was asleep, but I needed her so I meowed. Loudly. Loud enough that she woke up and came downstairs to see what was the matter. When she got here I said "Turn on the light, I have something to show you," but all she did was ask "What's wrong?" and then she looked out the window and added, "there's no one out there, Big Guy."

Well duh. Trust me, if someone had been out there trying to get in, I wouldn't be sitting in the middle of the room talking about it. I'd be upstairs hiding under a bed. I'm not stupid. Obviously.

But instead of turning on the light and seeing what I needed her to see, she went back to bed. Oh, she didn't sleep and then complained to the Man that I'd woken her up at 4:30 in the morning and she couldn't get back to sleep, but she couldn't taken 30 seconds to turn the freaking light on.

Later that day they were both in the living room and the Man asked, "what's that on the floor?" and the Woman looked and said, "It looks like a hairball." Nice catch there, sunshine. It was indeed a hairball, barfed quite nicely on the tile flooring by the fire box thingy. You know, a place easy to clean. That's how thoughtful I am.

Then the lightbulb went off over hear head, singing what few brain cells I think she has left. "Maybe that's what he wanted when he woke me up...he wanted me to clean up the barf."


I'm a smart kitty. They've admitted as much. So why don't they listen to me???


At least I did MY part and TOLD her there was something she needed to see. It's not my fault they're a little dense.

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