Oh Bast...help me...

Posted by Max | Posted on 9/12/2014 09:51:00 PM

She's singing.

The Woman is singing.

She's been torturing me with this for the last hour or so, and my head hurts. I've tried making her stop by yelling above the decibels of her wailing, I've jumped on her desk and stuck my face in hers and said sternly, "STOP!" and I've even head-butted her face.

Years ago, she did the same thing. She sat at her desk with music playing way too loud, and she tried to sing along with it. A few times I put my paws over her lips to stop her, but really the only thing that finally worked was the Man going to pass gas at night. That meant she had to be quiet during the day, when she normally blared awful music and howled along with it.

Tonight instead of watching TV, she sat at her desk, turned the music on, and began torturing me.

I kind of wonder if it has something to do with her own blog today. She's trying to get people to give boobie money, and for some horrible, awful, misguided reason she seems to think they'll donate if she promises to sing for them.

No one wins with that.

Plus, she says when she does she's going to wear one of these outfits:


Holy fructose, doods, that's going to be 397 kinds of wrong.

On the other hand, if she raises the money and sings one stupid song while dressed like one of those club-hoppers from Who Let The Dogs Out and people SEE and HEAR that chit, maybe she'll learn a harsh lesson and never sing again.

Oh, I can only hope.

Here's the deal: if she can raise just under $1000 by September 19 at 8 pm California time, she'll put the eye gouging spandex on, sing a song and video record it, and then put it online where everyone can point and laugh.

Oh! And if she hits that goal by then, she's going to fund DKM's walk, so there's that. That's a total win.

Please help me stop the singing. Your donations are tax deductible. Plus...there may be a prize or two coming; no promises but we always give stuff away so I don't see this year being any different.

My poor, bleeding ears...

Comments (5)

We like the outfit on the left.
MOL!

Good luck to your Mommy. (and your ears)

People would probably pay my human to STOP singing! Maybe I should put that to good donation use...

Maybe she should try singin until peeps donate to get her to be quiet. MOL!

Actually, that's a perfect way to donate. You have it exactly right. Sponsor the boobies or she'll sing and dance. What a concept. Sheer genius!

Oh man, Max. Can you stuff some cotton in your ears??