Now, at first I thought that I would REALLY like to find out if he tastes like chicken, but I had no idea what the heck I was looking at, so I asked the Woman. What the heck is that?
"That," she said, "is Macaroni."
I called shenanigans. I've seen macaroni. It doesn't look a thing like that dood. It looks all weird and whitish until the cheese whiz gets poured on, and then it's a bowl full of lickable goodness.
"His name is Macaroni," she added.
Well, that would have been good information to have upfront, ya know?
Macaroni is a new seal at Six Flags, the place they go a lot during the summer to walk around and look at all the fun things they've gotten too old to ride. He's a rescue seal--kind of like a lot of the CB are rescue kitties--and he got in a fight with a boat, and because of it he's blind.
I don't have all the details about his boat battle, but I'm thinking he won. Other than being blind he looks pretty good.
He doesn't catch fish that people throw into the water for the seals, but he's really good about sitting there and the handlers let him sniff their hands, and then they hold out fish to him, so he knows he's got something to eat. And they feed him as much as he needs to keep all those muscles.
Since he can't see, he sometimes gets lost in the water, but there are a bunch of other seals with him and most of them are girl seals, and when he gets lost all he has to do is cry and the girls come and get him and guide him back out of the water. Then he can bask in the sun and smell everything around him. The Woman said he's kind of like Stevie Wonder; he lifts his head and turns his face back and forth. I dunno what Stevie Wonder is doing when he does that, but Macaroni is sniffing and smelling everything around him. And there's a lot to smell, with all the people in the park, and all the food and stuff.
And ya know, after hearing his story, I didn't want to find out if he tastes like chicken. In fact, if it didn't mean leaving the house and taking a car ride, I wouldn't mind going to meet him. I mean, dang doods, he beat up a boat! How badass is that?
I'm glad he was rescued after the fight and has people who are willing to feed him, and his own harem of girl seals who help him in the water. Because a guy like that? Seems to me he deserves the attention now.
So in his honor, I will never eat seal meat.