Cripes...It's been over 10 days since I got a shot at writing a blog post, because I live with massive human globs of fleshy FAIL. I mean, here I promised to get caught up with Ask Max Anything, but noooo...I haven't been able to.

The People have actually been at home the last couple of days and you'd think that the Woman would let me use the laptop, but she's been sitting here with it while she drools all over herself in a nonstop drugged out medicated haze, which is her own damned fault because she thinks she's still 21 years old and went outside to do stupid things in the snow. And at her ancient age, she just doesn't bounce back from Teh Stupid the way she used to.

So now instead of getting premium online time, I'm babysitting and playing nurse to her. When she got back from Stupidity in the Snow she needed me to sleep on top of her and purr hard, being very careful to avoid the really ouchy parts, and all day yesterday she was in bed and needed more purr therapy. Cripes, that's hard work. I mean, I had to sleep on her so long that when she got up to let the Man make food for her, I needed a nap.

Today she's not all drugged up and she's upright and drooling in front of the TV, so I got a shot at the computer. But in a little while she's going to swallow more drugs and then she'll want to lie down because the world will start swimming and she doesn't have any good water wings, so she'll need me to crawl back up on top of her on the bed and purr.

She's a little strange, though...she hurt her shoulder, but the most ouchy parts are on her chest and her back, and she feels best when I'm stretched out across her stomach, hips, and legs, with my head between her boobs. Hey, whatever works.

Plus, the Man is all jealous, so, HA!

Comments (14)

I love it when you can make the males jealous. Of course, you know I live for that in my house. It shows them you are above them in the pecking order.

Everyone knows purr therapy speeds healing. Something about subsonics, subtle vibrations, relaxing muscles, and calming tension. Or something like that. (Sounds good anyway.) Keep up the good work Max. And when it gets to be too much, make Buddah take over and give you a break.

Gee, just when you think you got them trained they go and be stoopid. Keep up the purr therapy, Msx

Male humans! If my human's tried to lay on her the way I do, he would squish her! Even though he only weighs about 140-something - it is all Dead Weight.

We cats are much better human warmers and healers.

Max, purrs are great healing therapy. So we're sending your mom lots of purrs too, and Light as well.

We also hope you get extra stinky goodness and/or treats for all your hard work, helping to heal your mom!

Max, I'm sure your therapy is the very best for mom. She owes you lots of that stinky goodness and some Temptations Party Mix.

Purrs to your mom.

Mindy, Moe, BonBon, Cookie & Mike

Max, you know cat spit has magical healing properties, too. So if you dribble a little bit, well, you're jut speeding the healing process; NOT being a sooky lala.

Max, we cant verify this, but we heard a rumor that mancats subconciously transmit sensations ta male beins. So we think that means the Male is getting free feels through ya without doin annythin in return.

So the Woman is gainin from ya (warmth), the Male is gainin from ya (feels). We think he ought ta be givin ya LOTS of extra treats...

We send some extra purrs for you all. We know how hard to have to purr to get people well.

Hi Mix - You commented: “I still think about Skeeter a lot. He was a wicked cool cat. And I love that picture of him napping on his face... It's classic.

Thank you so much!

Ya know he's having himself a blast up there with LC. I'm counting on him to be able to show me where the good stuff is when I get there...”

Max, you can rest assured that, when the time comes, Skeeter will be at the front of a large crowd waiting to welcome you to The Bridge as one of the Most Honored Cats. Not that it can’t wait for many years… But when it happens, Skeeter will be waiting to show you around.

Serious Mutual Dude respect...

The Big Thing

It sounds like you are taking good care of teh Woman!

Max, that is very noble of you to take such good care of The Woman. Mom says that she enjoys the healing comforts a purring kitteh can give. However, for some reason, she says that kneading her abdomen does not provide the same relief.

And making The Man jealous, too. Wow. You have so much talent it's frightening.

Padre, Panda Bear, Meerkat, Cookie, and Caramel, (& fosters Hunter, Sunny, Sky, Silver, and Rico)

Max. You rock! You should rent yourself out and charge by the half-hour. Think of the earnings potential! And you could sleep on all kind of boobies and stuff!

Max, there's nothin' funnier than listenin' to our mom's moan and groan their regret at not bein' sweet young thangs anymore. 'Specially when they're scorched to the nine's on legal drugs! I feel for ya, buddy.